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Let's Talk Sex
Comments

Amy, 32
As a 32 year old mother to a 21 month old daughter, my immediate reaction on seeing today's program was one of "Good Lord!!" when I saw the details of what was shown in the Sex Education video and initially my protective streak was to say "I don't want my daughter seeing that". However... on reflection, I can see exactly why the Sex Education system in Holland works so well... it's the LACK of knowledge that our children have about sex that is causing the problem – not the knowledge itself. That level of detail takes the mystery away and teaches children to respect themselves, their partners and their bodies and I for one really really hope to see sex education improving in our schools. I think parents need to take responsibility for it too – whilst the idea of talking to my daughter about sex makes me feel rather ill-at-ease, I think I owe it to her to make sure that she has all the information. I for one would be happy to support legislation that enables schools to provide better sex education to our children whilst fully agreeing that, as a parent, I also have a responsibility to ensure that my child has the information she needs. How easy that will be as she gets older remains to be seen! I think that should a system such as the Dutch one be introduced in the UK, that parents will need educating as much as their children. I don't think it'll be easy but I really really hope that people recognise the value of such a system!

Tracey
I have been watching your programme and would like to congratulate you on bringing to the attention of the british people our need for greater sex education in schools. I have 2 teenage sons and an 11 year old son and i am very open with them all about sex and attitudes, i have tried to teach them that sex is about relationships and love and not just something that you do because all of your "mates" are doing it. My eldest is 15 and i showed him how to put a condom on a few weeks ago, using a "toy" should i say. They can get condoms from youth club (could this be a way forward) but i don't think anyone shows them how to use them properly. (maybe not). I do not want any of my children having to care for an unwanted child or contract an unwanted std. I will continue to teach them safe sex, but it would be more advantageous for the children if schools continued with this especially from an early age. Also i do think that the country as a whole is homophobic so what the dutch children learn in primary schools could be taught here as well. Sex is in our culture, safe sex is not, hence the number of pregnacies and increase in std`s. We should take a leaf out of the dutch education system and employ specialist educators to go round schools and inform and ducate our children about sex and relatonships. Yes there will be parents who do not want their children to participate, in that case they are not involved. the children are the adults of the future, we should give them help and education on sex so that they can make an informed choice.

Sarah, Hertfordshire
I think the programme is excellent and really highlights how uncomfortable we British people in general are talking about sex love and relationships. It's time we lose this stiff upper lip 'no sex please we're British' and face up to the fact that we are letting our young people down! I was lucky to have a mum that openly talked about sex when I was 8 but even so I was never taught how to put on a condom properly. How can we possibly teach our young people about safe sex if we don't show them how to use condoms and the pill properly? As a parent I would totally support the Dutch approach along with teaching my children myself ... the facts speak for themselves

Emma, 27, Oxfordshire
I'm 27 and a mother of 3 with one on the way. I have a girl who is 7 and boy/girl twins who are 5. I would love to have my children educated like the children in Holland are. My Kids all know the basics of periods. I have always tried to be as honest with them as i can, and any questions they have asked about the baby i am carrying at the moment have been answered just as honestly. The only sex education on offer at the moment is horror stories about everything that can go wrong, and too many children still think 'It won't happen to me'. I agree they should be taught the emotional side of sex as well as the physical and shouldn't be made to feel embarrassed about feelings and speaking about them. I've previously had to have treatment at an STD clinic and feel like this country has way too many taboo subjects. Teach our children everything they need to know so they can make their own decisions. Until we do we only have ourselves to blame for the appalling teenage birth rates!!!

Paula, Worcester
I have just watched the second episode of Davina's 'Let's talk sex' and wanted to say that it has revolutionised my views on sex ed. I am a teacher and would have previously thought that 6,7,8 yrs old was too early but having seen the Holland trip has changed my mind. I was amazed and impressed at the mature attitude of the young children. The stats speak for themselves. Something must be done here! I agree with the headteacher on the programme that starting this in a school is impossible as an isolated case. It needs change from everywhere. It is also glaringly obvious that the press have got a lot to answer for. The press need to watch the programme. Davina has presented this really well and has been honest throughout. What can I do to help!

