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  Egg and Sperm  
 Big
kissAre you waiting to utter those famous three little words? If you think you've found your soulmate, you sort of assume you'll know when the moment is right, but will you? Finding the perfect moment to say 'I love you' is a difficult task. Tip one: don't text You may be completely paranoid that your sweet words will be met by an ice-cold response, but resist the impulse to declare your devotion over the text waves. Tip two: find the perfect place For lots of people, saying 'I love you' represents the ultimate commitment within a relationship. Best then, to say it at a moment that you can look back on and sigh (in other words, not while you're in line waiting for fries at McDonald's). Tip three: wait until you're really, really sure Also, if you're really worried you're going to get laughed at, hold back on proclaiming your devotion until you're sure your one and only feels the same. Not sure you're really in love? You could try asking yourself a few hard questions. One word of caution: this isn't a hard and fast test, just meant to get you thinking!
Love biteCan't keep your hands off each other? If you can't shake your primal urges, you've most likely been bitten by the love bug. The three phases of love Not all love is equal. According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, falling in love has three phases. Phase one: Lust The sex hormones, testosterone and oestrogen, make us positively lustful. Testosterone plays a big role in the sex drive of both men and women. In this stage, we're really on the look out for sexual gratification. Phase two: Attraction If you spend all of your waking hours thinking of nothing other than your new love and if you've lost your appetite and can't sleep, you most likely in the attraction phase. You can blame your strange behaviour on the neuro transmitters, dopamine and norepinephrine, aka adrenalin. They give you the jitters and make your heart race. Phase three: Attachment When you're ready to make a commitment you're probably in the attachment stage. Attachment is thought to be partly related to the hormone oxytocin. Released by both men and women when they have an orgasm, oxytocin is supposed to help you commit.
CrabsWhat are crabs? Pubic lice (crabs) are tiny parasites that live in coarse body hair, such as pubic hair, chest, and underarm hair, for up to three months. They sometimes live in eyebrows or eyelashes but not on head hair. A female crab lays about four eggs everyday until she dies. How are they passed on? Usually passed on through sexual contact. They can also be passed on indirectly through contact with towels, clothing, sheets, or other shared objects. This happens less frequently, because crabs can't live away from the body for longer than a day (they suck on our blood to survive). Signs and symptoms Itchy skin and black powder appears in the underwear, caused by mite droppings. White eggs can be found on affected hair. What happens if left untreated? You'll feel itchy and uncomfortable and can spread lice to others. Pubic lice don't cause any long-term health problems. Treatment Lotion or shampoo that kills lice and their eggs. To avoid re-infection, close contacts or sexual partners should also be treated.
SpermPregnancy They're pretty good swimmers, those speedy sperms. And if one hits its target, all hell can break loose. Pregnancy can occur any time sperm makes contact with female genitals, even during anal sex. Keep in mind, too, that there's sperm in pre-ejaculatory fluid, so any contact while you're aroused can lead to pregnancy. If you've taken all the precautions and you still find yourself in the unenviable position of an unwanted pregnancy, it's important you know what your choices are. Facing difficult decisions First, your partner will need a pregnancy test. These are available free of charge from her GP, a family planning clinic, or sexual health clinics. You can also obtain them from pharmacies but you'll have to pay for them. About one in three pregnancies is unplanned and one in five pregnancies results in an abortion. It can be a difficult choice to make and can be a very emotional experience. Talking to people you can trust and obtaining accurate