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Young
people and stress
Teenagers
in the hot seat
Got
exam results coming up? Worried about starting a new school?
Parents always arguing?
Things
like this can sometimes seem like such a big problem they
make us feel 'stressed out'.
Adults
often complain they feel stressed by work, shopping and even
looking after the kids. But experts in stress agree that teenagers
and young people can get stressed too.
'People
used to think that childhood was a time when you were blissfully
ignorant,' says Guinevere Tufnell, a psychiatrist in a busy
child mental health clinic in east London. 'Now we know that
isn't true. Children are at least as vulnerable to stress
as adults.'
Stress
can be equally as serious for young people too. Student suicides
almost doubled - from 80 in 1990 to 140 in 1998 - according
to the Committee of Vice Chancellors and Principals. Suicides
are the most common cause of death, after accidents, in men
aged 15-24, according to the Samaritans.
Exam
stress
Exams
and exam results are a big worry for most young people. The
telephone helpline ChildLine received nearly 800 calls from
children and young people worried about exams in 1998-9.
Of
these, 19 young people were so worried they had contemplated
- and in some cases even attempted - suicide.
Callers
said they felt panic-stricken, overburdened and overwhelmed.
'They can feel their whole life hangs in the balance and pressure
to succeed can become unbearable,' says one of the helpline
counsellors.
Half
of the calls came from people sitting their GCSEs. But even
children as young as seven can get worried about sitting their
school tests. Education secretary David Blunkett said earlier
this year he would change the test papers if children were
finding them too stressful - although it hasn't happened yet.
Parents
add to the load
Sometimes
parents don't help much either. One caller to ChildLine, 16-year-old
Alan, was finding it impossible to revise because his parents
both worked late and expected him to look after his younger
brother and sister. 'It's just impossible to get any work
done. I'm going to fail, I know I am,' he told counsellors.
Other
parents expect too much. Susan, 15, said her mum was expecting
her to match her friend's results. 'But I can't. Mum doesn't
realise this other girl is dead brainy.'
One
good thing about exam stress is that you know there will come
a time when the exams are over and you can enjoy yourself
again - although waiting for the results can be nerve-racking
too.
Bullying
Unfortunately,
with some stresses, like bullying or problems with your mum
and dad, it may feel like there is no immediate end in sight.
It can be particularly difficult to know what to do if you
are being hit by somebody or even sexually abused.
Bullying
is one of the most common worries among young people. More
than 22,000 calls were made to ChildLine about bullying in
the year 1998-9 - far more than for any other issue. There
were four times as many girls as boys ringing in. Many of
them were worried about people calling them names, threatening
them, hitting them or being teased.
One
girl, Shamila, 15, told counsellors she was being bullied
by girls in her class. 'I am about the only Asian girl in
my school,' she said. She didn't feel she could tell her parents
because they weren't getting on well and she didn't want to
add to their worries.
Jackie,
14, rang up, deeply upset. Her best friend had turned against
her and was calling her names. 'I took an overdose a couple
of months ago,' she said. 'I just wanted someone to notice
me - to notice the bullying.'
Parents
breaking up
For
many young people these days, one of the most stressful events
in their lives is their parents splitting up. Family relationships
are the second most common reason for young people ringing
ChildLine, which had more than 17,000 calls about these problems
in 1998-9.
'It's
their own little Hollyoaks soap opera played out in front
of them,'
says
ChildLine's counselling manager Clive Pegram. 'You get children
asked by their parents who do they want to live with? Their
mum or their dad? A child shouldn't be having to decide that.'
He
says children should be included in making that decision with
both parents rather than being forced to choose on their own.
Do
something
When
stress goes on for a long time it can cause emotional and
behavioural problems, according to Guinevere Tufnell. There
is even some research which suggests stress may lead to mental
health problems in later life.
She
says: 'It helps a lot when adults understand that children
are vulnerable to stress, recognise the signs and get help
when it's needed.'
Are
you feeling stressed?
Stress
isn't always a bad thing. It can make your body produce adrenaline,
the 'fight or flight' hormone which gives you that little
extra bit of drive to overcome nerves and do really well in
a situation.
But
long term, stress can be bad news.
If
you are dealing with a long-term stress, whether it is bullying
or some kind of family problem, your body will react physically
to the pressure of having high levels of stress-related hormones
in your body.
Find
out more about how our bodies react under pressure in the
Stress section of the health section the main c4.com site.
If
you are worried you may be getting stressed, or worried about
a friend, watch out for warning signs like these:
- irritability
- difficulties
sleeping
- going
off your food
- becoming
quiet and withdrawn
- feeling
tired all the time
- stomach
aches or headaches
- finding
it hard to concentrate on school work
- having
difficulty solving problems you usually find easy.
