Polyamory

Your chance to have your say about polyamory.

The Issues

• Two in five UK marriages now end in divorce; infidelity is the main cause of around a third of all marriage break-ups. These statistics point to the fact that monogamy doesn't seem to be working. Is it time that we considered a modern alternative to monogamy?



• Polyamory refers to the practice of having a consensual, loving relationship that involves more than two people.



• It differs from 'polygamy' which is the state of being married to more than one person. It also differs from someone having an affair because a key idea of polyamorous relationships is that they are open and take place with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.



• Similarly, it should not be confused with swinging; while swinging is about recreational sex, polyamory refers to a way of structuring relationships.



• There is no single definition of polyamory that is accepted by everyone. People who practice polyamory are keen to point out that there are no 'rules' to a polyamorous relationship and there are a wide variety of configurations of polyamorous relationships.



• Polyamorists argue that their relationships are defined by honest negotiation between those in the relationship, rather than by the dictates of our society and culture.



• Critics of polyamory have argued that in dividing love between several partners, love is lessened. However, polyamorists argue back that love is infinite: there is no limit to how much love you can give or receive.



• The problems of jealousy that beset many polyamorous relationships are seen by some as a sign that polyamory doesn't work and is somehow a moral failing. But polyamorists recognise that jealousy is a natural human condition and therefore try to see it as an opportunity for character building.



• Critics of polyamory also argue that if you truly love someone, you shouldn't want someone else. Polyamorists point out that polyamory a very personal thing that will not suit everyone. They argue that some people who are not happy with the more traditional monogamous arrangements may find that they are happier in a polyamorous situation.



• Polyamorists argue that the key to successful polyamorous relationships is open, honest communication. However, the same could also be said for successful monogamous relationships.



• Perhaps we should see polyamory and monogamy as equally valid ways of life, with the best choice depending on the individual.

What do you think?