C4 choir in quest for Xmas No 1
What have the following got in common? Benny Hill, Leon Jackson, Mr Blobby, Cliff Richard and Bob the Builder? No, it's not that they've all signed up for the next Celebrity Big Brother. No, it's not even that they were all in my particularly weird, semi-sexy dream last night (although they were - I must cut out that evening Gouda). No, it's that they have all been Christmas Number One.
Now it's time to add a new name to the list, with the news that the Channel 4 choir (which, of course, had to be called The 4Tunes) has launched its own assault on the ears - sorry, on the Christmas top-spot - with a brilliant cover of East 17's undeniably excellent ballad Stay Another Day.
The single has all the makings of a Yuletide hit. It's for charity (as with Xmas No 1s Band Aid, Band Aid II, Band Aid 20, Band Aid Please Stop It Now Will You, Military Wives) it's been sung by a choir (Military Wives, St Winifred's School Choir) it's got a gorgeous video featuring a string of beautiful people* (Bob the Builder) and it's a deliciously soupy ballad that makes you want to cuddle a puppy (Rage Against the Machine - sample lyric: F*** you I won't do what you tell me).
So, why should you buy this single, which, incidentally, is available on iTunes? Well, firstly, all proceeds go to Crisis at Christmas. Secondly, it sounds ruddy marvellous, like bathing your ears in pleasantly-warmed blancmange while having an ocelot massage your adrenal glands. And thirdly, it might keep the X Factor single off the top of the charts. That's right, Cowell, that's right, ITV, we're coming for you. WE ARE COMING FOR YOU! And this time, we're wearing really cosy-looking puffa jackets and singing in harmony. Ha! Take that! Kapow!
*and a weird, bug-eyed fella with a beard.