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Parents are good at telling you that you don't need stuff, aren't
they? 'Why do you need another pair of jeans?' Or: 'What do you
do with all your spending money? I got next to nothing and I had
to do a paper round.' Blah, blah, blah, blah. Boring, boring. But have
you ever stopped to really think about whether or not you do actually
want those new £100 shades or £150 jeans just because you've seen
them in a sexy advert, magazine or on a cool friend.
Let's face it, buying all this stuff doesn't make you happy. Once
you buy something it's old and you want something else. Retail therapy
doesn't work. You need to try some other ways of cooling it
and falling in love with the world.
Grin and you'll bear it:
Remember having a laugh. Not getting stoned or drunk, but having
a laugh so you can remember it. It really is a drug. It releases
chemicals into the body that reduce pain and tension.
Or how about breathing. Yes, I know you need to breathe all the
time, but I mean controlled breathing. When you start to get angry
or freaked out, different parts of your body – shoulders, hands,
back – tense and may even start to hurt. Focus your mind on
these areas and breathe slowly in through your nose and out through
your mouth. Try it. You'll realise that it's not so difficult to
get control of your anger as you thought.
Close your eyes and talk:
You can also close the world off and chill by shutting your eyes
and thinking of relaxing colours, such as pale blues. Have you tried
yoga or slow movement exercises? They can help you feel that you
are in more control of yourself and your surroundings by bringing
your body back down to earth. Or listening to your favourite calm
music can help focus your mind on positive thoughts. If it's your
thing, research shows that classical music can do great things for
your brain.
Talking about your feelings to a mate or a relative you trust can
also help. I don't mean a session of slagging off your parents,
but a proper talk about why you feel so pissed off. And as well
as all the touchy-feely stuff, there are all sorts of things that
will do you more good than spending money, buying more stuff and
getting pissed.
You are not alone:
Keeping a diary is another good way to know how and why you feel
the way you do. Try clearing the clutter in your room so you don't
feel as if the world is closing in on you with your parents. And
how about some exercise? It relieves stress and will help you keep
fit as your hormones go through the roof.
Above all, remember that whatever your family is like, you're not
on your own. There is no such thing as a so-called normal family.
About 10% of families are step families. One quarter of
families in Britain are one-parent families. Around 10%
of people in the UK belong to a minority group.
Sources include National Family and Parenting Institute and Parentline
Plus
For further reading, weblinks and people to talk to go to Find out more.
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