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I'm struggling to potty train my daughter - please help
My daughter is two-and-a-half and I have been trying on and off for about six months to potty train her. She will hold it in all day, and even though she will sit on the toilet, she won't actually go on it - the second she gets off, she will wee on the floor.
I'm not sure if she is aware that she has to go yet. She can tell me when she has been but not that she needs to go. Do I wait a little while longer and try again, or keep at it? I'm not sure my carpet will take much more wee on it!
Sminky74
The first clue here is that you say 'my daughter is two-and-a-half years old and I've been trying on and off for months.' There is no 'on and off' with potty training. You're either doing it or you're not and when you differ between 'on and off' you really confuse the child.
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It doesn't encourage the child to move forward, because it shows them that they've got so far, and then you've taken them back to square one again. So if you are going to do it, then you've got to do it. If you know that your daughter is at the right point, if you sense it and you've got good communication with her, then that is key.
What's happened is when it's 'on and off', 'on and off', your daughter is at a point where she's having fun with this situation (not intentionally).
What you need to do, because it's been six months, is these points:
- Make a decision. I'm going to potty train my child this week.
- Be very positive about achieving this.
- It's knickers or nothing. Knickers during the day and it's nappies during the night, there's no in between. If you go to the park, take a portable/travel potty with you.
- You need to prompt your daughter now to go to the toilet. Your daughter won't automatically just take herself off for a wee. Every time you take her out somewhere, prompt her to go. Make a mental note of the amount of fluid that she's been having and think 'oh, she needs to go for a wee now.' And prompt her to go. If you need to go, take your daughter in with you so she sees that this is a normal thing to do. When she does wee in her knickers, say 'oh no, we go on the potty, or we go in the toilet, you can feel it in your tummy there.' She may sit down and just push her tummy and just feel it. But what she needs now is lots of encouragement – you need to push your daughter forward to recognise what she needs to do now, and that is a good thing as a parent.
If there is a lack of communication, it decreases the chance of success as the child is visually able to see it, and can label her actions, but is unable to feel the sensation coming.
If you put your daughter down for an afternoon nap or a morning nap, and when you wake her up and the nappy is almost dry, then it's showing that she's getting good bladder control and you should probably just go for it now. 'On and off', 'on and off' doesn't work.
Best wishes,
Jo
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