A mother of 4, London
While I agree with the need for comprehensive sex education for young people, and that in today's climate it perhaps needs to be started younger, I was unhappy with the way the show recommended it be presented. Sex has been reduced to the status of a recreational sport. All the power, mystique and romanticism which should be part of a mature loving sexual relationship have been lost. I found the Dutch cartoons crude (they would have been better off using the sort of drawings found in Comfort’s 'Joy of Sex' – at least these were aesthetically pleasing). The disastrous effects of promiscuity – sex and people being reduced to the status of a commodity – are not addressed, only the unfortunate consequences of STIs and unwanted pregnancy. And these teenagers are not really being given real choices as there is only one message – have safe sex when you feel ready. What about the equally valid choice of abstinence until you are older and in a long term, stable relationship? I also wondered, do we really need to teach children how to masturbate and engage in oral and anal sex? Is there no room for instinct and the joy of discovery in sex any more? And is it right to be teaching children as young as four, about homosexuality? We are all so afraid of being labelled homophobic that we have failed to address the very real medical risks of anal sex and at the very least young people should be warned of these. Furthermore, I question whether it is morally right and responsible to be teaching children that the homosexual life style is equally desirable to the heterosexual one, when all evidence shows that the best environment for bringing up children is by their male and female biological parents within a committed relationship. The family is being undermined, and this sort of amoral sex education programme will only serve to hasten its decline.
Alexandra 17, Cheshire
I watched your show this morning called "99 ways to lose your Virginity". It was so interesting. I am a 17 year old girl and my mother is a nurse so my sex education has always been quite constant at home. I do remember being in primary school and having about three lessons on "the basics" then nothing until I was in at least year 10, there were girls already having sex by then.
I am with someone at the moment and have been with them for almost three years. We both waited for the right moment before actually having sex and I think it is so important that we make sure young children and teenagers alike all get given the correct education in and out of school.
I really like the way that sex education is taught by the Dutch. I think it is an excellent way to make sure that everything is covered and that people know that talking about sex is nothing to be ashamed of. I think we need to rethink our ways of educating teenagers in England about sex fast or else we could have a real problem on our hands.
Heather, 15
I have been on study leave this week and i watched let's talk sex and i thought it was great. In my school we do 2 lessons a year in PHSE on sex education and we just learn what the slang words mean and that's about it, we don't get taught about relationships, emotions or the good sides to sex. I think the Dutch have got a brilliant way in showing younger and older children about sex and relationships. I have a younger brother and he has been coming home from school asking about sex and my mum hasn't really known what to say so I've told him but i think schools should definitely take note on how the Dutch do things and I think the government should re-think their sex education stratagies. I know so many teenagers under the age of 16 who have got pregnant and dropped out of school and i don't think this is right. I think the programme was amazing and just what Britain needed to see ... Well done Davina and Channel 4
Samantha, Birmingham
I think that you made a great programme and it does bring some situations to light. I think that sex education in schools should be increased as in my school we didn't get told anything we only got told about puberty.
Lynda
I am a youth worker and your programme just blew me away. I totally agree with everything you said and everything you are trying to do to bring the subject to the attention of the educational bodies and the public. Congratulations on your excellent programme.
Becky
I am a primary school teacher and was fortunate enough to be ill from work, so that I saw Davina's programme. I believe the dutch education system has got it right. Teaching the children about sex and relationships before they become sexually inquisitive is definitely the way forward. Teaching year 6 children (10/11 yr olds) I have to teach sex education and find the current programme of study very misguiding and misinformative. We have a questions box that the children can anomyously ask questions about sex. The children ask questions such as 'What is a blow job?' 'What is masturbation?' At first, I was shocked to be asked these questions by such young children, but it is evident that the children hear these words and are just being inquisitive. They are not intending to go away and practice what they have learnt. Surely by teaching them the facts at a young age, they do not need to go out and experiment and follow peer pressure at an older age.
I was so moved by this programme, that I would like to see it aired in the evening for everyone to see it. I went away and discussed the programme in detail with my friends and the general consensus was that early sex and relationship education could only be a good thing. We all wished we had that chance. Our younger generation can have the chance if we are willing to move forward and stop being embarassed by what is a natural part of adult life.
