Pat
Excellent series. Well done. Please continue pressing for better sex education in our schools. I am a grandmother who believes this can't be taught early enough. Keep up the pressure on the Government. Well done Holland!! And Davina.
Hayley, 17
i lost my virginity at 15. i was one of the lucky ones who could go to my parents, well my mum, my dad was embarrassed to talk about it. I had a brief 'growing up' talk in year 6, basicaly about the in's and out's of puberty and periods, which my mum had already told me and i'd say in more detail than the nurse at school. then the same talk at the end of year 7, we got given a package with sanitary towles and tampons, for me that was too late, end of year 6 was too late, we need to be told about our bodies from day one of year 1 maybe 2.
i started secondary had a repeat talk with the nurse like year 6, the next talk we had was year 10. well i know for a fact that some people had had intercourse already or were thinking about it. this talk in year 10 even then, was to me a waste, putting a condom on a model penis, yes that's good to know, then she TOLD us of the different STDs, condoms, risks, but nothing to do with the good and emotional side. pardon! we need leaflets to read through, we forget it by the end of the day, clubs, like the youth clubs in holland! well done Davina, channel 4 and the dutch government, i agree with the dutch government. we DO need to know at a younger age, i have friends that can't talk to their parents about sexual aspects of life so they come to us that can or even to my mum, school are not doing enough, yet they go absolutly mad when they have teenage pregnacies on their hands, well, what do they expect if we don't get taught about STDs and the risks, and the emotional sides to sex and relationships. as for the whole thing about parents going to the papers because a school is teaching 'the dutch way' simple answer is, do a swwepstake questionaire, or send them to the schools to get the schools to send them to parents finding out if the majority agree with davina and the three schools featured.
come on England it's 2006 not 1906
Grimalkin, Birmingham
Great to see a programme exploring this issue so openly - well done C4!
I find it shocking that the government are so blind not only to the obvious benefits of compulsory sexual education in schools (reinforced by the fine example being set by the Dutch), but also to the views of the general public.
This short-sighted, bury-head-in-sand attitude is typical of the British reserve about sexuality. If the kids now in schools become open, honest and informed about sexuality then as well as being able to form meaningful sexual relationships in a proper context and with proper precautions, they will have less problems talking to their own children about sex in years to come.
I remember sex ed at school being a clumsy few lessons tacked onto the biology syllabus when I was 11, delivered by a teacher who was clearly totally embarrassed by the subject, and the material covered seemed to have nothing at all to do with the world of sexuality that I was slowly becoming aware of through the tangle of misinformation that plagued the school playground. It was cool to know about sex, but uncool to ask about it. So everyone pretended they knew it all when probably no one really knew anything. I would much rather spare future generations that horrible embarrassment, and maybe that will make puberty - possibly the most difficult transitional period anyone ever goes through - a little easier for them.
Children need to know about sex before they start having sex, and, as Davina pointed out in the programme, school is the one place where we know they all go. Obvious really, innit? :)
Lisa, 31
Having recently had time off work through illness I stumbled across Let's Talk Sex while flicking channels. The statistics of pregnancies and STIs in this country are frightening! I am a teaching assistant in a primary school and have two daughters aged 10 and 7. My 10 year old has recently started sex education and says the boys in particular giggle, snigger and mess about, this is obviously because they are embarrassed. If they had sex and relationship education from an early age it wouldn't be such a taboo and cause children such embarrassment. This in turn would make them more relaxed about sex and not feel pressure from their peers to 'experiment' at an early age. Before seeing the programme I was against giving primary age children sex and relationship education, I felt they were too young. Now I feel it is the only way forward for our children. The more inormation and knowledge our children have will enable them to make sensible and safe choices as they grow up. It will also help them to understand and deal with the changes in their body as they go through puberty. I feel this programme needs to be shown in the evening too as many parents and teachers will have been at work during the day, the more people that see it will, I'm sure, provide more support to the campaign.
Penny
I have been watching the program all week and I am astounded by the difference in the sex education taught in England and in Holland. I believe Holland have got the right idea.
I have 2 children myself - a boy who is 6 and a girl who is nearly 1.
I have already explained to my 6 year old how babies are conceived and born and he was happy with my explanation. I was as honest as I could be.
I feel he would understand and benefit from the way Holland teaches their children.
I was appalled by the Government's views on the situation.
I hope the program opens more people's eyes and it should be re-shown after working hours so more parents can benefit and join in the battle to improve the sex education in schools.
Paul
Your report has touched me deeply and I am 100% behind the drive to make sex/relationship complusory in schools, starting in early education and include it on the National Curriculum to ensure consistency.
