WHITE GIRLS ARE EASY
Writer – Tony Snow

Do white women really deserve the reputation of being labeled easy? Does the same notion really do justice to the complexity of black masculinity and interracial relationships? And where does this leave black women who by this reasoning, are paying the price in being ignored by black men for being seen as too self-reliant – read hard.

Publisher and broadcaster, Dotun Adebayo who presents White Girls Are Easy discovers that this way of thinking seems popular among black men. Most white heterosexual men are likely to dismiss the notion outright.

'Ray', a black man, who has reached his mid 30s without ever dating a black woman, offers some insight into the debate. His theory is that white women are not necessarily easy, just easier than black women.

His take on the issue is not uncommon because like many black men, he has capitalised on the notions that eternally surround black masculinity – such as virility and being well equipped. Indeed Ray's courting ritual is exclusively based around and dependent on it.

While out clubbing he embarks on a series of stage-managed moves once he has a girl in his sights.He usually begins with a grand entrance; a slick move on the dance floor to grab the attention. Then in deliberately unsubtle fashion will sidle up to the target and his ice-breaker consists of grinding his hips in close proximity as she looks adoringly on.

His technique, which is based entirely on the brazen confidence he exudes, proves highly successful with white women. The thought of trying a similar technique on black women sends shivers down his spine. "It's not that I don't like black women" he points out. "It is just that I have always assumed that black women would never be impressed by that sort of thing. They may think ' yeah you're a good dancer - so what?' I never had the nerve to risk it."

Ray suspects that this fear has been brought about by the prevailing nature of black women. "They tend to come across as very inhibited and more concerned about how they will be perceived." For Ray flirting and acting sexually provocatively is "all part of the game", but he feels black women are reluctant to adopt this role. However he firmly believes that if he could crack this outer layer, then there is a soft centre, but he admits that he has never developed the weaponry to chisel away at this 'case hardened shell'.

Statistics put Ray in the majority. A black man is 60 per cent more likely to have a relationship with a white woman. Historians may point to the legacy of slavery which gave greater desirability to women with a lighter skin tone.

For white women inter-racial dating still remains a novelty. There are approximately half a million black men in Britain, but over 25 million white women. Perhaps some white women that opt for black partners do so out of curiosity and to experience first hand if the prevailing myths around black manhood are true. In order to find a black partner, such women may make themselves more available than to white suitors, thus reinforcing the reputation that they are easy game. Some white women may be drawn to black men because of their confidence and ability to assert their masculinity to a greater degree than many white men.

But love does not discriminate. If two individuals find a connection, race and culture are immaterial. Adults in their 20s and 30s, possess fewer taboos about inter-racial dating and than their parents did in the 1960s. A hybrid culture has emerged as a result of 50 years of multiculturalism from which younger generations from all races can tap into. However where cultural differences due to religion and language remain more apparent, as in the case of British Asians, there is less inter-racial dating.

There is now a further twist with the emergence of a 'new breed' of white woman who date black men. She is the independent go-getter, who is strong willed and takes control of her own life and relationships in much the same manner that black women have been doing for years.

Was the resilience and independent spirit of black women the catalyst for the failure of black men to sustain relationships with them? If that was the case, who will black men turn to, now that white women have cultivated similar traits?

Will black men finally move into the 21st century and learn that in modern relationships control must be shared? Or will they simply move on to the next unsuspecting racial group?

Black women are no longer waiting for Black men to decide. It is apparent that they now are the next big movers into the inter-racial arena. The traditional conventions surrounding dating have been blown out of the water, and quite literally, everyone is up for grabs these days.