information can help you to make the decision that's right for you. See your GP or go direct to a family planning or sexual health clinic. Abortion FAQ Is abortion legal? It is legal in Britain under the 1967 Abortion Act, but, in Northern Irelandit is only available in exceptional circumstances. What is the legal time limit for abortion? Up to 24 weeks. (It is safer when it is carried out in early pregnancy. Most abortions are carried out before 13 weeks and almost all before 20 weeks. Weeks of pregnancy are calculated from the first day of the last normal period). How do I go about getting an abortion? Abortion is available free on the NHS or through private clinics and hospitals for a fee. You can either see your GP or go directly to a family planning or sexual health clinic for an NHS abortion. Remember that the number of NHS abortions varies from area to area, so you may have to go private, and contact specialist abortion providers. These include the British Pregnancy Advisory Service and Marie Stopes. Current costs (2003) start from around £350. Will a hospital or clinic tell my GP if I have an abortion? Many do so routinely, so that your medical records can be updated, but this is not a legal requirement. Tell the hospital or clinic if you do not want them to inform your GP. If I am under 16, do I have to tell my parents? No, so long as the doctors involved believe you fully understand what is involved, and that it is in your best interests. They will encourage you to involve your parents or a supportive adult, but you don't have to. What if my doctor won't refer me for an abortion? If your doctor does not believe in abortion, he or she can refuse to help, but should always refer you to another doctor. How long will I have to wait? You should not have to wait more than three weeks from your first contact with the GP or clinic. This is a minimum standard. So, ideally, you shouldn't have to wait so long. Where will the abortion be done? In either an NHS hospital or a private clinic, usually on the day, without an overnight stay. What will happen beforehand? You'll have the chance to talk things through and ask questions. You will also receive a blood test and be asked to sign a consent form. In addition, you may have tests for sexually transmitted infections, an ultrasound scan, a vaginal examination, and a cervical smear test. What happens during the abortion? There are three different abortion procedures: Early medical abortion (up to nine weeks) This involves two appointments, usually two days apart. Initial treatment with a hormone blocking tablet (mifepristone) stops the pregnancy continuing. Prostaglandin tablets or pessaries (which are inserted in the vagina) then make the womb expel the pregnancy. This method is not yet available everywhere. Vacuum aspiration or suction termination (usually from 7 to 15 weeks of pregnancy) The passage through the cervix (entrance to the womb) is dilated, gently stretched, and opened. The contents of the womb are removed with a suction tube passed through the cervix. This takes five to ten minutes and can be carried out under local or general anaesthetic. Surgical dilatation and evacuation (D&E (from about 15 weeks of pregnancy) The cervix is dilated and the pregnancy removed in fragments, using a suction tube and forceps. This usually needs a general anaesthetic. You may be able to go home the same day if you are healthy and the pregnancy is less than 18 weeks. Abortion after 20 weeks is uncommon and involves either surgical dilatation and evacuation or 'medical induction', which causes a labour similar to a miscarriage. You will need to spend one or two nights in hospital. Is abortion safe? Not entirely, problems are less likely early on. You should be advised of any potential complications related to the type of abortion you have and your stage of pregnancy. Infection is the most common problem after a surgical abortion. Most infections are easy to treat. Other problems may include prolonged bleeding. Will abortion affect my chances of having a baby in future? There is no harm to future fertility from a trouble-free abortion. Fertility can be affected by injury to the womb or serious infection, but this rarely happens. You should have a check-up within two weeks.
