parenting a gifted child
By Dr Stephen Tommis, Ex-Director, NAGC (The National Association for Gifted Children)
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is a gifted child an advantaged child?
Most people think of gifted children as advantaged children who receive lots of press coverage and attention and who are well supported. This may be true for the precocious musician, the potential chess grandmaster or the exceptional athlete. But these are the 'exotic' cases which form only a tiny minority of gifted children. Many, many more remain unrecognised and unsupported . They are the children who, despite their capacity for unrestricted learning and creative thought, frequently fail to be recognised and given the challenge that they need.
- Gifted children are not recognised when they deliberately respond to peer pressures by conforming to expectations, avoiding standing out from the crowd or avoiding bullying, instead of following their own aspirations. (Though children may see themselves as different, they find it easier to keep quiet about it.)
- When their real needs remain unrecognised they become to the teacher no more than the theoretical average child – and are challenged accordingly.
- The gifted child may become invisible to avoid being squashed and constantly put down, rather than revealing potential in class when to do so might be seen as a threat (unless the teacher is extremely understanding and aware), be discouraged for always knowing the answer, or be viewed as disruptive for perceiving inconsistencies or questioning the purpose of an activity. Talents may then become hidden – hidden, that is, not from choice but as a response to the messages of disapproval received from society.
It is a truism that what you expect is what you get. There is something of a self-fulfilling prophecy in expectancy, and when this is low, the gifted child will almost certainly under perform and conform to what is required.
The challenge of the gifted child is that of creating learning opportunities appropriate to their ability and age while at the same time keeping them emotionally and socially within their peer structure. For this to be done successfully parents and teachers need to work in partnership.
Reference
Distin, Kate (Ed) 2006 Gifted Children: A Guide for Parents and professionals. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
(February 2007)
Read on for details of relevant organisations, websites and reading.
