Write into the Future

Why Write | Little Box of Thoughts | Wish Box | Letters for the Future | Sarah's Letter

Here is an example of a letter from a single mother writing to her eight-year-old daughter, Sarah. This letter had been written and filed away for 11 months. It was given to Sarah by her guardians, Susan and Dan, after her mother died and is now kept safely in her memory box.

Dear Sarah,

I am so, so, so, so sorry that you are reading this letter – I hoped you would never have to. I wish with all my heart that I was still alive and still with you and we could go on living our lives together.

You have been the most wonderful, marvellous, amazing daughter!! I have loved every single moment of being your mother and feel immensely proud to have you as my daughter.

I know you will be feeling sad. Desperately sad. You've had too much death in your life – too much death of those who love you – grandma, Bramble, Shelly-Hamster and the other animals. It's not fair on you – but please know that it's not something you're causing, it's just terribly unfair.

Please don't be afraid to love people in the future. It's the best thing to do! I wish I could be there now to comfort you. Isn't it sad that the one person who might be able to make it better is the one person who made it worse?

Cry all you can. Hug Big Ted and Liddly and sob. Hug humans too. Susan and Dan and grandma are all good for hugs. And when the time comes to stop crying – and it will – please stop. Don't feel bad about stopping, it's the right thing after a while. Please don't be sad for a long time… remember the happy times instead.

Remember all the good times. All the fun. All the love. We've had such good, good times, haven't we? Times at home with pets and toys and water fights and snuggles on the sofa. Times away on holiday. Times just travelling along in the car, chatting.

Talk about me a lot! Not in a sad way, but just keep remembering some funny and ordinary things – and then talk about them. I've written some memories down but I know you'll think of loads more.

Some days won't be as good as others. You might feel angry, lonely, afraid, confused. Talk to other people about how you feel. There are two things that worry me…one is that you might feel uncomfortable about some of the times when we've argued. Sarah, listen to me… forget this. It's not important. All that's important is how much we loved each other (and we really did) and all the goodness and joy we had between us.

The other thing that concerns me is your occasional lack of confidence and belief in yourself – like when you say you don't want to do something because you might fail. Please remember that you are a unique and amazing individual. And you are full of loving ways. I love your creativity and enthusiasm. For my sake, please remember that you are wonderful – all the best things rolled up in one special daughter.

I hope the rest of your life is everything you want it to be. Tough stuff can and will happen and I know you will find ways to survive, be strong and learn. Susan and Dan will be great people to grow up with, lean on, rely on (and argue with sometimes!). I hope you will have a group of special friends to trust and eventually someone special to love. I hope you find work that satisfies and nourishes you. I hope your dreams come true – whatever they may be. And on the special days of your life, remember me and know that I am so proud of you and I am surrounding you with love.

It has been wonderful to share these years with you. I'm so sorry I couldn't stay. I'd have done anything to be able to. My love for you is so strong – nothing can break it, certainly not something as insignificant as death. My love will surround you, protect you, nourish you and support all the days of your life.

Remember me, love me, love others, love yourself – I love you forever.

Mum xxxxx

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