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Home | The brat files | Chill-out zone | Who cares? | From adversity to adventure | Find out more
Most people associate domestic violence with men attacking their partners at home, but it also covers children assaulting their parents, as described on Brat Camp. The figures are daunting. Domestic violence accounts for 16% of all violent crime, according to the Home Office.
Shockingly, the domestic violence figures do not tell the whole story because this crime is notoriously under reported. There are an average of 35 assaults before a victim calls the police and the crime has more repeat victims than any other offence. It claims the lives of two women each week and costs in excess of £23 billion a year.
Shamed into tortured silence
Victims, who are often scared of their abusers and ashamed of their family situations, are frequently reluctant to go to the police. There can be few family problems more difficult to reveal to the outside world than a son or daughter attacking his or her parent.
As if this were not enough, another form of abuse lies behind the figures and is reported even less frequently. Shouting at or taunting a person can lead victims to severe stress, depression and even suicide.
A desperate way out
Verbal or physical abuse is all bullying and the abusers destroy other people's lives. Often one type of abuse leads to another, once there is no more respect left in a relationship. Verbal abuse can lead to threats of violence, which then lead to actual violence, experts explain. Even though it is awkward, experts advise victims of bullying to seek help as soon as possible. The longer the bullying continues, the worse it can become and the harder it may be to stop it.
Bullying is always serious. About 16 children kill themselves every year in the UK after bullying distress, according to figures from the charity Bullying Online. The horror of bullying is clear, even if there are no similar figures for parents suffering abuse at the hands of their children.
Help is never far away
A relationship without respect is self destructive of itself and the people involved in it, including the abuser. As an abuser's bullying intensifies, he or she is likely to feel more and more isolated from the outside world and particularly the victim of the abuse, whether he or she is the mother, father or partner.
It makes no sense for a person to bully his or her loved ones and this sort of abuse is unreasonable and irrational. Bullies may need psychological or medical help to halt their abuse and come to terms with their feelings of anger and hate. Before an explosive situation gets out of control it is advisable to seek the advice of your GP as well as one of the many abuse-related advice groups.
Sources include Bullying Online and Victim Support
For further reading, weblinks, organisations and helplines go to Find out more.
Think you know better? Are you a teenager and think you can sort out other people's parents? Get a word in edgeways on the forum.
See also: Calm karma – for parents and Cool it – for teenagers
Ever needed advice without the bullshit? You need our guide to how to cool it. Simply, download the pdf file and cut round the dotted line
Next time you find yourself reaching for your credit card for some retail therapy, make sure you can find our guide to how to calm your karma. Simply, download the pdf file and cut round the dotted line.
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