Charlotte, 26, North Yorkshire
I have just watched your let's talk sex programme with davina and felt I had to explain my situation in the hope that others take sex education seriously. I lost my virginity at 14, I had my daughter at 18. I am now 26 and in the process of having ivf treatment as between the time i became sexually active and having my daughter i caught Chlamydia which was left undetected and progressed to pelvic inflamitary disease. i am now infertile. I was told it was a miracle that i conceived my daughter. as i am now settled down in a happy marriage we felt it was time to complete our family. being told I was infertile was so hard to take and has left myself my husband and my daughter devestated. If only we had the proper sex education and understanding of what unprotected sex could lead to. I am 100% behind sex education becoming compulsory in schools, unfortunately for me it is too late to learn by my mistakes, but hopefully the education system could help prevent others having to suffer the heartache that we have.

Sarah, 34, Doncaster
I would like to praise Channel 4 and Davina for a wonderful, entertaining and enlightening outlook on sex education in schools. My daughter attends Serlby Park School and I was pleased to see the eagerness with which Dave Harris wanted to change things but also understand his apprehensions. As a pupil of a catholic school, in the 80s, I had very little sex education and what we did have centred around the religion. We have quite a high teenage pregnancy rate in our area and a better sex eduacation programme in schools would make a difference, but the support of parents is imperative. I try to talk openly with my girls (age 10 and 13) and answer thier questions. The way i look at it, if they are coming home and asking me are they learning what they need in school? Thank you again for a very enjoyable and educating program. I have videoed the programs to watch with my children, i hope other parents do the same.

Julie (concerned parent)
I just wanted to say what a liberating programme!!! If only everybody in the United Kingdom would watch it and see how simply the Dutch teach sex education. Sex should not be taboo and the earlier they learn, the better they will understand and react to situations relating to sexual relationships. I have 3 children (7,11,13) and always try to answer their questions about sex and relationships as openly as I can. (Not that they ask very much – they feel embarrassed to ask because it is not an openly talked about subject, at school or in social situations). The problem being that I feel I can't always be as honest as I would want, mainly because of our society and how their friends/family would react. I really think this programme should be shown again, at a prime time, and give parents the opportunity to decide for themselves to perhaps do something about it. God, if I can feel compelled to write in I am sure there are a lot of people out there who could do a whole lot more!!! Well done Davina and Channel 4 !

Stephanie, 33
I am 33 year old female and have been living in the UK for a year now. I think the "British sex problem" goes deeper than only to education and school. I noticed when I wanted to go to the Sauna the first time here that you cannot go without wearing your swimming costumes! And mixed saunas as they are common in Germany are unthinkable! To go naked (as the whole Sauna culture was invented...) was considered unhygenic! I think most people here never get to know their bodies, they consider them and especially "their private parts" as something that is not to be talked about or that you should not familiarise yourself with... If this is what children learn from their parents, how are they ever to develop a healthy feeling for their body and consequently the things you can do with it! I know that as a kid I saw my Mum and Dad naked, not every day but it would happen. I could always ask about sex and my period and tampons and whatever came to my mind and questions were answered without me having the impression that there is something dirty or something you rather not talk about!
Come on Brits, relax about your bodies, about love and sex, it's nothing bad at all and I think that statistics prove it, the more you know about your body, love and sex, the less likely you are to do something that you don't want or that you regret afterwards...

Sandra, Cambridge
I have been watching the Let's Talk Sex series and think that the Dutch methods of teaching are fantastic. I think we should purchase their curriculum material and apply it as soon as possible for primary and secondary teaching now! I was also very taken by how mature and attentive the Dutch students were in class. They are so obviously more respectful of each other and of their tutors.