Like so many, I thought it was already complusory and am appalled at the lacklustre attitude by those at the top of such issues. The UK is already beset by problems arrising from the lack of adequate attention to sex education and Holland has certainly proven there is a way out. It is incredible that we ignore the clear examples set for us by our bold neighbours.
Change is required NOW, for all our sakes and to ensure that the future generations have more clued up and responsible parenting.
Perhaps Davina may be the next Jamie Oliver, leading us into the halls of government to champion a cause that we all have such a vital stake in. At least, I am for my part going to encourage my friends and colleagues to lobby their MPs. It would also help the cause if Channel Four could air the program at peak viewing times so that more parents (and students) can join the debate.
Matt
Well done Davina for highlighting such a sensitive issue so well. I totally agree with Davina’s 3 prong approach Early, Consistent and Compulsory.
Why was this programme shown at 10.20 am in the week? It needs to be repeated on prime time tv so that a wider audience can view it, parents and teens. Strong petitioning needs to take place to ensure that changes are made. I thought the comments the MP made were appalling, change things now so that we can see changes sooner rather than later.
My son is 8 and started the junior school last September, he repeats things the older children have said and mimics suggestive body language, I know we can't prevent this, but by educating early, at least children would understand what things meant and not to be embarrassed or confused about sex.
Sex Ed in my school was good, albeit short and sweet, however, I had a very open mum, but most of my friends couldn't talk to their parents. I would be keen to show my children the video used in Holland when the time came.
Anon
Come on channel 4 what are you playing at. You need to give this programme a prime time slot and the same support as Jamie's school dinners. Then we may actually see some changes happening. If the Government see the amount of support for this issue then they may stop being afraid of changing things.
Children find out about sex from either their peers or from teachers who have been forced to have it on their timetable, and whose knowledge is in geography or maths not sex Ed. It is the blind leading the blind in both cases. Sex education needs to be taught by specialist teachers in school as part of the curriculum.
Sex is a natural and important part of everyone's life and yet it is treated with embarrassment. This issue is not about giving out contraception it is about letting young people make informed decisions when they are ready. Perhaps if children were less embarrassed to talk about sex they may also feel less embarrassed to admit they are not ready yet and feel confident in their decision to wait instead of feeling pressured to have sex just because they think everyone else is doing it.
Kathy
I am 20 years old and had one child when i was 17 and one last December. I totally agree with Davina that sex education should be taught better in schools. I didn't know about STDs untill i was about 17. This was because i was home taught by my mother who didn't know how to talk to me about it. When I was in infants I didn't know anything. I started my periods before we were given a talk on periods which was at 11 years old. I think they should teach our kids before they get too old and start having sex. They will then have the information needed about pregancies and STDs before they have sex. Most kids these days are having sex at a young age so I agree that they should have the C card and the one for The Pill. If they are going to do it they are better off safe then sorry.
Rhona, 34
I am a single mother with a 10 year old daughter. My daughter has been taught by myself the awareness of sexual relations Heterosexual/Bi-sexual/Homosexual..... My reasoning behind my methods is simple, I believe that if someone is knowledgeable about things, they make educated decisions rather than random ones, which also teaches them respect for themselves and others via the thought process. I made the decision to speak openly about sex with my daughter when she came home from school at the age of 6 asking "what is a gay mummy". At the age of 7 a girl at school graphically told my daughter what a 69 was, she was disgusted and vowed never to have sex. This made me very upset, so I sat her down and discussed with her the various forms of making love and why we do it. We also discussed the consequences of disrespecting the act of love making. She is due to start Senior school in September this year and I can quite confidently say my daughter is fully armed and aware. We have a very healthy relationship, our rule is "as far as discussions go nothing is taboo" I am a mother first and a friend second. I believe that sex education should be on the curriculum in all schools from the age of 6. Not all parents can be open with their children, which creates an ignorance amongst the teenagers of today, resulting in high percentages of STDs and unwanted pregnancies.
Gary
I watched this programme with real fascination and I have to say I was in total agreement with Davina. This led me to begin a discussion on the topic which you can see by following this link...
www.vegetablerevolution.com/forum/YaBB.pl?board=main;action=display;num=1143027449
It's quite interesting to read the views of other young people on that website.