HIVHIV and AIDS There is no cure for HIV/AIDS, but almost a third of 18-24 year olds think that there is, according to a survey published by the HIV/AIDS charity, the Terence Higgins Trust, in July 2002. Teens are dying from embarassment More than 15,000 people in the UK have died from HIV/AIDS over the last 20 years. Teens are embarrassed to buy and use condoms and and STIs are on the rise. 40 per cent haven't heard of HIV/AIDS Sex education is failing. A survey in 2001 by the Schools Health Education Unit revealed that today's youngsters are much less aware of the facts. It revealed that 40 per cent of 11-year-old boys had never heard of HIV/AIDS. Major epidemic Contrary to popular perceptions that the HIV/AIDS epidemic has gone away, more people than ever before were diagnosed with HIV/AIDS in 2001 and the numbers of people living with HIV/AIDS is set to rise by half over the next five years. It is now more common in heterosexuals than in homosexuals. What is HIV? HIV stands for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The virus damages the body's immune system, so that over time it becomes vulnerable to illness and infections. What is AIDS? AIDS is caused by HIV. When a person has AIDS, it means their immune system is very weak and they have developed certain infections or cancers. These can be fatal. How is it passed on? Unprotected vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Sharing needles or syringes when injecting drugs. Pregnant women with HIV can pass it on to their babies during birth, although there are treatments to help prevent this. Can also be passed on through breastfeeding. Signs and symptoms A flu-like illness may occur shortly after being infected, but most people don't notice. Symptoms vary from person to person and occur when the immune system is so damaged that other infections begin to cause health problems. Tests and treatment The only way to establish if you have the virus is to have an HIV test. After a discussion about the test and the consequences of the result, a sample of blood will be taken and tested. You'll need to wait three months after infection might have occurred before doing the HIV test. There is no cure for HIV. However, drugs are available to slow down the damage that HIV does to the immune system. People who are HIV positive can now stay healthy for many years with anti-HIV drugs.
ChlamydiaWhat is it? The most common sexual disease. A bacterial infection, chlamydia, can affect the genitals and the cervix (entrance to the womb), the urethra (tube where the urine comes out), the rectum (back passage) and sometimes the throat and the eyes. Babies born to mothers infected with chlamydia infection are susceptible to eye infections. How is it passed on? Mainly from one person to another through vaginal, oral, or anal sex, or by sharing sex toys. Signs and symptoms Over 70 per cent of infected women and 50 per cent of infected men have no symptoms. Symptoms include unusual discharge from the vagina or penis or pain when peeing or urinating. What happens if it isn't treated? It can spread to other parts of the body, causing serious long-term health problems, such as reduced fertility or infertility. Treatment Antibiotics. CondomType of birth control Barrier What are condoms? Made of latex, plastic or natural membranes. Condoms prevent pregnancy and STIs because they stop the exchange of semen and other bodily fluids. Use Condoms must be put on just before intercourse or oral sex. Look for a condom with spermicide for added protection against pregnancy, and never use two condoms at once - this doesn't provide any extra protection because it increases the chance of a condom splitting. Don't reuse condoms and don't use the same condom for vaginal and anal sex. You must hold the rim of the condom during withdrawal. Effectiveness Condoms are usually 97 per cent effective, but 14 per cent of condom users will have an accidental pregnancy in the first year. If you're new to using condoms, you should use them with another birth control method such as the pill (which doesn't prevent STIs), the diaphragm, cervical cap, or sponge. Advantages
FeelingsRelationships Stroking, nuzzling, caressing, licking, nudging, rubbing, massaging. Anyway you do it, touch is one of the best ways to show somebody affection. It shows your partner how important he or she is and it's a really good excuse to be able to explore somebody else's body. Why it feels good When we're touched or we touch someone else, our bodies produce a hormone called oxytocin. In turn, oxytocin promotes a desire to touch and be touched because we feel good when oxytocin is released. In fact, even thinking of someone we love can stimulate this hormone. Increases sex drive Oxytocin increases testosterone production (responsible for sex drive in both men and women). More testosterone generally results in an increased sex drive. Oxytocin makes the penis and nipples more sensitive, improves erections, and makes orgasms more intense. What's more, sexual activity increases the production of oxytocin. Keep your hands to yourself While touching someone else is a highly pleasurable activity, don't neglect your own body. Masturbation alleviates stress (unless you do it in public or your granny's bathroom) and helps you learn about your own anatomy and sexual response important for the enjoyment of sex.
