While it is easier and safer for celebrities to 'come out' and gay and lesbian characters appear on primetime soaps, the everyday experience of lesbians and gays reveals it is still dangerous to be different.

The word 'gay' is the biggest insult a primary school child can hurl at another. Half of the respondents have suffered homophobic abuse with name-calling being the most common. Other abuse includes physical assault, intimidation and vandalism. A surprising finding of the survey is that lesbians have suffered more homophobic incidents than gay men, although attacks against men are more violent. If you are thinking of moving and setting up a gay B&B, the worst place to choose is the East Midlands, where both lesbians and gays have suffered up to five homophobic incidents.

Lesbian and gay behaviour is clearly modified by fear, with 82% avoiding kissing or holding hands in public. The most reluctance to snog in public is in Scotland for lesbians, and the West Midlands for gay men. Women can show more affection in public and often lesbians holding hands are perceived as sisters, good friends or even mother and daughter. So it figures that more lesbians than gay men risk kissing and holding hands on the streets.

While overt racist abuse is challenged in most workplaces and institutions, homophobic abuse is frequently not taken seriously. Over three-quarters of these crimes went unreported. Most people said that they 'just didn't bother' or felt that 'nothing would come of reporting it'. More men than women felt physically under threat by the offender, more frightened of the police knowing their sexuality and of police homophobia. There are many regional variations in homophobic policing. Places with a better relationship with the police seem to be Wales, where a quarter of the crimes against lesbians were reported and the North East where gay men also reported a quarter.

At a time when Labour is considering introducing Civil Partnership Registers in England and Wales, which extend financial and social rights to unmarried partners, it is clear that discrimination and fear of discrimination remain deeply embedded in our culture.