Filiz, 30
I am a mother of 4 children. All my children go to school from nursery to secondary education. I watched the program today presented by Davina. She was protesting how important and serious sex education is on her program but to me it seemed like she didn't believe what she was supporting. The way she was talking to the goverment official like she's her best buddy and saying that the goverment official is agreeing with her but isn't admitting it is just not on. Basically she's trying to say forget the parents, do what i want. I think she is doing this for a laugh and let me tell her it's no joking matter. She interviewed 5 people that agree and came up with the statistics of 95% of the public agreeing with her. If these are how statistic are made I'm afraid I will not be believing in statistics anymore! I believe in educating our children enough to make them aware of the health issues and unwanted pregnancies. But I do not agree with the sort of education which I saw on the program. I believe =the goverment is doing what's right for our children, that's why I have been giving consent previously to sex education, but this program has made me think about what they are learning in these lessons, and I will investigate. if I find this is what sex education is in the schools now, I will not give consent to this sort of education. Children aren't stupid, when it comes to having sex believe me they will know how to put on a condom. It's more important to teach them that it must be put on and why, rather then how to put it on.
What is it going to come next? Showing them how to do it? To me this is abusing and opening a pathway to abuse children. Nobody has the right to abuse my children. If Davina wants, she can hire a private sex education teacher for her own children, please leave my children alone. There are so many other things that our children need to learn in schools that are lacking like respect, disipline, manners, hygiene, etc. Another thing to remmember is sex is not a subject on its own. With it comes relationships, love, affection etc. Other people believe in religion, family life etc. Sex becoming the norm is just going to encourage youngsters to go around sleeping with each other more I don't see how it's going to help the situation. For some people that might be just fine but the majority of parents care for their children and that's not what they want their children to be doing. Basically I do not agree on compulsory education, I as a parent have a responsiblity to protect my children if neccesary.
Rebecca, Ridgway
I was very impressed with the work that Davina did with the school. I hope that she follows in the footsteps of Jamie Oliver and really makes a differece because it is an area of real concern. I am currently studying for a degree in Socilogy and when the issue of STIs came up in one lecture i was so shocked at the amount of students who knew nothing about STIs and how important it is to be checked on a regular basis, (these students were in their late teens early twenties!!!!). Is there a way in which everyone can get involved with pushing this issue forward because i would be interested in taking part. Thanks for taking the time to read my comments.
Sam, 18
I would just like to say that programs like this are needed to raise eyebrows because it is the only way people will listen.
I am 18 years old and have lived with my grandfather since I was a baby so sex education was the last thing he wanted to discuss with me, I think the most we said to each other was when i needed money for "ladies things" as he would call them.
I was not taught anything at school apart from periods! Because of this I found myself experimenting at the age of 14 and ended up pregnant because of my lack of knowledge, then i went through a termination which is highly distressing at 14. These things need to be taught otherwise this will keep happening for years and years to come. I know that I will teach my children when I choose to have kids.
All the things i know are from things i have bought and read or looked up and there is still confusion on some bits!
I'm all for early sex and relationship learning at a young age.
Thanks for your program
Tam, 17
the programm is such an eye opener, it realy brings the problems to a head. the fact that schools in britain basically do close to no sex education for teenagers between the ages of 11 and 16 is rediculous, we all know parents like to think their children will be little angels forever but they won't and if they feel they can't talk to parents about problems or interests then schools have to be the next best thing! i'm 17 years old and lost my virginity at the age of 14, manly because i was curious and was too embarrassed to talk to my mum, and in nearly 10 years of education i only remember receiving 2 lessons on sex and relationships, 1 was when i was in yr 6 and all we talked about was periods and love, and 1 when i was in year 10 and we put a condom on a dildo and talked about stds. not nearly enough info...
Jackie
I am a semi-retired teacher of primary age children. I caught the programme quite by chance while at the gym. What an eye-opener it is. It should be compulsory viewing for all concerned with children and young people. It seems that there is a need for a campaign to push the government into following the marvellous example of the Dutch, to make the same sort of education a normal event in every school.
Maisie, 25, Kidderminster
Well done for highlighting the sex issue ... I feel passionately that current sex education in the UK is wholly inadequate. We are bombarded with sexual images in the media, making it impossible to hide it away from our children, and burying our heads in the sand is not an option.
I am a mother of a daughter age 5 and a son age 15 months. I really enjoyed the series and I have always been honest with my daughter when she asks me anything, (although I haven't had the really tricky questions yet).
She knows about periods and that babies are made when mummies and daddies are in love, and anything she wants to know I am happy to tell her. I want her and my son to be respectful and knowledgeable about everything and to be strong enough to make their own decisions when the time comes, whether it be about religion, drugs or sex.
I had 1 lesson that I can remember at school about sex and pregnancy but nothing about relationships or homosexuality.