HerpesWhat is it? A virus. Two types of herpes virus can affect the genitals; one also affects the mouth. How is it passed on? Through direct skin contact, mainly during vaginal, oral or anal sex, or kissing. Signs and symptoms? Many infected people show no signs of the virus. Others don't recognise the symptoms, which can be very mild and include tingling in the genitals, followed by blisters that leave painful sores. What happens if it isn't treated? Serious problems are unusual. Genital herpes doesn't affect fertility and treated women can go on to have a normal pregnancy and birth. Treatment The virus will always remain in the body and no treatments get rid of it completely. Tablets taken during the first outbreak will help clear it up. Self-help measures include avoiding stress and cutting down on smoking and alcohol.
GonorrhoeaWhat is it? A bacterial infection, also known as 'the clap', that can infect the genitals, urethra, rectum, and throat. How is it passed on? By vaginal, oral, or anal sex. Signs and symptoms About 10 per cent of men and up to 50 per cent of women have no symptoms at all. Symptoms can include unusual discharge from the vagina or penis and pain when urinating or peeing. What happens if it isn't treated? It can also spread to other reproductive organs, causing serious long-term health problems, such as reduced fertility or infertility. Treatment Early treatment with antibiotics is usually simple and effective.
KissEvolution Anthropologists believe that kissing evolved from sniffing. Our ancestors would sniff to express sexual attraction. While smelling good is an important part of attraction today, we've grown up considerably since those early days of body snorting. Neck nibbles, French kisses, finger kisses, quickie kisses, tongue sucking, there's an endless variety of ways to snog. Is it okay to kiss on the first date? By all means but only if it's what you want to do. What if I have bad breath? Just chew some gum but make sure to keep it in your own mouth. What should I do about my braces? Be gentle and make sure you're kissing someone who's gentle too. If I kiss somebody, does it mean I'm dating them? Kissing somebody does not mean you've signed on to a full-time relationship. While it's not the best idea to kiss everyone you meet, it does happen. But if you've kissed someone and then decide you don't like them, you should let them know as soon as possible. Remember to put yourself in their shoes and make sure you tell it too them nicely. How should I kiss? Everyone you kiss will want to be kissed in a different way. And each person will kiss you differently. Kissing is just one of those things you have to try. One tip to keep in mind if you're kissing someone for the first time is not to shove your tongue down the other person's throat. Start out slow and be gentle.
SyphilisWhat is syphilis? Syphilis is a bacteria that infects the vulva, urethra, or cervix in women, and the penis or foreskin in men. How is it passed on? It is passed on through unprotected vaginal, oral or anal sex, by sharing sex toys, direct skin-to-skin contact with someone who has syphilis sores or rashes, or from a mother to her unborn child. Signs and symptoms Sometimes symptoms go unnoticed. Typical signs of first-stage syphilis infection include one or more painless sores on or in the genital area of men and women that can last 3 to 4 weeks. If the infection is not treated, second-stage syphilis can occur and typical symptoms include:
What happens if it isn't treated? Left untreated, syphilis can have very serious consequences over time to all the major organs in the body and this damage can be fatal. Treatment Antibiotics. To avoid re-infection, your partner should be treated too.
SlapHands off buddy Sexual harassment is any kind of inappropriate sexual behaviour (from actual touching to language) that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Examples of harassment include unwanted pinching or touching, obscene or sexually suggestive remarks / displays, sexist behaviour, unwanted requests for sexual behaviour, and threatened, attempted, or complete sexual assault. Bad attitude Harassment at school is a difficult issue, because in many situations a 'boys will be boys' attitude is adopted and the school may not have any really well-enforced ways of holding the harasser accountable. Many female teens (and adults for that matter) don't have the confidence to stand up for themselves when being harassed. Not just for boys Harassment isn't just restricted to guys either. Every day, male and female teens use sexually charged conduct as a weapon against each other. In some cases it's unintentional, like if a guy or girl comes on a bit heavy. Even so, it's important to make it clear when attention isn't wanted or warranted. The best thing to do is to politely but firmly ask the person to stop. Get help If the behaviour doesn't stop, or if the harasser is intimidating others as well, you need to get some help. Talk to a teacher or counsellor that you trust. But what if it's just flirting? There's a fine line sometimes between flirting and harassment, but, in general, harassment is an one-sided activity that makes you feel bad, while flirting is a two-way activity that makes you feel good about yourself.
