Children grow up very quickly, and can face difficult situations before they're mature enough to cope. How can parents help if teens have sex-related problems or are putting themselves at risk?

Pushing the limits is all part of being a teenager – and worrying about what kids are getting up to is normal for most parents. If you're lucky, they won't be doing anything risky, but sometimes a child becomes anxious, or is even being exposed to danger. That's when parents have the hard task of offering help to a teenager who doesn't even want to talk.

Risking disease and pregnancy through unprotected sex
Suggest they visit websites like Brook or the fpa, or download leaflets about contraception for them yourself. Provide condoms, or offer to go with your teenager to a clinic.

If your daughter or son's girlfriend is pregnant, stay calm and try to talk. Ultimately it is up to the young woman to decide what to do next. Tell her where she can get help (see Resources) and offer to go with her. You can get support for yourself from Parentline Plus.

Taking drugs or drinking heavily
Kids who get very drunk or high on drugs are more likely to have unprotected sex while they're not in control of themselves. If you know, or suspect, that your teenager is taking drugs or getting drunk, don't panic. Talk to them about the risks they run of things going wrong, but make sure they know that even if you're angry, you will help them. You can both get support from organisations like Frank and Alcohol Concern. Excessive drinking or drug-taking could be a response to other problems where you might need to take action, either at home or at school.

Coming out as gay / lesbian / bisexual
For some parents, discovering that their child is homosexual or bisexual is very difficult. Your child may also have been struggling to come to terms with his or her sexuality. You can get help from Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (FFLAG), an organisation offering help to parents and children who are finding it hard to understand each other.

Finding it impossible to talk
If you do nothing but argue with your teen, you could consider having family counselling or therapy, or taking a course aimed at parents of teens. If your child seems particularly withdrawn, they may be suffering from depression for which you could seek help. Are there other family problems? If you and your partner are separating, National Family Mediation or Relate family counselling may be able to help the whole family.

For more information on all the above organisation, see Find out more.