I waited until I was in a strong relationship before I lost my virginity, I was 16 when I did, and I am still with the same person now ... but I was strong enough to tell him when I was ready and not feel pressured. Lots of young people are not strong enough to say no, especially when everyone around them is already at it, they don't want to be left behind.
The fact is that it is a natural thing to do, even people who have NEVER been introduced to sex in any way (if they exist) have the instinct to do it ... it's called procreation, and it's entirely natural, after all that's why we are here, it's every living thing's strongest urge after breathing!!!
It's fantastic that the Dutch can be so open about sex, and let's face it, it is an inevitable step that everyone will take at some point, so surely the best thing to do is teach children that it is a natural thing to do, but there are risks and the best way to protect themselves when they do ... it just seems so OBVIOUS!!! Come on government, make it compulsory!!!!
Sian, 17
When I was at school the closest we got to sex education were graphic videos of childbirth that made me want to faint. This is all I remember of it anyway and obviously, this was not a useful exercise, although it did discourage me from wanting to ever give birth! I think a change in education is vital. I am lucky that my Mum wasn't embarrassed about my questions, but many parents are. I can appreciate it is hard for Britain to accept that its children have sex at mind blowing ages of 13 and 14, but it is something you cannot escape from and something that needs to be addressed. If you think about it, it is natural for people of this age to have sex as they are beginning to change physically to enable them to reproduce. I am not suggesting that having children at such young ages is acceptable, but it is happening. Watching the interview with the member of the government who seemed so reluctant to change the system it appeared to me she was so against it because of the amount of work it would take. There are some parents out there who would rather their children did not have sex education, but parents do not always know best. It is an attractive option to close your eyes and pretend your children are still as innocent as when they were born, but they need to be equipped to cope with the outside world. My boyfriend is still pretty uninformed about contraception and it is left up to me to explain a lot of things to him and we're 17! His parents have never spoken to him about sex and he hasn't been told by anyone else either. It is shocking that people have to learn so much by doing when it comes to sex, not to mention dangerous. You can die from STIs; I wonder how many 13 year olds know that.
Sex education was an embarrassing time for everyone involved. All the kids were giggling because they were nervous in case they were asked questions they didn’t know the answers to, or in case they were laughed at. Being in a classroom situation at such a late stage in life (year 10, age 14 – 15) being told about sex for the first time is not comfortable. I propose we take away the classroom, the teacher that the pupils don’t relate to, the embarrassment. I don’t know how you could go about teaching children under the age of 10 about sex, as I can’t remember what it was like to be this age. But I know that putting a small group of ten year olds in a comfortable room with an informed teenager, as opposed to a 40-year-old embarrassed teacher stood in front of rows of chairs and desks, would be somewhat more effective than what happens now. I know that many of my friends, including myself, would be happy to talk to people younger than us who wanted to ask questions about our experiences...
Lorraine, 44, Kent I switched this programme on by chance whilst off sick from work. I strongly agree with everything that Davina and the programme are trying to achieve. The Dutch have got it right, sex is nothing to be ashamed of. I believe that you should show this programme in the evening, it is such an important issue that it should reach a wider audience. The younger that children are taught, the better. They need to know about lesbian/homosexual relationships, which are now commonplace and recognised in our Society. We need to move with the times, be less British.
Lucy, 14, Derby
i have been off school ill for over a week and caught the "let's talk sex" programme and was stunned to find how much different the sex-ed in Holland is. i think that we need sex-ed just like that. having been through a hard time with my sexual experiances in the past year, i have come to the conclusion that i would like to be a sexologist. i have many ideas on what i could do to make this country control the STI rates. This programme is fantastic ... i am all for the SRE made compulsory. the more of this we see will make more actions take place. many thanks Davina.
Anon
i really enjoyed the programme on sex education. i agree that from 5 years old children should be taught about the importance of relationships so they have some idea for when they go to secondary school, so therefore will be more prepared and less shocked! i think the british are too old fashioned, some adults need to realize that we can't protect children forever, especially nowadays where we live in a sexualised culture. the school is the best place to learn about sex especially if the parents aren't there or are too embarrassed to talk about it. the sex education system failed me at school. i learnt from friends and mags. it also failed my brother, he started having sex at an early age so i bought him a book on sex! which he appreciated and has actually read, if the schools are not going to to provide, then someone has to.