Female sexBody stuff Irregular periods When you first start your periods, they can be really irregular. Periods may be completely unpredictable until you start to ovulate regularly. Periods of light to heavy bleeding may be followed by no periods for two or three months at a time. It may take up to three years for things to settle down. Things like stress, losing lots of weight, travel and disruption to your routine can also cause irregular periods. If your period is late, it could be due to these reasons, so worrying about it may delay it even further. However, it could be a sign of pregnancy. If you usually have regular periods, have not been sexually active and miss your period for more than three months, you should go to your GP for advice. Bleeding between periods Spotting or bleeding between periods should always be investigated by your GP. The majority of cases are not serious and may be due to hormonal changes, but they can indicate other gynaecological problems, so it's important to seek advice. Discharge Most women usually have a discharge from their vagina, which is like a whitish stain in your knickers and is completely natural. However, if you notice any change in your usual discharge, it may be a sign of an infection, so it's best to seek advice. Common infections, such as thrush, urethritis, chlamydia, and bacterial vaginosis can all be treated. But ignoring them could lead to further complications - for example, untreated chlamydia can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and even infertility (when you can't have a baby) and can cause problems for men, too. Treatment for most infections is simple - your GP may be able to treat them, or you could go to your nearest sexual health clinic (sometimes called a 'GUM' or 'STD' clinic) or young people's clinic. Relationship stuff Fancy girls instead of guys? If you can't get your mind off that hot girl you met at football last Tuesday, you probably won't feel like joining when all your pals are sharing notes over the lads they love. You might even feel like the odd one out. But keep in mind that lusting after a girl is a normal thing and, whether you're just experimenting or think you're gay, there's nothing to be ashamed about. Playing it cool Love can be tricky, whether you're straight or gay. If you've got a crush on a girl, it's probably a good idea to find out if she likes girls too before you take it a step further. When to talk It's your choice whether or not you talk about how you feel. While some people won't understand, you don't have to necessarily keep your feelings secret. Telling your friends can be a difficult decision, but if they're trustworthy and supportive (they're your friends after all) you might find it helps to talk to them. What if you like girls and boys? Being bi doesn't mean your some kind of weirdo. A lot of sex experts (including the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud) think that everyone is bisexual but that, as we grow up, we are 'socialised' (convinced by society) to be heterosexual. While society is becoming more tolerant towards people being gay, bisexuality isn't as well understood. You'll need to be as honest as possible with your partner.
Male sexBody stuff Anyone who is sexually active - having a sexual relationship - is at risk of catching a sexually transmitted infection (STI). STIs are infections that can be passed from one person to another through vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Some STIs, like pubic lice and genital warts, can even be passed on through close contact of the genitals. STIs are very common and you don't need to have had lots of sexual partners to get one. Genital warts If you think you may have genital warts on your penis, (they're usually smallish lumps around the base of the penis), see your GP or go to your nearest sexual health clinic. Genital warts are caused by a virus, which can't be cured, but the warts themselves can be easily treated. They can easily be passed on during sexual activity - using a condom can reduce the risk of passing them on, as well as avoiding sex while you have an outbreak of warts. Impotence Impotence - or problems with getting or maintaining an erection - affects most men at some time. This is not usually a cause for concern - in fact, it is often the worry itself that causes the problem! Things like having too much alcohol or the worry of starting a new sexual relationship can affect your ability to get an erection or keep it up, as can stress and worry. Often, men worry about how they will perform sexually, and feel that they need to keep an erection for hours on end to be a good lover. This is not the case - try talking to your partner about your worries, as this may help. If the problem persists, and you can't stop worrying about it, you could go and see your doctor. If the doctor feels it is necessary, there are now very good treatments for impotence and, even if you do need treatment, it won't necessarily be for life. Another important reason for seeking medical advice is