Deputy PM John Prescott and Chancellor Gordon Brown unveil a new Labour Party campaign poster
(PA/EMPICS)

You’ve seen the posters. You’ve heard the talk about the size of Michael Howard’s swing. And you’ve wondered what Tony Blair is doing on Richard and Judy again. Now it’s time to decide who gets to stay in the House and who gets evicted. The election is nearly here and we’ve made it easy to find out what you really need to know.

Check out which party is really thinking what you’re thinking with the sEleXion Machine - surprises guaranteed. It matches your individual take on the issues you care most about to the promises the parties have made.

Once you’ve got your sEleXion Machine results, you might like to nose about your MP’s performance record - how often they show up at work, what they vote on and how, what they’ve said in the House, and of course what expenses they’ve claimed (you’ll be perusing this strictly in the interest of democracy of course). Just click here to check out how your MP’s been doing.

Take the PQ test to see just how political your trainers really are (answer - very).

When you’ve had enough of electioneering and all you really want to talk about is Tony’s new hair, you can send us your separated at birth politician-look-a-likes in Casting the Vote.