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'Being happy doesn't just put a smile on your face, and make you feel good about yourself and the way you look.
Happiness has far-reaching, positive effects on every area of life. When we are in a positive mood, people like us better, and friendship, love and coalitions are more likely to cement. We are tolerant, expansive and creative, and open to new ideas and experience.'
So says psychologist Dr Martin Seligman, head of the positive psychology movement, in his book Authentic Happiness. Research carried out by this new branch of mainstream psychology demonstrates that happier people live longer and stay healthier than their more miserable counterparts. |
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One of the crucial elements lies in not confusing quick-fix pleasures such as TV, chocolate, sex and shopping – which can leave you disappointed or dissatisfied – with lasting happiness, which is psychologically deeply rooted. Here's how to tap in:
- Find a reason for living that's bigger than you are, and that gives your life meaning: love of a partner, child or friend; spiritual faith; helping others.
- Gather supportive friends, neighbours and colleagues.
- Start pursuing at least one passionate interest outside work.
- Aim for enough money, but give up hankering after riches. Research shows that, once reasonably comfortable, most people aren't made any happier by having more cash.
- Identify your signature strengths. There's a test on the Authentic Happiness website which lets you do this for free. Typical strengths include spirituality; perseverance and leadership; kindness and generosity; love of learning. Once you know what yours are, start giving yourself small but frequent opportunities to use them in your daily life. The happiness and fulfilment this will bring is a great way to maintain a warm glow of satisfaction with life.
- Learn to think optimistically. Consciously spend more time mulling over what's gone right, and less time re-running the story of things that went wrong. Seligman's book Learned Optimism has useful suggestions on how to do this.
- Identify the things you love to do – the activities that give you deepest satisfaction – and do more of them. This enhances the amount of 'flow' in your life.
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How often does your day whizz by, filled with anxiety and pressure of work, while the evening passes in a state of passive boredom? Happiness hardly features at all. Psychologist Professor Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi studied thousands of people, trying to answer the question, 'When are people most happy?'. He discovered that, for many, it was when they were in a state that he dubbed 'flow', absorbed in challenging tasks that engaged their skills so deeply they were unaware of anything else. In flow, worries evaporate, time stands still, you just stop thinking, and 'do'.
You can experience flow by choosing pastimes that need your skill and commitment, where you are active, rather than
passive. Look for activities that include clear and attainable goals, and give immediate feedback. In playing tennis,
for instance, the goal is to get the ball over the net, and you can make the task more challenging by the way you
play. Feedback is instant: either the ball goes over the net or it doesn't. Skimming through a newspaper, on the
other hand, provides neither goals nor feedback, so you lose any chance of feeling stimulated and satisfied in the
same way.
You can transform routine tasks so that they create flow by taking a different approach. For instance, instead
of cutting corners to make your work easier, find ways to challenge yourself by investing more, rather than less
energy into mundane jobs. Not only will you start to enjoy work more, you'll also become more productive.
Csikszentmihalyi found that flow had an addictive quality, and that once a person has started to absorb
more knowledge and refine their skills, life without flow feels static, boring and meaningless. The more
flow you experience, the more your sense of having a meaningful life increases. That in itself creates
feelings of purpose and self-knowledge, which in turn lead to happiness.
For further reading and weblinks on finding real happiness go to Help and info. |
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