'They're a fantastic tool to help mum feel at ease that the rest of the family will cope without her in all the day-to day things families do, but they shouldn't always be taken as a dictat that must be obeyed from beyond the grave. No mum can envisage how her children and their lives will change, so the mummy manual shouldn't be too prescriptive, but more an open-ended, two-way conversation and ultimately a lovely reminder of a mother's love for her children.

Most importantly it also needs to provide some confidence to the person or people who will be taking the role as primary carer for her children. The surviving parent or carer has a lot to cope with in stabilising family life after the death of a parent and the last thing they need is to feel guilty at not fulfilling every aspect of the manual.

But in some families where the parents are perhaps not getting on, it could become more of a burden if used inappropriately. As in divorce and separation we need to be sensitive that children do not find themselves caught in the middle of stuff that is more to do with the parents' deteriorating relationship. Fortunately, all the couples in this series understood the philosophy behind the mummy manual and realised the reassurance the mothers found from preparing 'handover notes'.'