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Home | The brat files | Chill-out zone | From adversity to adventure | Find out more
Remember how your own parents used to always be on at you about taking your shoes off when you came home, thinking of your future and worrying about 'what the neighbours think'? Now are you the same?
Whatever happened to the old care-free you, the person who would do crazy things on the spur of the moment and curse the consequences? Well, yes, children came along and stopped all that. But now you're up tight and all stressed and it's grinding down you and your children. Does the real you hide behind consumables?
Sofa so good?
You may have a nice car or stylish sofa, but it ain't going to change your life. It's a vicious cycle. You are unhappy with your relationship with your teenager, so you try some retail therapy. Then you get obsessed with your children not sullying your new sofa with their couldn't-care-less behaviour and you are back to square one. It won't work. You need to try some other forms of serious therapy.
Have you tried yoga or slow movement exercises? They can help you feel that you are more in control of yourself and your surroundings by bringing your body back down to earth. Or, how about thinking of a favourite, relaxing colour? It may sound silly, but research has shown that it can calm you down, as well as aid concentration and memory.
Musical meditation
Music can also help calm you down. Yes, I know the bloody noise your children play does anything but relax you, but studies have shown that the music you like can calm you and even help you concentrate. If it's a bit more up beat, why not try dancing to it or playing a bit of air guitar? It all helps you let off steam.
After you've built up a sweat dancing round your living room singing your heart out or playing your pretend guitar to an imaginary capacity crowd in Hyde Park you may need a shower. Well, don't do it. For relaxation, few things can beat soaking in a warm bath until your skin becomes like a prune.
Chat and sniff
Aromatherapy can also help ease away the stress of parenthood. Add a drop or two of an essential oil such as chamomile to your bath and breathe a sigh of relief. Talking of breathing, when you feel yourself about to blow a fuse, try some deep breathing – in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Don't forget, simply talking to a friend can be great therapy and, apart from all the touchy-feely stuff, there are the basics.
Exercise and diet.
Cut the calories, sugars and E-numbers. Above all, remember that whatever your family is like, you're not on your own. There is no such thing as a so-called normal family. About 10% of families are step families and about a quarter are one-parent families.
Sources include National Family and Parenting Institute and Parentline Plus
For further reading, weblinks and organisations go to Find out more.
Think you know better? Are you a teenager and think you can sort out other people's parents? Get a word in edgeways on the forum.
See also: Cool it – for teenagers and Bullying – the facts
Ever needed advice without the bullshit? You need our guide to how to cool it. Simply, download the pdf file and cut round the dotted line
Next time you find yourself reaching for your credit card for some retail therapy, make sure you can find our guide to how to calm your karma. Simply, download the pdf file and cut round the dotted line.
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