Denise, Leicester
From some of the comments on here, you would be forgiven for thinking that
Britain might be a nation of prudes who are too afraid to talk sex, yet pick up a
teenage magazine, or leave your kids in front of the TV
for a few minutes after the watershed - and see what's really being taught!
This programme was completely biased and totally missed the point. The reason
why Dutch youngsters fare so well compared to British youngsters is because
they have much stronger, more stable two-parent families who provide the stability
and security they need. The youngsters need love and a sense of belonging so
that they don't find their sense of identity some place else. A few lessons in putting
condoms on bananas isn't the reason why there is a lower rate of teen pregnancies
and STIs. Get real! Saying Dutch sex ed is entirely responsible for this is a gross
misuse of the wealth of other information out there. On the contrary, there is already
too much information in this country about how to have sex, and not enough on
how to abstain. We give out Pills as though they are sweets, promote contraception
over chastity and frown on criticising homosexuality whilst at the same time we
have allowed virginity to become a word that's almost taboo. Any youngster who
wants sex knows exactly where to go to get support - but there is no support
outside of the churches for those who are asexual or simply want to wait until
marriage before being force-fed all the lessons such as those advocated in this
typically secular Channel 4 propaganda piece.
Martin, 39
My sex education at school was lamentable. While I fully agree with the position taken by the programmes, i.e. sex and relationship education in Britain needs to be compulsory and start much earlier than it does now, I felt the programme exhibited far too much timidity in going after the real culprits for the terrible teen pregnancy and STI statistics we face.
Apart from one side-swipe at the tabloid press, the unspoken criticism here was at religion in general and Islam in particular. The poor minister was trying very hard not to be seen to agree with first the youngsters and then Davina as she knew she would be castigated by certain press commentators and vocal but unrepresentative religious groups if she did.
I felt a much more useful exercise than dredging up the rather confused 'anti' mum from Bath would have been to confront the said commentators and religious groups with the ridiculousness of their position – that telling young people more about a subject will encourage them to go out and practise it. I fear that Channel 4 were worried about:
i) the image of having someone like Davina laying into (say) a middle-aged imam on this subject and how ridiculous that would make him look
ii) Opening the can of worms that is separate state-funded Catholic education as a political issue – the Catholic hierarchy would have to be seen to be not allowing condom instruction in schools they partially sponsor (though most Catholics, myself included, regard the church position on artificial contraception as contradictory and completely bankrupt). A much more serious issue with the Catholic laity would be the casual attitude displayed by the programme to the 'morning-after' pill and abortion – perhaps something instructive would have been talking to religious leaders from the Netherlands about how this circle is squared over there?
iii) The scheduling of the programme also suggested that we didn't want too many people watching it in case we end up with another incident like 'Jerry Springer – The Opera', where a broadcaster is the target of a small but well organised and highly motivated religious hate group.
This was a pity. It is high time this issue was faced up to by the country as a whole and our young people's lives not held hostage by groups wanting everyone to live in a world that bears little relation to the real one.
Congratulations on an excellent series of programmes.