Preben
Finally a well balanced program trying to cut through the typical British denial when it comes to sex and sexual issues surrounding children. Being a Dane and having lived in the UK for 7 years I'm appalled to see how little anyone does to secure a healthy balance when it comes to sex education. Parents and educational authorities alike leave the sex introduction to children deprived the basic information. Children can't rely on anything but have to venture into adulthood blindfolded. How can we expect our children to know what's right and what's wrong without being taught?
In Denmark, as in Holland, sex education is an integral part of primary school education, followed by more comprehensive sex education in secondary school. This coupled with more readily available sex literature and publicly available sex tools (toys) demystifies the whole subject. Teenage pregnancy levels in countries with early sex education are far lower than in UK .. Wonder why! I hope the program and Davina succeeds in starting the change towards a modern, up to date and foremost better society for children, where relationship and sex issues are as natural as food and drink. Good going

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Jamie, 20
I'm a 20 year old female, looking back on the sex education I was given, it was always a very embarassing time, the whole class would be giggling and cracking jokes. It was too much of a taboo for children to take it seriously. I strongly believe that we should follow the great example Holland has given. It clearly works. The children are so mature and open. I'd be very proud. It may take a couple of generations of work for it to be effective in Britain but I believe it's worth it. I don't have any children, but I hate the thought of bringing a child into this world with the risk that they would have so little respect for themselves, others and relationships that they would deal with sex the way today's children/teenagers do. In this day and age, with the content of the media and the accessibilty of sexually related subjects, we can't hide the facts from our children. We need to be completely open and make sex/relationship education compulsary in schools from an early age. It's ok getting GCSEs in maths, english and science, but none of those will be any good in life if a 16-year-old girl is stuck at home with 3 kids. The more money we put into decent sex education for schools, the less we will have to pay out to teenagers in child benefits. The government just needs to be brave for once.

Amelia, 19
i went to a church of england high school and in my year we did not receive 1 single sex education lesson – by the time sixth form was over i think there must have been at least 8 pregnancies just from my year. I would love to get involved in helping this change of getting sex ed. back into our schools in any way i can. This programme needs to be repeated at peak time so parents, children, teachers, people who can help make the difference can see it!

Anon
I am a 34-year-old single mother with two teenage daughters. I was not informed properly about sex education which I do believe led me to be a teenage mother. I am therefore now very open and honest with my daughters and we have regular talks about sex. If they have a boyfriend I bring him into the conversation and make sure that if they are even thinking about taking that step that they know exactly what responsibilities come with having sex, as it could change your life forever. I took my eldest to the nurse to have a talk about the pill but just she just looked down her nose at us and said that the best prevention is NOT TO HAVE SEX. So I feel that sex education should be a lot more open in schools as well as with nurses and doctors. It is a big part of life and it should be discussed because teenagers are having sex and without the proper information and support the teen pregnancy and STI rate will just get higher.

Lei, 29
I have two young daughters aged 6 and 8. i am very open with them on sex and relationships. i feel that it is very important that when they are old enough that they should make informed descions and safe ones. no subject is taboo. i think the dutch have it right and i would like to see more of it in our schools. if you take the mysetry out of sex i think children would be far less likely to experiment until they are ready.

Anon
I am a mum of four children and also a school nurse. I can understand the concern that many parents have about informing their children too early about sex. However I have been trying really hard in my area to change people's minds. As a school nurse I see both sides. Giving relationship education to a year group which clearly has different maturity levels is difficult but is achievable, I also see girls at my drop-in who are pregnant or have STIs and also the number of boys who come to see me is rising. Many of their concerns are not only about STIs or pregnancy but also relationships and homosexuality. The government needs to have a standard across schools. Many of the head teachers that I work with want to give the children more but meet a brick wall with the PTA. Because of this I am trying to set up an independant company that takes sex and relationship education into schools across all key stages. Self esteem is the answer.

Phil
All i can remember of sex education at school was intercourse and nothing of feelings, contreception and so on. I am 21 and homosexual and found sex education was a waste of time for me. It's typical english ignorance that is the problem, the episode i have just watched on 'let's talk sex' was very educating to myself, i still couldn't tell you how a coil works and i find that dissapointing. There is more to sex education than intercourse and the government isn't doing enough. Today's program should be used at parent teacher meetings and get the parents' views.

