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  Body Positive  
 Slim
fastDear Donna I went shopping to buy some trousers and I'm a size 14'. I used to be a size 12. I feel like such a hippo. What am I going to do? I'm thinking about going on a liquid diet before my date. What's the best way to lose weight fast? Thanks Chi Chi Dear Chi Chi You may think you're the size of a hippo but this simply isn't possible. If you were that big, you'd be in a zoo. And that would be wrong and you'd get a lot of media attention and a cruelty-to-humans-in-zoos campaign would start and maybe, just maybe, you'd begin to realise it was no good worrying about how big you were in the first place. What makes you think you're the wrong size? What size are you supposed to be? And who says? Remember that no clothing sizes in the UK are consistent. UK clothing sizes - which aren't followed by all manufacturers - are based on measurements of women in 1951. Not exactly realistic, is it? All bodies are different shapes and sizes and different body shapes have been fashionable at different times. These days, fashion magazines are increasingly glamourising smaller and smaller women, while women on average are getting bigger. It's about not comparing yourself to other people but about being happy about who you are, respecting your natural body shape and replacing negative thoughts with positive accepting ones. Liquid diets are completely unhealthy. You'll basically just be starving yourself to be thin. There are staggering numbers of girls who suffer from eating disorders. Make no mistake: anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating are deadly. Stop yourself before you get caught in that trap. Put on your favourite shirt. Ring up a friend, who you know will be supportive and tell you good things about yourself. If you do feel you need to get in shape, do it sensibly, not by dieting, which doesn't work, but by eating healthily and exercising. When all else fails, spare a thought for 12 year old Jung , who is worried she's overweight. Her mum caught her pinching fat on her stomach the other day. She's 7 stone. And she's 12 years old. Regards, Donna
PoserDear Donna I can't afford all the latest gear. I'm working at weekends and my parents won't give me any pocket money. All my money is going into looking good. I've got a new girlfriend who I really like, and I want to impress her. How can I be sure I'm getting the right stuff ? Thanks Jake Dear Jake Life isn't all about grebo's, rude girls, rude boys or pop star glam. Spending £120 on trainers doesn't make you more attractive. Style is a personal thing and it's about more than the brands you wear. It's about the statement you make as an individual - minus all the paraphernalia. You may like the look of designer gear, but have you considered what kind of a statement you make when you wear brand name clothes? Top brand names have been affiliated with sweatshops in developing countries. That's sweatshop as in 'manual labour for underaged kids', not sweatshop as in 'really cool sports clothing shop'. If your new girlfriend likes you, she like you. It won't matter what you're wearing. Remember, if you're spending half your wages on looking good, and the kid who makes your clothes is spending all of his time working in slave labour, something's a bit wrong with the picture. Regards, Donna
In the spotlightDear Donna I don't know how much worse it could get than this. I keep getting spots on my neck and back. I'm 18. It's not supposed to be like this. I look like some kind of chip-eating, deep-fried-Mars-bar addict. When I play football on Sundays, I can't even take off my shirt when it gets hot, as i'm so embarrassed about people seeing my acne. What am I going to do? Thanks Jake Dear Jake The good thing about spots is that everyone gets them. Yes, even the pretty people that stare out from the covers of glossy mags. You just don't get to see them in real life. You see them after they've been airbrushed. After the wrinkles have been removed, spots covered up, double chins taken off. But that probably gives you no comfort whatsoever. Acne isn't caused by not washing (although dead skin cells can clog your pores), eating crisps or masturbating. You get spots when your skin's sebaceous glands get clogged with oil, sweat or grime and then become infected with bacteria. You get spots on your face, the back and the chest because these areas contain lots of sebaceous glands. Hormones during puberty cause spots and stress causes some people to break out. So, spots are normal for people you age - but if spots are destroying your soul, do something about it. As soon as you get a spot, dab it with an over-the-counter cream from the chemist. Ask you pharmacist for advice on which cream to get. If you get spots all the time and they don't seem to be going away, see your doctor. She can prescribe creams or pills to clear them up. Don't squeeze your spots because that can cause scarring. Regards, Donna
Eye cluesDear Donna You're meant to be able to tell what someone is thinking by the look in their eyes. But my boyfriend Jake didn't really seem to look at me at all last time I saw him. And what's really bad is that I think he thinks I'm weird because I was staring at him the whole time. How can I get him to notice me? My friend has coloured contacts. I was thinking of borrowing them for a change, to make my eyes stand out. Thanks Chi Chi Dear Chi Chi Even if Jake's hot, it's not cool to stare at him, salivating! Borrowing contacts? Hang on. Contacts may look great but you do need to be careful when using them. Even if contacts are non-prescription, swapping them means you're also swapping bacteria. Not only could you get a nasty eye infection, like conjunctivitis, but you could also pick up viruses that can cause permanent eye damage - or even blindness. If you must have tinted lenses, go out and buy your own - and make sure you get them properly fitted by an optician. The thing is, though, that eyes are really beautiful things, all on their lonesome. They sparkle and glisten and twinkle. And when you smile they get even prettier. The most important thing about all of this isn't about Jake noticing you - it's about how you can better notice yourself. You'll stand out when you have confidence in yourself. Regards, Donna
