A date worse than death?

The dating lottery
Dating basics

The question of how to land a hot date has preoccupied us ever since cavemen were dragging women around by the hair. These days that sort of approach is frowned on. But does anyone nice respond to small ads? And is anyone game for a blind date?

The dating lottery

For Greg Chen, 'finding a girl is like winning the lottery'. He had a go at putting a small ad in a magazine and got no responses – because he'd said he was deaf, he thought. So he put in a new ad, not mentioning he was deaf.

He still got no response.

Not surprisingly, perhaps, Greg wouldn't recommend personal ads.

Well, there are other options. Reena Guru is really fussy and would like to go out with Tom Cruise. But, oddly for a fussy woman, she's also up for a blind date.

Louise Pitchers wants a deaf guy who is also a 'party animal' with 'a great sense of humour and a brain'. Not fussy at all then.

Louise is considering internet dating. We wish her luck. One of the VEE- TV online team knows a bloke who met a girl from Russia in a chat room and now they're married and living in Gloucestershire. Anything's possible.

Dating basics

Whether or not you want to end up married and living in Gloucestershire, there are some important things to remember on a first date:

• Don't get completely lathered. Throwing up or drooling into your drink is not attractive, and with your booze goggles on, who knows what mistakes you might make.

• Don't stand them up. Feel the fear and do it anyway. There's always the toilet-window escape route.

• On second thoughts, tell them straight if it's all wrong. Say you've had a nice time but it's not going to work out. Tricky, but better than torturing them – or breaking your ankle jumping out of the toilet window.

• Don't talk about your ex – that part comes later, just before your first argument.

Apart from that, remember safety:

• You don't know much about this person, so meet in a place with lots of people and plenty of lighting.

• Make sure you sort out your own transport for going home. Don't rely on getting into the car of someone you hardly know.

• Tell other people where you're going.

• Watch your drink. If you think it's been spiked, get the bar staff's attention straight away.

• Don't give away your address until you feel confident and secure.

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