Winston's Wish
About Winston's Wish | One Morning | Camp Winston | Julie Stokes |
Julie's Biography | Q&A With Julie
Julie was born in 1961 and educated at St Michael's Convent Grammar School in London. In 1984 she received a first class honours in psychology and in 1987 went on to receive a masters degree in clinical psychology at the University of Plymouth.
At 26, she started her career with the NHS and was instrumental in establishing one of the first hospital-based teams focusing on palliative care – a form of medical treatment that concentrates on reducing the severity of disease symptoms rather than providing a cure. In Julie's case, she had been working with incurably ill patients at Gloucestershire Royal Hospital and was interested in how little care children received before and after a bereavement. She says:
'All too often children were 'protected' from a serious illness. This well-meaning protection often left them feeling excluded and confused. Instead of gradual preparation, they faced being told that their mum or dad had died, which often came as a great shock, and sometimes left them feeling unable to trust others and to tell them the truth.'
However, it wasn't until 1992 that Julie really made her mark and found the direction her career would eventually take. She was chosen for a Churchill Fellowship, which provides financial support for people wanting to travel overseas to undertake a study of international practice in any one given field. This was a significant milestone and saw Julie travel to the US and Canada to better understand the services provided in these countries for bereaved children.
On her return and inspired by what she had experienced, Julie set out to offer a service in the UK that would support bereaved children and their families. In September 1992, she founded Winston's Wish (so-called because the teddy bear mascot is named after Churchill). Three years later, she was awarded the BT Childline accolade for providing outstanding services for children. Julie says:
'The death of a parent is one of the most fundamental losses a child will ever face. I know we somehow had to see beyond the obvious sadness and ensure they received the help they needed. I wanted to find ways of working alongside families which would help them have a sense of control when their life was massively changing. Children really wanted to meet others in the same situation and seemed to value being involved.
When you think that every 30 minutes a child in Britain loses one of their parents, there is clearly a great need. When I started Winston's Wish I thought I would see around 10 children every year, but we were inundated with hundreds of cases. We were also keen to get children who were all going through the same experience together so they would see they were not alone.'
Another central part of the Winston's Wish programme is helping people remain close to their loved ones through memories. She explains:
'By using familiar smells, photos, tape recordings, memory boxes, notes and letters, children can hold on to their memories of their dead parent more easily. Without these prompts memories fade, making it harder for the children to keep a clear memory and a close relationship, which they strive for.
I remember a seven-year-old girl who was getting very anxious every time her mum had to go into hospital for treatment. I suggested the mother use the same perfume every day and then, when she was due to go into hospital, spray her daughter's teddy with the same scent. That way her daughter would think of her mum every time she cuddled her teddy.'
Now in its 15th year, Winston's Wish is recognised as the leading organisation in child bereavement and its pioneering model of family support has been adapted and used by many other organisations throughout the UK and the world.
Drawing on her years of experience, Julie continues to lecture nationally and internationally and is the author of many books, including Then, Now and Always, a guide for practitioners supporting children as they journey through grief.
Julie is at the forefront of her profession and is currently the vice chair of the Childhood Bereavement Network as well as the chief executive of Winston's Wish. As part of the Queen's 80th birthday honours in December 2006, Julie received an OBE for services to bereaved children.
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