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sex, men, and the working girl
The well-worn cliché calls it 'the oldest profession' and there is plenty of historical and archaeological evidence that men have been paying for sex for thousands of years. Prostitution may not be the very oldest way for women to earn a living, but it's not easy to think of a female career option that's been around longer. A Channel 4 season on prostitution explores the hypocrisy and prejudice towards the profession, the physical brutality and questions the existing laws governing prostitution.
It's virtually impossible to get reliable information about the numbers of people involved — understandable given the shaky legal position of the working girl, and society's general attitude to sex workers. Finding out how many men visit prostitutes is just as tricky.
However, in April 2002, the Independent newspaper reported on some research that had been carried out by the universities of East Anglia and Manchester into the amounts of money spent by prostitutes' clients. The report estimated that the annual spend in the UK is a whopping £770 million pounds.
The research also found that the average price of a session was £50. A bit of simple arithmetic points to over 42,000 visits to working girls every day.
No doubt many of the men who pay for sex are perfectly happy with the exchange, but for some the transaction is not as simple as it might seem. This is true for most of the men who have posted questions to just ask.
easier to pay?
One common reason men gave for having sex with prostitutes was a problem with finding a girlfriend.
For 26-year-old Andy the difficulty seemed to stem from his shyness in the company of women. The 'just ask' advisor was able to offer some suggestions for building his confidence. read more
Another, older, man had been through a divorce and was considering visiting a prostitute after a long period without a sexual partner. But he was worried about the risks involved. read more
too risky?
Concerns about the risk of picking up a sexually transmitted infection (STI) are probably the most common issue in questions about having sex with a prostitute.
Tom, 17, was worried that a blow job from a prostitute might have put him at risk of STIs. read more
Anthony had seen several prostitutes and, although he had always used a condom, he too was concerned about STIs. He was particularly worried about HIV. read more
paying away
Some men have their first — perhaps only — experience of paying for sex while they are abroad. We've answered a number of questions from men about prostitution in perhaps the most well-known European destination for the sex tourist — Amsterdam. Once again the main worry is the risk of STIs.
One 22-year-old — another Andy — was worried for a friend of his whose partner had visited a prostitute in Amsterdam. He had been told that sex workers in The Netherlands are forced to have regular screening for STIs. read more
One young man seemed overwhelmed by the fear that an encounter with a prostitute in Amsterdam, three years before, might have left him with HIV. read more
the other half
Aside from the issue of safer sex, these last two questions touch on the effect that a visit to a working girl can have on the client's other relationships. We have answered very few questions from prostitutes themselves — nearly all of the questions on the subject from women have been about their feelings on finding out what their boyfriend has been up to.
Emma, 18, was having trouble trusting her boyfriend after finding out that he had visited a prostitute early on in their relationship. read more
Lorna and her boyfriend had been together for three years when she found out he had paid for sex. One thing she was struggling with was the fact that he did not seem to take her feelings seriously. read more
If you have a question for the 'just ask' advisors click here.
resources
Brook
FPA
Relate
The International Union of Sex Workers (IUSW)
The English Collective of Prostitutes
(September 2002)
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