First off, apologies for the tardiness of this week's press site round-up. I know that many millions of you view this as the high point of your professional life (indeed, some have suggested it's all they have to live for) but I was using my last day of annual leave. I wouldn't trust the bearded monkey who was filling in for me to write his own name in faeces, let alone do a weekly update. I myself spent this precious last day of leave on the M1, with two screaming children and a shouty Scottish lady. We'd been on a long weekend in a static caravan just outside Hull. Look up ‘glamour' in the OED and there's a picture of us.
Anyway, last week the site wasn't bursting with new content, but what it lacked in quantity it made up for threefold in self-satisfaction. We almost broke the smug-o-meter when we conquered all before us at an utterly triumphant RTS awards (sorry, old habits...) We also topped the Broadcast survey of Independent Production Companies for best broadcaster, which had us all cuddling ourselves and doing love bites on our own arms. And we were nominated for six One World Media awards. On current form, we'll probably win seven of them.
In amongst all this, we also announced the appointment of Tom Porter as News and Current Affairs comm ed. Welcome to multi-award-winning C4, Tom. No pressure. But, you know, we have our standards...
When we weren't staggering around clutching bottles of Bolly and air-kissing ourselves, we were announcing more programmes (or ‘future award-winners' as we like to call them). Crucifixion will look at both the cultural history and iconic status of the crucifix, and examine Gunther von Hagens' latest project, creating a crucifix. It promises to be 90-minutes of knockabout fun. Okay, it doesn't, but it promises to be fascinating, challenging and educational.
We also announced the launch of a cutting-edge virtual tour of Damien Hirst's first-ever retrospective in the UK - to be unveiled two days before the landmark show at Tate Modern opens to the public. Channel 4 will also screen two documentaries about the artist. Good, huh? (Unless you're a shark, of course).
And another season of Coming Up is on the way. Coming Up is the drama strand that allows up-and-coming writers and directors to showcase their work. Mystifyingly, my drama, about a romance between a bald press website editor and Angelina Jolie, was overlooked. Philistines.
Interviews and video
We did not do none of this stuff. Soz.
As ever, we updated Programme Information with, um, information about programmes here.
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And be sure to write nice stuff about C4, or I'll invite you on my next holiday.