Tracy, 37, Worthing
I have just watched your programme Let's talk Sex (Dutch). I must agree that they way it is taught in Holland seems to be very mature and open minded. It seems that if it is taught from a young age (such as 11) it doesn't seem to be a thing that is whispered in the playground and tried by the young because of pressure or not knowing enough information. I must admit I have 3 girls from the age of 11 down to the age of 5 and I do talk to them about most things. I have told my 11 year old about periods and she knows some not all of sex and reproduction but I think having the back-up from school would be great. I noted that some have said that they are taking away the rights of the mother but what about the children whose parents tell them nothing. If it became the norm would there be such a problem? There does not seem to be in Holland!

Samantha, 19
I am a 19 year old girl with two children, one of 5 and one of 2. I watched the show let's talk sex and it inspired me. I do not want my children to end up like most other teenage children in the uk. I would really love to know if there is anything I can do to help towards any campaigning to make the uk a safer place for our children to grow up in. I loved the way the Duch worked and am sure that it would work in this country, if people would just let it. We need stonger goverment support. If parents realised the benefits of changing the way we deal with sex education, I don't think that the majority would be opposed.

Matt
Wow, what a programme! Why has it taken so long for the 'penny to drop'? Davina and her researchers have done such a fantastic job. Let's just hope the government can take a serious look at what this programme has brought to our screens. Let's follow Holland's lead and make this country safer with teenagers who can make their own decisions. Thank you Channel 4.

Sue
i have just watched this morning's programme. i have 2 boys aged 8 and 10. i felt that this programme clearly explained the reasons for earlier and continuous sex and relationship education. as a parent i was unsure of this prior to watching this programme and would now be much happier accepting the dutch way of educating our children. i feel that if schools were to show this programme to parents it may change their opinions too.

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Rachel, 18
I’m 18 years old at 6th form and am in a serious relationship, however I lost mine at the age of 15 drunk at a house party but used a condom and I think that alcohol is a serious matter when it comes to unprotected sex. when watching this show it got me thinking about my sex education and I remember the lessons of how to put a condom on a banana but the thing I most remember was when Viking FM came into our school and spoke to us about STIs. however I think that sometimes things to do with sex might be better spoken about in single sex lessons as I feel I would have got distracted by guys laughing and making jokes, or being too shy to put the condom on the plastic willy. And yes I agree with teaching it earlier and continue the lessons throughout. However when you get older I don’t think that some teachers would be the right kind of people to talk to us about sex as we see them sometimes in a different ways. However I don’t feel that getting some random person in would have the same connection as someone the students know or even recognise off the TV. When I see girls in years as low as 9 pregnant I feel we really need to start doing things and just take the risk. I feel there will be a lot of people that support it.

Joanne, 31
i have just seen for the first time your program "let's talk sex". i think the program should be shown to the goverment and challenge them to say it does not work! when clearly it does. I was 14 when i lost my virginity and do deeply regret it. i am sure that if i had received that kind of sex ed i would have waited.

Annie
I've just seen the trailer for tomorrow's programme where one mother said it's undermining her role as a parent to teach about sex. While some parents will be open enough to deal with their own children's knowledge, too many others won't and obviously are not. I will be more than happy to talk to my daughter in a few years when I think she is old enough, but I will be reassured to know the schools have all the information I might not have. I think the Dutch system proves how worthwhile it is to get kids full of knowledge early. What harm can it do to teach one of the fundamentals of human life when kids are constantly bombarded with the fun side of sex in the media without the safety information? What does need to change is the prudish and stuffy attitude of much of our country.

Stephen
I am 30, and have 4 girls aged 6months, 3, 5 and 7 and i think it's about time the government started changing the way sex education is taught. i fully agreed with the show dated 21 march 06. The way sex ed should be taught is in stages and a consent form sent home asking for permision to teach each stage or to disagree which stages not to be taught. Please change the way our children and future children are taught.

David
No sex education should be taught in any school. I wasn't told any thing till i was 15 i started having sex at 19. If they do not know about it they won't have the want to have sex.

