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Going to Extremes

What's your problem?

Relationship break up

Losing love is a heart-crushing experience, escaped only by the lucky few. The misery of loss makes concentration hard, saps energy and lowers resistance. It's bleak but recovery is possible and it's not just a matter of waiting for time to pass. There's a lot you can do to help yourself and heal the hurt of breaking up.

Getting over it

Sort out your thoughts and feelings by talking your relationship through with the best listener you know, someone who'll hear you out without judging or offering advice.
Beware of over-romanticising. Was your partner really that perfect? Be honest.
Focus on advantages to separating, no matter how tiny. Now you can watch your choice of TV programmes, linger in the shower, talk on the phone uninterrupted.
Take extra care of yourself. Eat well. Exercise helps clear negative thoughts, but don't overdo it until you feel stronger.
Look around. Most people have been where you are, survived and found new relationships. It can happen to you, too.
Monitor your mind. Stop obsessively re-running the past.
Boost self-esteem by treating yourself to small gifts, or doing something you love, that your partner didn't enjoy.
Appreciate how much you are learning from this experience that will be hugely valuable in future.

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