Putting off telling your children about the birds and the bees? It's not always easy, but finding ways to talk openly is good for them, and for you.

Research shows that in families where parents can talk openly, teenagers are more likely to delay starting sex, and to behave responsibly. Even if you don't feel 100% comfortable talking to your kids about sex, it's really important to try – and it can help both of you to build a closer relationship.

Try talking about incidents from the soaps or magazines to get a conversation started. Make discussing sex a part of everyday life by chatting when you're clearing the table or unpacking shopping together.

Set a good example. If you want your children to consider other people's feelings and behave responsibly, you need to do the same. And start early. If you leave it until your kids are in their teens, it'll be much harder.

Pre-schoolers
Very young children ask questions like, 'Where do I come from?' Tell them the truth, very simply, without going into lots of detail. If they ask tricky questions in public, say 'Let's talk about that when we get home' – but make sure you do.

5–8
Puberty can start as early as eight, and children need to know how their bodies work, and what changes will happen as they get older. Don't overload this age group with information, but answer their questions honestly.

Pre-teens
Ten year olds can start growing up very fast, and it may become harder to talk. Tell your child what you think and believe, but be open, and listen to their ideas. Talk about feelings and behaviour as well as biology.

Keep it light, and use a sense of humour. Try telling them about how you felt at their age. There are lots of good books and leaflets available (see Find out more), so you could give some of these as well as talking, and offer to answer their questions.

Teenagers
Check out teenagers' websites to learn what they're thinking and saying about sex and relationships (see Find out more). Listen to them, as well as expecting them to listen to you. Don't lay down the law or probe. Respect their need for privacy. If you can build trust, they'll be more likely to confide in you. If it's hard to talk, give them leaflets or books suitable for their age group (see Find out more).

If you find it difficult...
Support for parents is available from Parentlineplus (see Find out more). Find out about local parenting classes, Parents Together groups, or other parent peer groups, where you can share experiences and get ideas from other parents.