Dan, 20, York
I find it annoying how complicated, yet obvious the problem of sex and relationships education is. The program I saw definitely came to the right conclusion, SRE for all, starting at a young age, is, well, the most fundamentally obvious thing to do regardless of 'issues' that might be more pertinent in areas of the UK - I don't care what the teen pregnancy rate is, absolutely everyone needs to know this stuff. Ask yourself the question, which has played a more important role in your life so far, Sex and Relationships, or, Algebra. In fact, which did you probably know more about when you were 12, and which were you more interested in because you didn't know anything about it and felt you were supposed to? OK, maybe algebra was a bad example, but you see what I'm saying. The only thing I would add is that, Sex Education is as good as compulsory already - imagine being the kid who couldn't be taught about sex because their parents wouldn't let them, it's a social execution. The main issue is, in simple terms, SRE in the UK sucks. The fact of the matter is, people under the age of 16 have sex and there is little we can do *now* to help the current generation of teenagers make (presumably) more informed decisions about relationships and the choices they have to make about sex - it's just too late. But, we can help them when/if things go wrong as well as steer them back on a safer and more personally secure path - people who want teenagers to not have access to the same confidential services that they have as an adult need a reality check, teenagers quite evidently need more people to turn to than less. And, if we sort things out, we can help future generations not get into such a mess during puberty as well...
Rosie, 15
I watched davina's programme let's talk sex this morning, when off school ill. I am 15, and it looks as though our school has been slightly better than others across the country when it comes to sex education - we had several sessions in year nine with the school nurse on realtionships, one of which included how to put a condom on. However, I learned much more by just watching an hour of the programme this morning than I have previously at all at school. I definitely agree that sex ed in schools should be made ccompulsory, and as a set lesson, say once a week. Also, it should be taught much younger, as we only had one video on 'sexual intercourse and puberty' at the end of year 6.
I thought the preogramme was a great start towards achiving their goals of earlier, more consistent, and compulsory sex and relationship education in schools, and let's hope the goverment takes notice sooner rather than later.
Eli, 15
I've been watching this programme whilst off ill from school. I've never had any real sex education except one lesson where they gave us a sheet on std's and how bad they are.I think we can go to the school nurse to get a condom demonstration but i would be too embarrased. I reckon a gentle form of sex ed should begin at about 5 as then it is perceived as normal. I knew all about what sex was at about 6 or 7 anyway but that was mainly via unreliable sources, such as an older brother. I think if we followed the Dutch way then you wouldn't have kids getting pregnant so young. In the last programme you showed how to a condom on, i would have never known about blowing it or when to take it off and i know some couples in my year are having sex and i doubt they really know either. I have a boyfriend myself but i don't want to have sex with him, well i did consider giving in but i'm glad i didn't because i probably would have got myself pregnant. i think if they taught sex ed in the context of love then less of the people in my year would be having sex as it's mainly to be cool and people expect you to have sex once you've been going out a month or so.
Sarah, 20
I would just like to say how excellent I think this program was. As a medical student sex education for young people is a topic I feel very strongly about. My own experience of sex education was pretty poor but I have friends who had absolutely none. You'd be surprised what some 20 year old medical students didn't know when we had a quiz from a sexual health doctor! I can't imagine how uninformed many school children must be.
Teaching sex education consistently is important. I think it's crazy that to believe not teaching children about sex in schools will lead to them not knowing about it and thus prevent them from any 'harm'. Children are learning about sex and relationships from many other sources e.g. Television, magazines, tales their friends tell them. Implementing a proper curriculum will help to empower children by clearing up the vast amount of confusion many of them have. Without a good knowledge of relationships and sex it is hard for children to resist peer pressures etc... I am extremely inspired by Holland's teaching methods.
It seems from reading other people's comments that many of us accidentally came across this program. Disappointingly I missed the first episode, I hope it will be shown at prime time so even more people can be informed about these extremely important issues. Good work Davina and Channel 4, I know this campaign may come up against many obstacles but keep going! It's just fantastic.
David, 22, Hull, East Yorkshire
I stongly think that sex education these days has gone down the drain. Back in 2000 after my GCSEs and leaving school, i had no idea on sex education and was stumped when i'd get into a random conversation talking about it. I am now 22 this year and have had to learn sex education through word of mouth and experiance. I strongly suggest that schools these days take on board the fact people are still losing loved ones and family due to STDs and AIDS. Why are we still held in a British time of (SEX?!?!?! we can't say that!!) It's an absolute tragedy for us. You want our children to grow up with a great education? What's the point of using it when they end up pregnant or dying of AIDS? Tell me Goverment?? Tell us all!!!
