Welcome to the first of what could be one, or what could be many hundreds, of weekly round-ups on the Channel 4 Digital Press Centre.
This email will summarise all the thrilling, jaw-dropping and edge-of-your-seat, pant-wettingly amazing content* we have put up on the press site over the last seven days, lest you missed some of it (bad, BAD journalist).
Before we get started, I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank all of the hard workers who made it possible for this site to be recognised at last night's Oscars. It's not one of the so-called blue-riband awards, but we were given the Oscar for Best Original Song used by a Website for our smash hit "Do the Press Centre Krump (Groovy Funkadelic Jello remix)". Modesty forbids me from mentioning that this is my second Oscar (following my 1997 win for best haircut in a foreign language film, for my wedge-mullet in the Iranian film The Story of the Asthmatic Snail.)
Apparently Iron Lady won a couple of awards too (is it about Iron Man's wife?) so bully for us.
The cast of Skins. (Okay, it's The Iron Lady.)
Anyway, last week was a busy one on the site. If you were too busy hacking phones/deleting emails/launching new titles/writing that latest must-see story about Kelly Brook going shopping, you may have missed some of these beauties.
Dr James Logan - Embarrassing Bodies has taken on a tropical disease specialist. He's lovely, but we had no intention of shaking his hand. Have you seen the stuff they touch?
Cardinal Burns - Head of the Church of Comedy, Cardinal Burns is actually the comedic duo of Seb Cardinal and Dustin Demri Burns. Catch their new sketch show, it is utterly brilliant. I would say that, obviously, but this is one of those rare occasions when I'm not even lying.
Last week, we were very delighted to win a court case. I have no idea what else I'm allowed to say, as my degree was in politics, not law, and even then it was 20 years ago and I slept through all of it. We also launched a new Facejacker app, which is so dazzlingly clever and hi-tec (something about your TV communicating with your phone via hidden triggers) that it makes my ears hurt. And we won some very significant and important awards for our superb on-screen journalism, notably for the brilliant Sri Lanka's Killing Fields.
The Fame Report.
Channel 4 is known for being the home of a brilliant Digital Press Centre, but it also transmits television programmes. Last week, we announced Double Your House for Half the Money, with the delightful Sarah Beeny; a one-off look at celebrity with Pamela Stephenson, The Fame Report; a follow-up to the brilliant Educating Essex; and the Wan and only Gok getting his wok out in Gok Cooks Chinese.
Personally, I find press packs a dreadful bore - they take ages to put up, and not only that, they take ages to put up. (Sorry, I didn't really have a second reason). Anyway, you seem to like them, so we added ones for Make Bradford British; Mary's Bottom Line; and Embarrassing Bodies.
Mary's Bottom Line (in case you couldn't read these exact same words in the picture).
We also uploaded the latest press information for Big Fat Gypsy Weddings; Gok Wan: Made in China; One Born Every Minute; Shameless; Mary's Bottom Line; and Embarrassing Bodies. Now we're absolutely bushed.
Right. That's all from me. Hopefully there will be another of these round-ups next Monday. If you want it to happen, you have to wish really, really hard, children. And write nice things about Channel 4 a lot. If you don't, I'll spend the time I would have taken to write this, standing outside your house wearing this.
If you want to avoid missing stories on the press site, sign up to our daily email alert here.
*And the boring corporate stuff too.