Claire, North Norfolk
I have just watched the second of your programmes when the team visited Holland with a group of Children and Teachers. Was very impressed – I think Britain's attitude towards Sex education hasn't changed since I was at school. My daughter is coming up 10 and a video of this programme – along with some printed educational material would be really useful.

becca, 19
it was taught but at 15/16 when it was far too late and it was never enough. different religious attitudes should be taught towards sex as well. as a christain living in a 'christian' country our values should be stated (but not forced), the same with every other religion. young people deserve the respect to know the facts and from a sensible age – 9–10yrs old would be a good place to start

rachael, 16
i think sex education is appalling in schools today, some of my friends have been pregnant more than twice and that shouldn't be happening, all because the school didn't provide us with enough information about sex. I didn't get any sex education because my teachers kicked me out the class and when i asked for some educating they blatantly said i didn't need it. Which was unacceptable. i think school should seriously think about what they are doing about this matter because more and more girls my age are falling pregnant or getting an sti.

Rebecca, 30
I am a new mum, my daughter is 2 months old. I am so glad that I used contraception all these years! I feel for young mums and their babies, as I know how hard it is. Despite having my own home and a loving, supportive husband (who cooks for me!) I am still exhausted, and taking each day as it comes. I will have to go back to work eventually, as one income is not enough for a family – but I can't see how I will ever have enough time! Parenthood is fantastic, but definitely worth waiting for and having a partner to help you. So, bring on the Sex Ed. tell them all the gory details – emotional education too – get rid of this taboo British attitude, before we end up back in Victorian times, over populated and spreading STIs! Every life is precious and we deserve to give our kids a better future.

Faye, 13
your program is a great opotunity to show me, at the age of 13, the effects of sex. i found it quite interesting. i think sex ed should be shown to kids around 7 because that's when kids tend not to believe the fairytale baby stories and start to experience changes in their bodies and begin to experiment. (divina mccall rocks.)

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Lauren, Essex
I caught the show today and feel quite strongly that this is a good thing, the one thing that i was never taught about was the emotional feelings that come along with having sex. I think that the government should take note of this. Divina u rock!!!

Ann
Yes, the country is in trouble and a whole generation is at risk. Many have watched unhappily the situation developing for the past 30 years, as more and more sex education has been taught by schools and other agencies. The message of thousands of years has been abandoned, that sex belongs to marriage. The dismissal of abstinence in one sentence on your programme was shocking and tragic. Things will get worse as we fail to recognise that the old-fashioned value of marriage is the only real answer, which should be clearly given by all adults. Children should be taught that happy marriage is possible and the right thing.

Aged 19, Newark, Nottinghamshire
I'm 19 yrs old and i lost my virginity at the age of 13. I don't regret it but i didn't enjoy it at that age. I didn't really know what sex was all about but everyone else was doing it. After that i didn't have sex for about a year. Since then i have had 3 long term relationships and a large number of sex partners and one night stands. Me and my friends laugh about it, we say we got minds of lads when it comes to having sex. Now at the age of 19 going clubbing, out in the week drinking going to parties and friends' houses it seems sex is literally just sex. Nobody uses contraception, maybe the pill but that isn't 100% safe. I live in a town where everyone knows everyone and it seems everyone sleeps with everyone. I also see them aged 13 and upwards to 16. Out on the parks, drinking, most likely having sex just like i did and i really do feel for them cause i've realised now that at that age it can damage you mentally. I also had an abortion at the age of 18 and since then i've been very careful when having sex. That is a very serious and difficult thing to go through and do'nt think those from 11 upwards realise what can happen and how not cool having sex early is. I left 6th form last year aged 18 and to be honest i can't remember the sex education i received at my secondary school. I know we had it but it can't have made any impact on me to forget it.

Ashlinn
i've just watched the programme and i am really interested in sex education. i am 17 and have lots of friends that have children or are pregnant at the moment. I used to go to a catholic school, they weren't allowed to teach us anything about contraception because of the catholic preachings being that 'sex before mariage is taboo and sex is only for the creation of life'. therefore the school didn't teach us about ANY contraception. Our parents choose our schools not us, the school that i went to was the best in the area, so has many students that aren't even catholic and still get no education on contraception. The school would even seperate students from holding hands or kissing at school. I left school with no knowledge about contraception. Please help the Catholic children from getting pregnant and catching diseases and infection.