Anon
I am a 67 yr old grandfather with 5 grand children. I agree that there should be more sex education (I'm sure we were always told there was for some time now, another case of government misleading the people) but the thing that seems to be ignored "not in the program" is teenager hormones. the mother who bought her daughter a vibrator seems the way to go if we in this country weren't so inhibited.
Dianne
Mum of two, age 4 years and under 1
i have been folowing this program and think it's a real eye opener. My sex education was obviously more than most, it included sexual transmitted infections and the correct way to put on a condom. I had no idea this wasn't compulsery and after watching the program i feel quite strong on the issue. Holland's facts are in black and white and our goverment need to open their eyes and do something about it. If parents disagree with this i would say to show them this programme.
Charlie
I feel strongly that sex is very much a topic that needs far more coverage at school. While I did recieve sex education, I feel that as a gay man, it didn't really prepare me for the real world. I had limited knowledge of gay relationships and only a very basic knowledge of 'safer sex'. While I knew that gay sex required using condoms, I was led to believe that there was still a high risk of HIV transmission, and had very little knowledge of the difference between HIV and AIDS. This led to me being extremely frightened about being gay, not just because of the fear of being rejected by friends and family, but also because I had no idea what I was doing in bed. I was very vulnerable due to a lack of knowledge but was very fortunate that my first partner was very understanding and of a similar age. Many aren't as fortunate and are led to believe that they have to have anal sex (there's more than one way to skin a cat!) and, in doing so, use oil based lubes, suffer a great deal of physical pain etc.
I did most of my learning either in bed (!) or when I fell in love with someone living with HIV. Fortunately, in all of these situations, I was with considerate people who looked out for me, and have grown up relatively unscathed.
There's no way that something as important as SRE should be optional!! How utterly ridiculous. I feel angered that my SRE was inadequate, but at least it was partially covered! I wonder how much money the government would save in health/social care if they were to teach it properly?
PS. In business, a company would be sued if it failed to train its staff to work safely, and yet we have schools failing to teach kids to live safely... instead it seems that Art, RE, PE, CDT are priority (none of which seem a lot of use if your life's been ruined by an ill-informed choice due to a lack of SRE).
Dawn
A fantastic programme, which I think should be repeated on primetime TV so everyone has a chance to see it. In my opinion you will never stop teenagers wanting to experiment with sex if that's the way their mind is set. If it is so obvious to me and so many other adults of my generation that what the Dutch have done works, why then are we still stuck in the dark ages scared to offend people with talk of educating our children on a subject that has a massive impact on their lives. If we can reduce the teenage pregnancy rate in this country I would say we should try anything. Do we have to wait for a minister from our generation to be elected to make the government wake up and smell the coffee?
Sarah, 18
Well done Davina, it's about time someone spoke out about underage sex and teen pregnancies. I lost my virginity at 16 and the only reason I had waited is because I was a very small build and worried about it hurting! Even though it was legal I did not use any sort of protection and I was under the influence of alcohol. I was out with friends who had ALL lost their virginity at a young age and when I met a good looking older guy everyone told me to go for it and I did. I had had sex ed at school but that was not until year 10 and it did not tell us half the things that we should all know about sex. I feel if I had known more about sex it would not have happened the way it did and I would have been a lot stronger and said NO. I was not ready and was not even in a relationship with the guy. I think SRE should be compulsory in schools and parents/guardians should be involved. This will give everyone more knowledge about sex and make it easier for parents/guardians to talk about sex with their children. Good luck Davina I'm behind you all the way.
Carol, 39, Highlands
As an adult of 39, I have to say that sex education is sadly lacking in this country, I can barely remember what I was taught at school, definitely not enough.
I also do not agree with the idea that giving children information on sex and relationships is going to make them promiscuous or homosexual or lesbian. I think that children will experiment either way and it is far better for them to be educated and make informed decisions about what they are doing.
I know about parents' embarrassment, my parents didn't talk much about sex with me, but they were open minded enough to let me have all the information I needed from books and magazines from the age of about 12. It did not make me promiscuous, I didn't lose my virginity till I was 161/2 and I was totally protected when I did, on the pill and we used a condom.
On the other hand a friend of mine at the time wasn't allowed by her mother to read the books and magazines with me and she ended up pregnant by 16.
I think lack of information has a lot to answer for.
I am now a mother myself, with two boys aged 11 and 10, both still in primary school. My eldest is getting sex education which started last year and I'm pleased that he is, but I know this is not the case in all schools. I want both my boys to grow up with a healthy and un-embarrassed attitude towards sex.
