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How can I get my son to eat different foods?
My son is three in October and will only eat certain foods. He will not even try anything new and is always pushing his plate away. I have tried everything.
I have now got to the point where I give him what I know he will eat to save a stressful time at the table. I have tried encouraging him with offering something nice for a bite of apple, and also played eating games... nothing will he try!
Any answers for a frustrated mother?
Redlmw
The fact that your son only wants to eat certain foods is being backed up by a mother who is only giving him those foods. And it adds to the validation that anything he wants control over in mealtimes, you will back up. You say you try and offer him something nice for a bite of apple. This is where the problem stems from. Who says that an apple is bad or not nice? You've labelled the food subconsciously. You're saying to him that the apple is not nice. You've labelled food in his head as what's nice and what's not nice. So, something nice will be what he likes to eat. But an apple is not nice. Get it?
Next: Why won't my children eat cooked vegetables?
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You're missing the bigger picture. It's about introducing our kids to healthier foods and not labelling healthy foods as being not nice. Everything for a three-year-old should be good if you're giving it to them, right? Always give your child healthy options. And the things that he likes to eat, which are probably in this case the processed foods or the sweets, are the little treats that he's going to have every now and then.
He's also at the age where he's fighting for a bit of independence as well. So if he's a very strong-willed child, and very defiant in wanting to control everything, then he'll also take that attitude to mealtimes as well. He will fight for control. Getting him to try different things is what your challenge is going to be. That means you need to address subconsciously how you label foods at the beginning so that everything is nice. Everything is healthy.
You need to make sure that you've established three mealtimes a day for him. If he doesn't try any of the foods at breakfast, lunch or dinner then he doesn't get any snacks in between. If the snacks in between are the "nice foods" then why is a three-year-old going to eat something that is "not nice" at mealtimes? So they don't see it for what it is; it's an apple. Or it's an orange, which has got lots of vitamin C. It's about educating yourself with that and how you approach foods, so that you don't give the wrong message to your son.
If he is starting to misbehave and be very defiant, you should recognise that it's about control at the table. Get him involved with the food, take him to the supermarket and let him pick out a vegetable that he wants to try that week. Let him wash it. And then let him try a piece of it.
But this is about you and your attitude; you've got to stop labelling the food.
You need as much perseverance and patience as your son has strong will. Keep at it. Change your train of thought - you will change and he will change. This is a fact - I've seen it umpteen times.
Best wishes,
Jo
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