Drink far more than anyone has ever drunk before
Obvious, but essential. It's important to remain entirely focused on instant sexual gratification, with no thought for future repercussions. Alcohol can help you with this.

Dress for the part
Wear fancy dress, even if not required to do so. This will help with opening conversational gambits, and may provide some sort of disguise if things turn ugly.

Prepare the ground
As with assassination attempts and DIY, preparation is all. In the weeks leading up to the party, take the time to familiarise yourself with any office nooks and crannies that might provide a suitable location for a romantic tryst.

(Avoid the stationary cupboard, which is likely to be occupied. Instead, get creative. Can you jam the lift between floors without the alarm sounding, for instance?)

Go for the unexpected
Statistically, it's the most unlikely combinations that succeed at the office party. There's no point trying to get it together with someone you actually fancy. Instead, concentrate on people you barely know, or actively dislike. Don't let details like someone's looks or personality get in the way of a raging yuletide libido.

Avoid dancing
Inappropriate dancing, in particular any drunken attempt to 'moonwalk', has cut short more than one budding office romance and you should avoid it at all costs.

(Don't, whatever you do, go too far and avoid drinking. This will help no one.)

Lie about the future
Tell everyone you're leaving work in a few weeks. This could provide gentle encouragement for any inhibited souls reluctant to get intimate with someone from the office, and might even stimulate some farewell snogs. Deep breath, pucker up and to hell with the consequences!

Aim above your station
Sexual harrassment lawsuits tend to be brought against superiors who have abused their position of power. The courts may be marginally more lenient on you if the object of any unwanted festive attentions is your boss or manager.

Just say yes
Remember, romance is not a one-way street. If someone propositions you, seize the day. The window of opportunity between them approaching you and them collapsing from alcoholic poisoning is likely to be tiny - so this is no time to shillyshally.

(This applies even if it requires a temporary adjustment of your usual sexual orientation. Hey, it's Christmas!)

Spread your net wide
Be persistent, although not necessarily with just one person. The more signals you send out, the more chance of a positive response.

But don't overstep the mark: keep your overtures on a one-to-one basis. Standing in the middle of the dance floor and bellowing at the assembled company like an elk in heat is unlikely to attract any takers.

Finally, drink a bit more
If you take enough booze on board, the full horror of your party antics will not become immediately apparent on waking the morning after, but will flash into your mind at odd intervals throughout the day.

This drip/drip of embarrassing recollection may well culminate in a strangely satisfying frisson of sexual terror: a welcome surprise if, by some strange chance, none of our pulling tips worked for you.