Young
people coping with stress
It may feel like there is nothing you can do when
you are feeling stressed to make yourself feel better. But
there is.
Here
are a few tips from some experts. Give them a try.
Beating
stress
- Think
of your stress as a puzzle to be solved. Work out what situations
make you feel stressed (exams, going to a party, meeting
a new person) and how you behave.
- Think
of different ways you could behave in that situation, so
you would feel more in control.
- Imagine
how other people might behave if you acted differently.
If you seem nervous, for example, they might get nervous
too; if you smile, they will probably smile back.
- Try
rehearsing different ways of behaving - act it out loud
with a friend.
- You
might get it wrong when you try it for real, but not everyone
is right first time. Try it again, next time.
- If
things are getting on top of you, try to find someone to
talk to. It might be your parents, an aunt or uncle, a close
friend, a teacher or the school nurse. If you go to church,
temple, or another place of worship, you could speak to
someone there.
- If
you are having difficulty sleeping or feel tearful and depressed,
you could see your family doctor or practice nurse. They
can put you in touch with specialists who are trained to
deal with young people's problems.
- Check
out Channel 4's Health section of the website for tips
on how to deal with stress in the Stress Gym.
Exam
stress
- Try
to plan your revision time by drawing up a timetable. Build
in time for the things you enjoy - like watching your favourite
TV programme, going out with your friends, or going to play
football in the park.
- Don't
leave your revision to the last minute - cramming will only
make you more stressed out.
- Work
out the best time for you to revise - some people are more
alert in the morning; others study better later in the day.
- Study
in short bursts, rather than long sessions.
- Give
yourself a few treats - pamper yourself with a long hot
bath, or listen to your favourite CD for an hour after you
have finished your revision.
Family
relationships
- Try
to talk to your parents about how you feel. Don't let them
pass the buck to you about choosing which of them you want
to live with.
- Talk
to as many people as possible about what is going on, especially
your friends. Don't bottle it up.
Abusive
situations
- If
you are being bullied or abused physically or sexually,
try to tell an
adult - such as your parents or a teacher you trust.
- You
may decide to tell a friend at first. If you do that, you
should still try to work out how you are going to tell an
adult.
- If
you really don't feel able to tell anyone yet, then keep
a diary. You might find it a therapeutic way of expressing
how you feel. It will also be useful as a record should
you ever take the matter further.
Life
experiences
We've
been there
Leigh,
16, has just decided to leave sixth form college because he
found the work difficult.
'The
biggest stress for me was getting a lot of course work all
at the same time, with the deadlines close together. I've
decided to get a job and do the courses in computing part-time
at my own pace.'
Leigh,
who lives with his mum and grandparents, finds studying hard.
'You go downstairs and they have got the telly on really loud.
You can't get much peace and quiet, especially when you are
trying to study.'
He's
a firm believer in telling someone if you are stressed out
by something. 'Go and see the teachers if you've got problems,'
he says. 'I know everyone says it, but not many people do
it. I did it once when I didn't understand something and ever
since I always talk to them.'
Michelle,
also 16, has just started sixth form college after doing well
in her GCSEs.
'I
got really stressed out waiting for my results. It was quite
scary on the morning, having to wait for them to be posted
up at the school. I couldn't eat any breakfast, although I
did at least sleep the night before. I was quite frightened
about starting a new school. I found it difficult to start
making conversation, but you just had to work at it. It's
weird at the moment. The courses are not what I expected.
It was so easy at school but now it is so much harder. I've
got assignments to do and I panic, especially when I don't
understand what I am supposed to do. But once when that happened,
I asked the teacher, who helped to explain it to me. Then
I was allright.'
Daevid,
nine, feels a bit stressed when he goes to the doctor's.
'I
just get a bit worried when I'm sitting in the chair in the
waiting room. But I just go ahead with it and get it over
with.' His friend Harry does have problems though. 'Sometimes
people are horrible to him and he really freaks out and starts
punching them. He doesn't do it on purpose. Afterwards, he
just can't believe what he has done.'
Sarah,
16, has had problems at home recently.
'I
had a bit of trouble with my dad. He was moaning at me because
he said I wasn't doing enough around the house. He went really
mad, threatening the house wasn't big enough for both of us.
I was really upset, but decided I had to talk to him more
and tell him what was going on in my life. I used to just
talk to my mum and I think he felt left out.'
Get
help
You
can find more about how to cope with stress, get phone numbers
and web addresses from our Stress website - http://www.channel4.com/stress
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