Misty, 17, Ohio
Hi my name Misty from Ohio and I want to let teenagers know what sex can do. I'm 17 with two kids I had my first at 14 and it was so hard. The dad he was never there I was too young to get a job. I only got 70 a month to take care of him. When I had my baby girl i was 16 so i never could be a teenager my friends never want to hang out with someone with kids. Now i just wish i would have waited don't get me wrong i love my babies with all my life. But I'm
17 with two kids and live on my own pay bills make sure they got everything they need. Do you know how long it's been since I paid to get me something. I work at Wendys and I do school at home online. Look the thing i'm really trying to say is that sex can only lead to two things: STD and a baby. And belive me stay young cause you only get to be a teenager once and you don't want to lose that. I am in my house all day with a two year old boy and a 8 month baby girl. I don't get to go out or hang out with friends. I got a job to do now and that's to be the best mom I can be. Just wait to have sex please you have no clue how hard it is. And don't think it couldn't happen to you because it could. I'm sorry but i just don't want anyone going though the same thing. My baby sister is 15 and she is having a baby in July by a 14 year old boy. What is she going to do. Think about that if you do get pregnant WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
Seloua
I have seen the program about the Dutch experience, I was shocked, I believe that knowledge about sex is good but not so explicit as the Dutch are presenting it. I believe that children should know about sex and what are the consequences, it is true that it is an enjoyable experience, but are they responsible enough to become a parent and give a secure and safe life for a child. Humans are not like animals where the most important thing is to have pleasure and reach their orgasm. one has to love the other to have sex, yes but what is next. is it a pleasure for one day, but what if a result will be a child, is it fair that this child can not have a normal life, having a mum and dad. is it the most important thing to have protected sex to avoid any disease or having children. we should teach our children to be responsible and think before they act, not being selfish and acting like animals, apology even animals take care if their little ones. most teenagers think more about love and sex than finishing their studies and building up their future. instead of looking at the Dutch experience it is preferable to ask our grandma and granddad how at their time people had sex once married and why having sex before marriage was forbidden and compare between that time and the time we are living now. thank you very much
Craig
I felt compelled to write after watching two of the programmes repeated on S4C this morning and previously.
I am now a 26 year old gay man who struggled all the way through school with my sexuality, i felt un-natural etc and the sex education and relationship lessons did nothing to help that. I feel that I was not given any support in my relationships because nothing that was discussed was relevant to me.
I feel very strongly that the government needs to act now so that the results can be felt in a decade's time. It seems to me that when I was a teenager the subject was so taboo that you had to have a go, if it was more out in the open it wouldn't be such an exciting thing that you wouldn't feel that rebellious need.
I understand that parents would have fears about it but at the end of the day something has to be done now, teenage pregnancy is a dreadful thing for the parents and child, the government in this country is always terrified to take any steps, for God's Sake let's get a government with some guts. They are letting the children of Britain down.
I must confess I found the video shown in Holland quite strong, but couldn't help but notice the maturity in the dutch children whilst ours were giggling with embarrasment because us Brits can't talk about it.
Congratulations on a fantastic programme, brilliantly put across by the programme's presenter, Davina McCall.
Vicky, Surrey
I am so heartened looking through the many responses to Davina’s excellent programme that there is an absolute minority of respondents who did not agree with the content. I am a nurse who has specialised in Contraception & Sexual Health work, both in community clinics and for many years working in our local schools as part of the Personal Social Health Education programme, and have always approached the work with teenagers as a privilege and have tried in the one session I have with them, to talk about all the topics I know others will not mention such as alternatives to sexual intercourse: mutual masturbation; fears around same sex attraction; acknowledging powerful influences such as pressure from the media and peer groups, and importantly highlighting their rights to a confidential contraceptive and sexual health service if and when they might need it. This can be discussed with some real life scenarios which are very powerful, and also with humour. Unfortunately not all schools in the country allow such input, and PSHE can be used for many other subjects which might give little importance to sex and relationship education.
I have found it very frustrating that the Dept for Education & Skills will not make SRE compulsory, which allows many misguided schools to continue to just not talk about sex because 'it will encourage them to try it'. The work of Viv Crouch (school nurse in Bath) is to be applauded and should be held up as a model service to be emulated, as in my experience the timely availability of Emergency Contraception in schools is virtually zero. We need some champions to work with our teenagers who are not frightened in an emergency to put their head above the parapet; I have on one occasion had to meet with a 16 year old girl outside of school to give her emergency contraception in my car, as the school would not allow me to see her inside their premises! Long way to go; but this programme is a start! Well done Davina and Channel 4.