I think it is time we Brits became less inhibited and more open minded about sex, after all it's a perfectly natural thing, everybody does it, why should we be embarrassed about it?
I wholeheartedly agree with Davina that sex and relationship education should be made compulsory in schools and maybe we will see a turnaround of the terrible teenage pregnancy/STD statistics in this country.
Maybe we could have classes for the embarrassed parents too?
Jessica, 14
I am 14 and am from the south east and I agree with Davina that sex education should be made compulsory. At my secondary school we have hardly done anything and we didn't do anything about sex in year 9 and most people I know that are my age have had sex and lots of them probably unprotected because they all go out and get drunk every weekend and they are all only 14-15. So I think that we should have to do about sex education before teenagers at my school get themselves into lots of trouble. I know lots of people that have been pregnant and most of the, are about 15-16 that have gone to my school and it is stupid and because the teachers don't teach us about sex education enough and if they did then I think that teenagers will be more careful when having sex and it might even put them of having sex for a while at least until they are old enough to deal with the consequences and the effects it has on peoples lives.
Phil, Manchester
Davina for new cabinet role of Sex Education Minister for Schools - fabulous programme! I am a gay man, aged 25. Had sex ed in school (primary school at the age of eleven) which was very basic and consisted of two one hour sessions - none of which was anything other than watching a video with a short question and answer session afterwards. I was lucky as a child in that my mother was very open and honest, her being someone who worked for the local family planning clinic she certainly drummed into me all the relevant information regarding safe sex. I was happy to see in your programme that someone touched on homosexual relationships, with the way we have moved forward as a nation in accepting the gay community in the last ten years having this information available to children of an early age will not only help the sexually transmitted disease rates but surely help stop prejudices in the future when the school children of today become understanding, well educated adults. Young gay men of school age are a lot more open about their sexuality, they need relevant information as much, if not more - after all, the majority of thier parents will quite obviously be heterosexual and may not know all the possible implications of unprotected homosexual activity. This programme has been truely inspiring - thank you - I do suggest you look for prime time next time, hit more of these parents who think this is a bad idea!
Nicola
I coordinate the Braunstone Teenage Pregnancy Project in Leicester funded through the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy and European Social Fund. We are the only project in the Midlands as far as I am aware doing SRE education in schools. We are hosted and managed by Turning Point Women’s Centre in Leicester and we currently work in 8 of the 16 city secondary schools and two alternative curriculums, working in schools considered to be in hotspot areas of high teenage conception. We discuss issues around sexual health, contraception (condom demonstrations), delay of sex and realities of teen parenting. This is a very successful project and had been live since 2000. We work on the peer led approach. We have a team of 11 peer educators all young women who have or had first hand experience of being a teenage mum, the women complete an intensive 12 week training course equipping to be able to work in schools with primarily 14–16 year olds. The young women are able to draw from their own experiences and relate to these young people then the young people feel comfortable to get involved in the activities and ask lots of questions that they wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable asking a teacher or their parents ... I just wanted to make you aware that some of us are out there trying to make a difference.
Anon
I am 21, female, and I lost my virginity at 12. At the time I believed I was old enough, however as I got older I felt all the more traumatised by this experience. This is partly due to the society we live in, sex is considered taboo, and having sex at 12 is unimaginable to most parents regarding their own children. I believe that while most parents DO try to talk to their children in their own way, most do not provide a clear understanding. For instance, a parent would tell their child that sex is something you do when you're older and with someone who you fall in love with (most commonly said to girls). To the young teenager who due to adolescence, is experiencing hormonal imbalances and rebelling simply to prove independence, this concept of sex can have disastrous consequences. When you tell a girl she will be in love when she has sex, her first instinct when she falls in love (which, a teenage crush can feel a lot like love when you haven't experienced love before), is to consider the possibility of having sex. Eventually, she will end up having sex each time believing each time that she is in love and justifying it. I was fortunate enough to never get pregnant or an STI, however I knew many girls who I was horrified to hear had gonhorea, Chlamydia and even warts. Many a times I would go to get the morning after pill for girls in my school. I believe that as a parent I will be talking to my children about sex to make sure it's not a ‘mystery’ subject which they can only talk about in low voices with their peers, but to understand the full extent of it. I did have some sex education in school however it was too late ...
Sarah
I believe the Government needs to act soon, can't they understand the statistics! It is possible that child depression rates are rising as children are unsure how to manage feelings about relationships. In my school we run a programme called APAUSE, where sixth formers teach year nine students about sex and relationships. But this alone is not enough Davina is right; Early, Consistent and Compulsory!
