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Losing love is a heart-crushing experience, escaped only by the lucky few. The misery of loss makes concentration hard, saps energy and lowers resistance. It's bleak but recovery is possible and it's not just a matter of waiting for time to pass. There's a lot you can do to help yourself and heal the hurt of breaking up.
Getting over it
- Sort out your thoughts and feelings by talking your relationship through with the best listener you know, someone who'll hear you out without judging or offering advice.
- Beware of over-romanticising. Was your partner really that perfect? Be honest.
- Focus on advantages to separating, no matter how tiny. Now you can watch your choice of TV programmes, linger in the shower, talk on the phone uninterrupted.
- Take extra care of yourself. Eat well. Exercise helps clear negative thoughts, but don't overdo it until you feel stronger.
- Look around. Most people have been where you are, survived and found new relationships. It can happen to you, too.
- Monitor your mind. Stop obsessively re-running the past.
- Boost self-esteem by treating yourself to small gifts, or doing something you love, that your partner didn't enjoy.
- Appreciate how much you are learning from this experience that will be hugely valuable in future.
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