Like the appendix or a monk's reproductive organs, your time at work between Xmas and New Year serves no useful purpose. It's obviously insane to expect you to be capable of work at such a delicate time - poised as you are between recovery and further abuse.

So here's the plan: fake those two days you're expected to be at work!

Make sure you bring an extra coat in on the last day before your Christmas leave. When you're ready to go, leave it on the back of your chair. Be sure to leave your computer on and a cup of coffee placed strategically on your desk.

Then, slip off quietly and don't look back. Whoever's in during the break will assume you're just in the toilet struggling with the Christmas turkey and think no more about it.

Hey, it might not be foolproof, but it's worth a try!