Janice, 25
well done channel 4. it's about time someone stood up and told this country what a state it is in. i went to a local catholic high school, where our sex education class consisted of a biological explanation of conception and nothing of contraception. i was well educated by my older brother who worked with an A.I.D.S. charity. i remember doing a class talk for english when i was 15 yrs old. the talk to last a min of 5 mins, i spoke for 20 about hiv aids and other sti's. at the end, i spent a further 20 mins answering questions from not only my uneducated classmates, but my uneducated teacher as well. this whole country needs to step back and chill out. if our kids learn about sex and relationships young, there will be no mystery surrounding it, and teenagers will be less in need of 'finding out the hard way'. i say make sre compulsary in all schools, from age 5 and in 20 yrs we'll have a teenage pregnancy and sti rate to be less ashamed of.
Sarah, 25, Tenterden, Kent
im a 25 year old mum and find the idea of sex education to start early a great idea and can't belive it has taken so long for people to realize there is a problem in schools regarding this. i have been watching the programme every morning as i am a stay at home mum, now i am really dreading the time my daughter comes to go to school as i fear there will be no knowledge of proper education regarding 'real life'.
relationships are what everyone will experience at one time in their life not just sex. by the stats shown i'm appalled that that has not put a rocket up the arsses of the government to promte EARLY CONSISTENT and COMPULSORY sex education.
this progamme and advice has amazed me that much that i'm inquiring to train and hopefully become a sex ed independant teacher where i will have constant contact with my surrounding schools to visit and give real facts and advice and hands on practicals on all relationships, sex and activities.
good luck with all my support
Amanda
I think children should be given compulsory sex education in schools. Children do not feel that they can talk to their parents, which is a shame but they should have this information from somewhere. They should not be made to feel that it is wrong but that it is a part of life. This should not be a taboo subject and should be taught as a weekly lesson to make sure this message is loud and clear. I am a mother of three young children under 5 years old and would be happy for my children to recieve whatever information about relationships and sex, obviously in simple terms at first as necessary, to help them be safe in the future.
Stuart Cunliffe, Manchester
In Holland there are better family relationships, fewer broken marriages, fewer one-parent families and pregnant girls do not get benefits and a council flat. It isn't just about sex education. Sex education in Holland is not uniform. Were we taken to an average school, or one where explicit sex education is the norm?
It is true teenage pregnancy figures here are sky high. More sex education is not the answer. Does it not occur to people that when sex education was scarce there were fewer pregnancies and now that there has never been more sex education teenage pregnancies have never been higher? Sex education should be appropriate to the child's age, given within a moral framework, and not simply instructing the child how to have sex. There is no such thing as safe sex. No contraceptive is 100% effective and contraceptives, including condoms, are not proof against catching sexual disease.
There are people in this country today who want to destroy marriage, make sex a free-for-all, and who are happy to see children having sex. The correct place for sex is within marriage. Children should not be having sex. For children, abstinence is the answer.
Lina
What an eye opener!!!
Is there going to be a petition presented to the Government requesting sex education to be made compulsory? I will be the first one to sign it!!!
Excellent programme!
Maria, Cardiff
I was lucky to catch your programme ‘let’s talk sex’. What a well put together presentation of the case for following a Dutch style model for sex education. Is it possible to re-run the series at peak adult viewing time, as so many people will have missed this due to work? As a school Governor, I believe the potential for Governors to run this programme for the parents of their school students, would be a great way of getting the level of support necessary to make positive changes. This programme would provide much needed factual information for parents let alone children. It will assist their decision making to help keep our kids safer, with more life choices. This is the media at its best.
Emma, Burton on Trent
I caught the show by accident and was really impressed by it. Davina and Channel 4 have done a great job of highlighting the poor sex education that we get from our British schools. The Dutch really have got a much better system in place to advise their children and to make them think that sex is something normal that can be discussed openly. I am struggling with my 10 year old to find the right words and would welcome help from her school. This is an issue that isn't going to go away and needs tackling at the highest level. Sex education needs to be government legislated the way our English and Maths is. We need guidance for schools and we need more time being spent on it.
Emilie, 26
I believe I was lucky as a child on sex education, because my mum would answer all my questions.
Yet others in my years at school managed to get pregnant as young as 14/15yrs and one who was 12yrs.
Only because it was a taboo subject and had to find out for themselves the hard way. I hope I will be as open with my children, when I have them, as my mum was with me.
Yes please, make sex education conpulsory
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