Cosmetic surgeryDear Donna I know breasts aren't supposed to matter but everyone else seems to have perfect breasts. My breasts are an okay size but that's it - they're just okay. When you look at models, their breasts are perfect. How can I live up to Halle Berry? I feel like I don't even have a chance. I'm thinking I should get breast implants. Thanks Chi Chi Dear Chi Chi Okay, let me help bring you back down to earth. Celebrities are no women to model yourself after. You never see them in real life. You only see the manufactured snapshot-in-time moments that film or print wants you to see. To be honest, surgery - make no mistake about this, you have got to go under the knife to get your breasts done - is often a whole lot of grief for a whole lot of nothing. Breast implant operations aren't as painless or straightforward as they're made out to be. A lot of things can go wrong. Ever heard of keloid scars? How about breasts turning hard as coconuts when implants get covered in scar tissue? How about breast implants ending up being different sizes? Ever consider the possibility of permanently numb nipples? What about droopy breasts? Two breasts merging into one? Implants leaking? Deflation? Rippling? Sloshing? These are just a handful of the common complications that can occur after breast augmentation surgery. You're only seventeen, so keep in mind that your body probably hasn't finished developing yet either. While it may seem like you've finished growing, breasts have a funny way of sprouting later in life. Just go on your date and see what happens. And if you really feel you need an extra boost, why don't you go bra shopping? There are so many different styles out there - push-up bras, water bras, underwire bras - they're like some kind of miracle invention. Much better option than losing pints of blood on the operating table. Regards, Donna
Bad hair dayDear Donna My dad is really bald. I look at him and I can feel my hair falling out. I started shaving my head so that people would get used to seeing me without hair. My brother calls me Lex Luthor to torment me. I'm really starting to worry that, by the time I am 22, I'll be completely bald. I know that all night Chi is going to be staring at my head. Is there anything I can do? Thanks Jake Dear Jake Here's something that will reassure you. Lex Luthor is bald because he got hit by a lightning bolt in the middle of a corn field (well, on the TV show Smallville, anyway). The chances of you getting hit by lightening are 1 in 14 million (the same as winning the national lottery) and, even if you did get hit by lightning, you probably wouldn't go bald. In fact, you probably won't ever go completely bald. But going completely bald probably isn't the thing you're worried about. It's much more likely that you're concerned with a receding hairline. And, yes, sorry to say, in all likelihood, as you age your hairline is going to recede and you are going to lose some of your hair. There are of course other reasons for hair loss than aging such as vitamin deficiencies or stress - things that you can do something about (so eat healthily and stop worrying!) The other thing that should be really reassuring is that for anyone around you to notice that you are losing hair, you have to lose about 50 percent of the hairs on your head. Of course, there are things you can do about hair loss. The first rule: don't use spray-on hair. Now that we've got that out of the way, when you think things are getting really bad, you can always look into hair grafting, or you can opt for the non-surgical treatments that slow hair loss, such as lotions which you apply to your scalp. Of course, the downside of using these products is that, since you have to keep using them, it can get quite expensive. Jake, you're a nice guy! This is your first date. She's not going to be looking at your head. She's going to be looking into your eyes. Regards, Donna
PiercingDear Donna My mum didn't mind me having my ears pierced when I was 14 but I haven't told her that I'm thinking of getting my tongue pierced. I think I can keep it a secret. I was going to get it done tomorrow, but that's the day before my date. What do you think? Thanks Chi Chi Dear Chi Chi To be honest, it's pretty hard to keep a tongue piercing secret. You can't keep your mouth shut forever, and eventually your mum's going to hear it clicking against your teeth. There are some practical considerations, you need to think about. Apart from bleeding and scarring, tongue piercing can cause nerve damage and jewellery can crack or chip teeth. Choking on mouth jewellery is also a concern. It's not really feasible to get your tongue pierced right before your date. A tongue piercing is really painful for first five days, and all you'll be able to do is drink lukewarm soup. Also, the risk of infection in the mouth is quite high and increases the possibility of transmission of HIV, hepatitis B and C, herpes simplex virus (linked to cold scores), and Epstein-Barr virus (causes glandular fever). If you do decide to get a piercing, make sure you do some research first. Get it done professionally at a reputable piercing studio. Piercing studios should be clean, they should have an autoclave, use sterile needles stored in sterile packages and disposed of after use, gloves, and non-allergenic jewellery. Follow up the procedure with proper aftercare to cut down on the health risks. Life wouldn't be all that sweet if you ended up like the 28-year-old woman who featured in a report in the British Dental Journal. Her tongue got infected, swelled and totally encased a barbell piercing. She had to have surgery to remove it. Regards, Donna