Georgina, 18, Peterborough
Can i start by saying well done Davina! Somebody standing up and taking notice at last, It's a disgrace that the government can't or won't support this type of eduacation! So many young children are having sex these days and don't know where to turn to for help or support when things go wrong. Unfortunately i was in this position where i was unable to talk to my parents or my school, luckily i've got an older sister that helped me through it mentally and physically. We need to teach children younger than 13 because in some cases they have already become sexually active. Sex education should be a lesson once a week like PE. that's supposed to be for your health so why not PROPER SEX EDUACATION for your safety!!!!
Gisela, 21, Gosport
I'm a university student and on my day off I caught the final installment of Lets Talk About Sex. I was appalled at the state of sex education in schools (not having gone through the education system here in the U.K. but in South Africa) and shocked at how uninformed and unprepared young people are in this country.
I've been fortunate enough to recieve good sex education and parents with the ability and willingness to talk about sex throughout my teen years, which i contribute to not having been sexually active till the age of 18. The thought that children as young as 12 or 13 are experimenting with sex without similar support terrifies me as there are so many things that can go wrong. Sex must become an issue that people are willing to discuss, or at least have taught in schools, as the society we live in advertises relationships and sex to a very young target audience through fashion and the charts. I'm sure youngsters are very aware and curious of it as a result and therefor it can only be benificial to give them the bigger picture.
In my opinion the Dutch have it right: arm youngsters with as much information as possible and support them when the time comes to make their own decisions. Best to have the knowledge and resources available (whether it be parents or clinics) when things go wrong than not at all.
Bravo Davina and Channel 4 for taking what is still percieved a taboo subject out into the open and insiting it must be addressed!
L, 26, Edinburgh
After watching the programme by Davina McCall, i was appalled to learn that sex and relationship education is not compulsory for children.
Remembering my own education classes at school, we had 1 lesson for maybe 45 mins long on the different types of protection for sex, nothing in regards to relationships, genitalia or sexually transmitted diseases. Of course being a child at the time i found it both embarrassing and funny and didn't really pay much attention. I remember the teacher being very red and incredibly embarrassed about teaching the class.
... I came from quite a small town and was incredibly naive about sex, relationships and diseases but now thanks to friends advice i regularly get checked out at my local GUM clinic. I try and promote the clinic to everyone i know i find it such a brilliant place to be open and honest about any subject. GUM clinics are usually associated with people who are VERY sexual and it is still seen as a nasty place to visit... only if you have a disease or you're gay etc. The staff are so friendly and inform you of everything and are always on hand to support you.. I find them more informative than my own GP. I believe that local GUM clinics alone should be promoted more. GP's telling young people where to get more informative advice. Don't make them into seedy little places as gossip states. They are fresh and incredibly useful.
... The message the government and some parents are putting across to their children is that sex is dirty and you shouldn't talk about it and don't tell anyone about it.. you're still seen as promiscuous if you have sex once. Children should be taught the wonders of relationships and being close to someone from a young age. It is not wrong to love someone of the same sex, you are not a freak if you have a condom in your wallet. All matters of sex, from love, feelings, sex and genitalia should all be introduced and taught.
Bring compulsory sex and relationship education in schools Promote safe sex Don't hide from it!
Trudy, 17
Having watched all three programmes in the 'Let's talk sex' series I have to say the state of UK's sex education system is appalling. I'm 17 and still a virgin. Despite having only one hour of sex education that was taught by a one-off supply teacher who was later cautioned for 'exposing' students to such a topic; I feel I have a brilliant knowledge of sex and relationships. Thankfully I have a mature mum who has discussed sex and everything that goes with it openly since I started asking questions around age 9. The lesson I had was given when I was 14 which in my opinion is far too late; I know 4 girls who were pregnant and 1 who had an abortion at that age. I cannot understand why sex is such a taboo subject, why can't parents talk to their children? If parents are ready and mature enough to handle sex and having children then shouldn't they also be able to handle informing their children of the topics covered in the programme? I think it's time society accepts sex is part of everyday life. There is such a stigma about sex discussion towards young people. For instance while out shopping with my friend, she bought some condoms and the amount of disgusted looks we received whilst stood at the counter was astonishing. Holland has it spot on. On hearing sex education starts at age 5 why are people so shocked? In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that. Like Davina said if we start compulsory sex education now then, like Holland, in 20 years the UK can too have lowered the horrific percentages of STIs and teen pregnancies. I think all schools in the UK should take the sex test Davina took in the programme which I believe would show some shocking results and raise national awareness of what a mess the UK is in.