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General Etiquette
- The Master and Mistress of the House should be addressed as 'Sir' and 'My Lady' respectively 1
- The eldest son should be addressed as 'Mister...' and the youngest son as 'Master...' 2
- The daughter should be addressed as 'Madam...' 3
- Never let your voice be heard by the Masters of the house, except when necessary, and then as quietly as possible 4
- Always 'give room' if you meet one of your Masters on the stairs, or in corridors
- Always stand still and keep your hands by your side when speaking to a lady or being spoken to and look at the person speaking to you
- Never begin to talk to the Masters unless it is to deliver a message or ask a necessary question
- Servants should never offer any opinion to their Masters, not even to say good night or good morning except in reply to salutation
- Never talk to another servant, or a person of your own rank, or to a child in the presence of your mistress, unless for necessity then do it as shortly as possible, and in a low voice
- Never call from one room to another
- Always answer when you have received an order
- Outer doors are to be kept constantly closed
- No abusive language on any account is to be allowed
- Servants are forbidden from smoking in their Masters' house 5
- No servant is to receive any Visitor, Friend or Relative into the house without the consent of the Master
- All guests should be greeted either by their title and family name, or as 'Sir' or 'Madam'
- The servant cannot leave the premises without asking permission from the Master 6
- The Masters' bells are to be answered by the Butler only, except when he is otherwise indispensably engaged, when the assistant by his authority will take his place
- The servant will endeavour to answer the bell within 2 minutes of it being rung
- The servant will be neat and tidy in appearance 7
- The servant will always have short immaculate fingernails. Nail varnish is not permitted
- The only acceptable jewellery a servant can wear is their wedding ring. Nothing else is permitted
- The servant must never wear strong perfumes or deodorants
- The servant may only retire for the night once the master has said that they may do so
- The servants must take orders from the Butler. He is in charge of the servants at all times
- The servant will comply with all reasonable requests for help from the Master as quickly and efficiently as possible
- Always anticipate your Master's needs. Be one step ahead!
- The welfare of the Master and Lady of the house is the servant's number one priority at all times 8
Footnotes
- In 1901, when the British population was 38 million and every middle-class home had at least one servant, there were 1.7 million women and 140,000 men in service. Now service is back in fashion again.
- 'There's a definite rise in people needing staff, but the type of people looking for staff is changing. It's not just the upper classes now,' says Katherine Shields, manager of Staff of Distinction
- Increasingly, it is the middle classes who are paying for domestic help – especially where both parents are working, and need with chores and childcare
- 'They don't care about us', one cleaner told journalist Barbara Ehrenreich, in fact they don't notice us at all, unless something gets stolen, 'then they are all over you' Nickel and Dimed: Undercover in Low-wage USA, p.44
- The domestic service agency The Maids forbids smoking anywhere in a house, gum-chewing, and drinking.
- Live-in servants are not typical of domestic service today – in fact there were only 115 000 people employed in a private household in 2001 (Hansard) out of four million who work in domestic service; Most work for agencies, or for themselves, working in a number of private households.
- Larger domestic service agencies provide uniforms – but nothing like the traditional Butler's suit or maid's apron: 'The Maids' agency in the US kits out its workers in green trousers and sunflower yellow polo shirts 'more oafish than dignified' according to Barbara Ehrenreich.
- The Domestic Service industry earns an estimated four billion pounds a year.
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