Pump itDear Donna I've always been pretty skinny so it's not like I'm a fat pig. My sister's obsessed with Keanu Reeves and there are posters of his six pack all over the wall. How's a guy to compete? Thanks Jake Dear Jake Don't bust a gut. In print ads and films, washboard stomachs with strum-able muscles show up all over the place. But that doesn't mean that 'fab abs' are the norm. Despite what the media would like you to believe, getting a six pack is more a matter of genetics than how much you workout. A lot of really great looking guys don't have six packs. So, take your vitamins. But take it easy with the workouts too. Thomas Holbrook almost died because he wanted to be fit. He started pretty tame - just by counting calories - then became obsessive about protein, surviving on Slim Fast and 12 egg whites a day. He built a pool in his basement and swam in place, tethered to the wall. He walked for six hours a day and biked until he almost passed out. Now he doesn't think that anorexia is a girl's disease, and neither should you. Regards, Donna
Skin deepDear Donna Chi has a tattoo on her arm. I think it's a bit over the top. What am I going to tell her if she asks if I like it? Thanks Jake Dear Jake You tell her the same thing you told your dear old gran when she gave you that jumper she knitted herself when the pain from her arthritis subsided enough, so that she could actually hold the knitting needles. If you're a nasty boy and would tell her what you really think, shame on you. You better brush up on your manners, pretty darn quick. It's not that I'm actually advocating lying. I'm just suggesting you exercise a little caution. It might just be that her tattoo actually means something. Tattoos have long been associated with rites of initiation or used to mark memorable events, such as falling in love. Celebrities Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie celebrated their undying passion not only by getting his and hers tattoos, but by wearing vials filled with each other's blood around their necks. But you're right, there's a fine line between something being socially acceptable and something making you a social pariah. Some cultures don't consider tattoos appropriate (David Beckman had to wear a long sleeve shirt during World Cup matches in Japan to cover up the tattoo on his arm). There's another reason that body modification raises eyebrows. There are health risks. Non-sterile tattooing practices greatly increase the risk of transmission of HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B, and hepatitis C. You can have an allergic reaction to the tattoo pigments and tongue studs can chip teeth. And, while you can remove tattoos with lasers and take out body piercings they do leave scars. If she asks you what you think about her tattoo, wait a while before you put your heart on the table. Unless, of course, she suggests that you get matching nipple rings. Then, be my guest, lay it all on the line. Politely, of course. Regards, Donna
SMLXLDear Donna This is a really touchy subject but I don't think I'm big enough. I look in the mirror everyday and it seems really small. What's a guy to do? Thanks Jake Dear Jake Here's a newsflash: you don't have to pull down your pants the first time you meet a girl. On date numero uno, you can worry about things like conversation and leave the serious stuff until you know for sure that she's the girl you want to share every bit of yourself with. Small, Medium, Large, Extra Large. Look, we're not talking eggs here. There is no standard penis size. Let me fill you in on the big secret. Despite what all the spam you get in your inbox has you thinking, size doesn't matter. It's who you are that does. Yep, that home-grown advice rings especially true in this situation. What's more, keep this one little thing in mind: the less attention you focus on yourself, the more attention you'll give to someone else, which has the strange effect of demonstrating how little size really matters.And, while you can remove tattoos with lasers and take out body piercings they do leave scars. So, don't rush things. When the time is right, it'll come along. Regards, Donna
SweatDear Donna I sweat so much. And it's even worse when I get nervous. I get big wet patches under my armpits and I stink like sweaty socks. How do I keep smelling sweet? Thanks Jake Dear Jake Big wet rings of sweat. Now, that's beautiful. You've got your very own personal swimming pools, right under your armpits. Don't feel so bad about the waterworks. Sweat is a miracle of the human body. It differentiates us from dogs (they sweat through their tongues) and lizards (they don't sweat at all). You have two kinds of sweat glands. Eccrine glands are all over your body. They release a salty liquid that cools you off (so your head doesn't explode). Apocrine glands are the body-odour culprits. They produce a milky substance that regulates sweating and are found in the groin and underarm areas. We start to smell when apocrine reacts with the bacteria on our skin. First let me say that, in all likelihood, it's probably just you who thinks you stink. Remember that you can get your nose pretty close to your armpit, whereas that's a pretty unnatural place for the other people around you to be. There's some other good news. You can stop the smell before it starts: Wash your armpits daily with an antibacterial soap. These soaps reduce the number of bacteria that live on your skin, so there's nothing for the apocrine to react with. If the problem doesn't soon clear up, you might try a prescription soap (ask your chemist or doctor). You can also try benzoyl peroxide or an antibacterial ointment. But keep in mind, it's only okay to use these for a short while and you need to be sure to follow all instructions BEFORE using them. Use a deodorant or anti-perspirant with aluminium or zinc (these metals kill bacteria). If you really, really want to stop sweating, look for antiperspirant containing aluminium chloride. Also, no one says you can't actually bring your pit stick along with you on your date, so throw it in your bag. Or look for some deodorant wipes at the chemists. Wash your clothes regularly (bacteria lives in sweaty clothes) and use a stain remover under the arms of your shirts for extra measure. (This will also help remove any lingering deodorant or anti-perspirant residue). Watch the caffeine! Cola, tea, coffee, chocolate, basically anything with caffeine increases the amount of aprocrine your body produces. Drink lots of water (eight glasses day) and avoid spicy foods. Because odours come out through the pores, what you eat can actually affect how you smell! Regards, Donna
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