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As shown by Julie Stokes' work with several of the families in the Mummy Diaries, using stories and activities can be a fantastic way to explore issues with a child who has been bereaved. Here is a list of books which Winston's Wish has found helpful when working with bereaved children, young people and their families. There are also textbooks and reference sources for people working in the area of child bereavement.
Aged 5 and under | Aged 5-8 | Aged 9-12 | Aged 13-16 | For families when someone is seriously ill | For adults supporting a bereaved child
Aged 5 and under
Goodbye Mousie by Robie H Harris, illustrated by Jan Ormerod
Aladdin Paperbacks (2004)
This beautifully illustrated picturebook tells the story of a little boy who's told that his pet mouse has died. At first he doesn't believe it, thinking it is just asleep, but by asking lots of questions and with the help of his family he begins to accept Mousie's death. This is a great story and would be very helpful to introduce death to young children and a starting point to discuss what happens after someone dies and the different feelings one may have.
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I Miss You: A first look at death by Pat Thomas, illustrated by Lesley Harker
Barron's Educational Series (2001)
This bright and colourful picture book very simply talks about life and death. It briefly covers a range of issues such as why people die, how you may feel when someone dies and what happens afterwards. It includes questions for the reader to answer about their own experiences and a section at the back for adults on how to best use the book.
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When Uncle Bob Died (Talking it Through) by Althea, illustrated by Lisa Kopper
Happy Cat Books Ltd (2001)
A young boy talks about death and about Uncle Bob who died from an illness. It clearly explains some basic facts such as what 'dead' means and what a funeral is. It also talks about feelings and memories. This small picturebook would be a good starting point for very young children with lots of opportunity for further discussion.
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Aged 5-8
Always and Forever by Alan Durant, illustrated by Debi Gliori
Corgi Children's Books (2003)
Otter, Mole and Hare miss Fox when he falls ill and dies. They stay at home and don't want to talk about him because it makes them sadder. Then Squirrel visits and reminds them of all the fun times they had together. They all find a way to remember Fox and get on with their lives. Colourful, detailed pictures in this book emphasise the importance of holding on to memories.
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Flamingo Dream by Donna Jo Napoli, illustrated by Cathie Felstead
Greenwillow Books (2003)
In this bright and colourful book, a young boy tells the story of his dad who is seriously ill and dies soon after a trip to Florida to see the place where he grew up. The collage style illustrations capture the things the boy collects to remind him of his dad. A sensitive but honest book which emphasises the importance of memories.
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The Sunshine Cat written by Miriam Moss, illustrated by Lisa Flather
Orchard Picturebooks (1999)
Sunny the cat is loved by all his human family, but one day there is a knock at the door – Sunny has been killed in an accident. A sensitive story which aims to help children come to terms with death.
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When Dinosaurs Die: A guide to understanding death by Laurie Krasny, illustrated by Marc Brown
Time Warner Trade Publishing (1998)
This factual picturebook uses cartoon dinosaurs to illustrate the text and comment on what is said. It is a bright and colourful book that explains death in a simple and unthreatening way. It covers many issues including 'why does someone die?', 'feelings about death' and 'saying goodbye'. It would be an excellent resource for anyone caring for young children.
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Aged 9-12
Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes in Between: Beautiful way to explain life and death to children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingpen
Belitha Press (1997)
This thought-provoking book has large pictures complemented with small sections of text. It clearly explains about life and death, focussing on plants, animals and insects before moving on to people. It emphasises that death is part of the life cycle and is natural and normal whenever it occurs. A simple book with a powerful message.
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Michael Rosen's Sad Book by Michael Rosen, illustrated by Quentin Blake
Walker Books (2004)
This book has large illustrations and small snippets of text. It is wonderfully honest and will appeal to children and adults. We all have sad stuff, but what makes Michael Rosen most sad is thinking about his son who died. This book is a simple but emotive story. He talks about what sad is and how it affects him and what he does to cope with it. In true Michael Rosen style, this book manages to make you smile as well.