that impotence may indicate a circulatory problem - which may be a warning sign of cardiovascular problems - so it is a good idea to get it checked out. Relationship stuff There's a certain assumption that guys have to be studs or that they can't get enough of sex. But this is not always so. Don't be pressurised into having sex for the first time before you're really ready. We're often made to feel boring, immature and unattractive if we don't have sex. It's true that people do start having sex younger these days but, on average, it actually occurs a good deal later than most people imagine. Memorable sex The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyle recently reported that the vast majority of men - two-thirds of men - don't have sex until their late teens. Research also suggests that people who delay losing their virginity until their late teens are more likely to have an enjoyable and memorable experience and that their decisions are more likely to be based on feelings of love and romance. Sex doesn't always mean sex Just because you don't have sex doesn't mean you aren't sexually active. A virgin is someone who's never had sexual intercourse, not someone who doesn't have an active sex life. You think you're gay? It's common for guys to ask themselves if they are gay and to wonder about their own sexuality. But it is only through the slow process of sexual development that an individual learns and recognises his or her sexual preferences. Being gay or bisexual is not a disorder or an abnormality; like heterosexuality, they are legitimate sexual identities. But there are no universal guidelines to identify heterosexual, gay or bisexual identities. They are just words that we use to define our own - or others' - sexual identities and you don't have to use these words to describe your sexual orientation if you don't want to. It's worth remembering that, while some people are sure they're gay from an early age, others only discover it later in life. Teenage sexual experimentation is common and a few casual encounters with someone of the same sex would not necessarily mean you are gay - even if it included kissing and masturbation. Also, fantasising about someone of the same sex doesn't necessarily mean you are gay. There's no right way to work out exactly what your feelings are, just try to be patient and pay attention to your feelings and sexual urges and eventually you will be able to work it out for yourself.
The PillWhat is the pill? The combined pill (referred to as 'the pill') is the most popular type of birth control in the UK. The pill contains two hormones - oestrogen and progestogen - which are similar to the natural hormones women produce in their ovaries. Use There are many different brands of pills, each of which has different combinations of oestrogen and progestogen. You either take one pill a day for 21 days (21 day or phasic pills) or one pill a day for 28 days (28 day pills). Each type of pill has its advantages and disadvantages, so it is worth becoming familiar with each type and with the different brands available. How effective is it? How effective any contraceptive is depends on how old you are, how often you have sex and whether you follow the instructions. The pill is 97 to 99.9 percent effective as birth control. It does not protect against STIs, so condoms should also be used for full protection against STIs, such as HIV/AIDS. Advantages
The EggPregnancy Every month a women produces one (yes, only one) egg. You might think that means you've only got an itty bitty chance of getting pregnant. Not so. When guys ejaculate their semen contains 40 million to 600 million sperms. Here's a few other things you need to know. Without protection you can get pregnant even if:
If you've had unprotected sex within the last five days, or think that your contraception might have failed (like a condom splitting or missing a pill), emergency contraception can usually prevent a pregnancy. There are two types of emergency contraception available: Emergency contraceptive pills Also known as the 'morning after pill', emergency contraceptive pills must be taken within 72 hours (three days) of unprotected sex. It's important to take them as soon as possible after unprotected sex because they're more effective the sooner you take them. You can get the pills free from GPs who provide contraceptive services, family planning clinics, some sexual health clinics and some Hospital Accident & Emergency departments and NHS walk-in centres - but phone to check first. Pharmacies: Emergency contraceptive pills are also available direct from pharmacies if you're over 16 - but at a cost (2003) of £24.99. Emergency contraception is not as effective as using other methods of contraception regularly. IUD An IUD - or intrauterine device - must be fitted within five days of unprotected sex. It should be put in by a specially trained doctor or nurse at either a family planning clinic, young people's clinic, or possibly by your GP.
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