Sally
I am a teacher at home ill which is why I was fortunate to be able to watch this program this morning. I am also a mother of a fourteen-year-old girl with whom I have always spoken openly about sex because I too had sex too early, at fourteen, (but fortunately did not have children until I was thirty). However, there is a girl in her class (at a private school) who is having regular sex with her boyfriend. The headmistress is aware of it as I informed her out of concern for the girl and she has spoken to the parents involved (not that this will be the solution). However, I thought your program was absolutely excellent and ... I feel it would be an invaluable resource to show senior school children.

Eleanor, 19 I've just watched the program and it all rings true about the whole sex education system set in place in schools. I went to a catholic secondary school but i'm not catholic. we had two lessons of sex education and that was girls in one room boys in the other and the girls learnt about periods that was it no sex talk at all. I think this was in year 8, a few teachers if asked about any type of contraception would not carry on with the topic due to it being against the catholic rules, so we never learnt much. In year 10/11 we should have had lessons in putting condoms on but we never did. I don't know how to put a condom on, even though I've had one partner, but because of the lack of teaching I got I knew I had to do something myself so i'm on the pill and I wouldn't spelt with anyone till I was. things have changed a little, my younger sister started getting sex education in the last years of primary school but still has no idea about anything. Something needs to be done. younger kids now know a lot but don't know at the same time, this could be the new generation of teenage parents, if something is not done. The program has made me more aware. I hope it helps things change.

Fiona, 25
I have just watched one of Davina's shows and i am so glad that she is trying to to something about it. My sex education at school wasn't much at all and by the time they actually talked to us about it most of the people in my year had already had sex by then. Most parents think that we shouldn't teach children about sex until they are in their mid teens, but they need to be taught much earlier, the sad fact is that children as young as seven know about sex. Something needs to be done in hope of changing today's society with such young mums

Leanne
i feel that sex education isn't taught properly and that it wasn't really school that taught me anything about it i learnt more from mates and maybe if i had learnt more i wouldn't have been in the situation i was in. recently i found out i was pregnant and had to make the hardest decision, i'm in a relationship and my boyfriend stuck by me completely and i chose to get an abortion, i didn't want to abort my baby but i felt it was for the best as there was no way i could keep a baby and finish my college course and afford to pay out for a baby. if i had learnt more about contraception and all the different types then maybe i wouldn't have gone through that situation i think that children should be taught about it from a young age. i feel i had to choose if i wanted to regret getting rid or regret keeping the baby and i would much rather regret getting an abortion as a baby is there for life.

Katie
I do believe that sex education, in schools, in this country is most probably the best in the world. These youngsters know that they will be helped out, if they have a baby. UK apparently has the highest percentage of teenage mothers than the rest of Europe because everyone knows you get help whereas in the rest of Europe they don't as much. There is more help today than ever before regarding preventative sex and YET these idiots have not got it in them to take a contraceptive. It's hardly brain surgeon stuff. Davinia sitting saying this could have been me! what on earth is she talking about. We could all say that, but because we all took precautions we didn't. Life is full of near misses but a lot of us get through it without getting pregnant. Unfortunately, we have now generations that think like that young girl. There are a lot more unwanted kids, and there are lot more kids at this very moment in foster care or children's homes than ever before. What a truly sad situation!. When that young girl says she lives on £44 per week. I don't believe her. I think she gets more. I have two boys who are in their teens, and hopefully my thoughts do not back fire on me. Every now and then I mention about sex precautions to them, although they are still quite young. If they happen to get someone pregnant, they know the consequences, just I did when I was in my teens.

Jessica, 15
i'm 15, 16 in may and i go to a catholic school in the South East. i'm in year 11 and in year 10 at my school there are at least 3 girls walking around pregnant! we seriously need better sex education at schools i know it's a touchy subject in catholic schools with their religious beliefs and everything but seriously! get with it! there are kids in year 7 having sex already! most kids our age know about contraception but the attitude toward sex in this country is appaling. it's still something that a lot of people don't want to talk about openly but something really needs to be done about it. i watched your program today and found it interesting! i love davina! she's a riot!

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