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What On Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? by Trevor Romain
Free Spirit Publishing Inc (1999)
This book for older children is a factual guide, answering questions such as 'Why do people have to die?', 'Is it okay to cry?' and 'What is a funeral/memorial service?' It is written in a straightforward way, with practical tips, advice and information about different faiths and beliefs.
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Aged 13-16
Straight Talk About Death for Teenagers: How to cope with losing someone you love by Earl A Grollman
Sagebrush Ed Resources (1999)
This book was written after the author spoke to thousands of teenagers and found they often felt forgotten after someone has died. Written in short, clear sentences that are easy to read, it covers feelings, different types of death and the future. This book gives the reader many options of what can happen and how they may feel. It gives advice and reassures readers that grief is normal.
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The Charlie Barber Treatment by Carole Lloyd
Walker Books (1990)
Simon's mum died suddenly from a brain haemorrhage. He came home from school to find she had died. With his GCSE coursework piling up and having to help around the house, Simon finds it hard and doesn't go out much with his friends. He then meets Charlie, who is visiting her grandma, and believes their meeting was fate. Simon starts to enjoy life again and to rebuild relationships with his family and friends. A sensitive and realistic book that conveys some of the thoughts and emotions of a teenage boy.
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Vicky Angel by Jacqueline Wilson, Illustrated by Nick Sharratt
Corgi Childrens (2001)
When Jade's best friend Vicky is run over by a car and dies in hospital, everyone at home and school starts treating her differently. 'Vicky Angel' then starts following Jade around, distracting her and getting her into trouble. This moving but amusing story illustrates how hard it is to carry on with everyday life after a tragic accident. Also available in audiocassette.
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For families when someone is seriously ill
Flamingo Dream by Donna Jo Napoli, illustrated by Cathie Felstead
Greenwillow Books (2003)
This bright and colourful book is told by a young boy whose dad is seriously ill and dies soon after a trip to Florida to see the place where he grew up. The collage-style illustrations capture the things the boy collects to remind him of his dad. A sensitive but honest book which emphasises the importance of memories.
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The Secret C: Straight talking about cancer by Julie A Stokes, illustrated by Peter Bailey
Winston's Wish (2000)
Attempts to answer some of the questions and worries a child may have about cancer, especially when it involves someone in the family. This reassuring book will help adults and children to talk about the difficult issues and feelings involved when someone is seriously ill and briefly talks about the possibility of death.
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When Someone Has a Very Serious Illness: Children can learn to cope with loss and change by Marge Heegard
Fairview Press (1991)
Aiming to be used weekly, over a number of sessions, this workbook will help families communicate and teach children about illness and coping skills. With simple, clear writing and plenty of space for children to draw and colour, it covers areas such as change, feelings and looking after oneself. It also has suggestions for how adults can help children as well as useful addresses and additional reading.
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As Big As It Gets: Supporting a child when a parent is seriously ill by Julie Stokes and Di Stubbs
Winston's Wish (2007)
An information booklet to help families cope with the serious illness of a parent or child. It provides a range of ideas for parents or carers so that they feel more able to explain to their children what is happening, giving some suggestions to what parents might say to children and how to offer support.
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For adults supporting a bereaved child
A Child's Grief: Supporting a child when someone in their family has died by Julie Stokes and Diana Crossley
Winston's Wish (2001)
An information booklet for an adult who is supporting a child through bereavement. It covers a variety of issues that may affect a child when someone close to them dies. It also includes practical suggestions and ideas for activities to do together with a child.
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Grief in Children: A handbook for adults by Atle Dyregov
Jessica Kingsley Publishers (1991)
This is a very practical and useful book written for adults to help them understand how children feel when someone important in their life dies. It covers areas such as children's grief reactions at different developmental levels, sex differences and different types of death. It makes many useful suggestions about how children can be helped to cope with their grief in an open, honest and positive way.
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Talking about Death: A dialogue between parent and child by Earl A Grollman
Beacon Press (1991)
This guide for parents recognises that many adults find it hard to honestly and openly explain death to children, especially when faced with their own grief. It includes quotes and examples from other parents and suggestions of what to say to a child as well as general advice.
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