Cooking Christmas dinner, the highlight of Christmas Day, is a labour of love that requires hours of preparation.

It is, therefore, to be avoided like the plague.

Which brings us nicely to our next tip. A week or so before the day itself, offer to cook a much simpler meal for those relatives you like the least.

Simply buy a ready-to-cook microwave job from the supermarket, but demonstrate your own culinary creativity by adding your own secret ingredient: laxative.

Don't go overboard, just stir in enough to invoke the symptoms of mild food-poisoning, ensuring that your presence will not be required as either chef or kitchen helper on the day itself.