Home-Start – a helping hand

by Kendra Inman

Jacqui Lavelle was reluctant to admit that family life had overwhelmed her and, despite her best efforts, she was failing to cope. She was in denial and didn't want to seek help.

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'I started to get paranoid about little things, such as keeping the house clean,' she says. 'I wanted to keep on top of life. I didn't want people to look at me and think, "That poor woman …"'

After a while, the pressures became too much. She needed help – and fast. Luckily Jacqui's health visitor saw through her bravado and put her in touch with Home-Start, a charity that organises a small army of parent volunteers to help families and children through the rough patches in their lives.

all types of help

Volunteers help all types of parents – mothers struggling with post-natal depression, very young couples with no idea of what to do during their babies' early years and professional women having difficulty coping with the switch from the structured work environment to home life and late parenthood. The volunteers provide non-judgmental support to allow them all to build on their own strengths.

When Jacqui first opened her door to a Home-Start volunteer, she didn't imagine that, 10 years later, she would be organising her own branch of the scheme and helping families like her own. At the time, she couldn't see any further than getting her family through each day.

ending isolation

Jacqui came into contact with Home-Start at a difficult point in her life. The end of one relationship had prompted her to move from Worthing in Sussex to Barnsley, South Yorkshire to start afresh with a new partner.

'I already had two children, another with my new partner, and when I got pregnant with my fourth, I think I panicked,' she says.

Jacqui needed support, but not the heavy-handed help that social services sometimes provides. What was called for was a friendly face and a listening ear, someone to do the job that close friends or family might have done if they lived nearby: 'My mum was 240 miles away and I didn't want to tell her I wasn't coping.'

Home-Start volunteers set out to end the isolation that so many parents with young children experience.

'My volunteer was brilliant. She'd say how nice the children and the house looked. She made me feel better about myself. With four young children, getting out of the house was an achievement in itself. So having her to help me meant we could do simple things like go to the park,' says Jacqui.

As well as reading to the children and picking them up from nursery, the volunteer was always happy to chat, listen and do whatever she could to make Jacqui feel better. Jacqui also found her knowledge of local schools, resources and networks invaluable.

coping with pressures

Jacqui's volunteer was just one of the 13,500 volunteers who work for the 300-odd local Home-Start schemes across the UK. The charity, which began more than 30 years ago, provides a trained parent volunteer to help any family finding it hard to cope. The only criteria is that the family has to include at least one child under five.

Home-Start says it offers friendship, practical help and support. In this way, the parent volunteers create a climate in which fragile families can cope with the pressures they're facing, thus reducing the potential for family breakdown.

But that's not all it does, says the charity. Home-Start volunteers can also help some families get their act together sufficiently to no longer need the supervision of statutory social services. For example, in 2003/4, 822 children – whose families were supported by Home-Start – were removed from the child protection register.

sensitivity

But Home-Start is not a childminding or home-help service, says acting chief executive Kay Bews. Volunteers offer the kind of support that an extended family might once have provided.

The help on offer takes many forms. Volunteers can give stressed parents a couple of hours away from their children or take younger ones off their hands to allow them time with older siblings. They can get parents and children out of the house, accompanying them to toddler groups or other activities until they feel confident enough to go on their own.

Families who have used Home-Start praise the volunteers' sensitivity and non-judgmental approach to parenting. They are trained how to talk to, encourage and, when necessary, guide mothers and fathers. They don't teach the 'correct' way of parenting but work alongside parents, building on their strengths.

'We're not there to tell them how to bring up their children, although volunteers might offer advice if asked,' says Mrs Bews. 'But because the volunteers have been there themselves, they know the stresses and strains of family life and can appreciate what these people are going through.'

a friend indeed

Jacqui Lavelle agrees: 'My volunteer didn't judge me. She never introduced herself to other people as my Home-Start volunteer. It was as if she was just a friend.

'She didn't know me or have a view about what mistakes I'd made. She just took what I said about my ex-partner at face value. I could talk to her about money, about going to court for contact.

'I would cry on her shoulder and she would help me through it. And she always came back the following week. Also she never threw any of it back in my face when I felt better and was coping.'

After a while, Jacqui's confidence had grown and she felt able to get by without her volunteer, although the two remained friends. However, this isn't necessarily the case, she says. Very often, as the family grows in strength and confidence, the volunteer simply visits less and less and the relationship ends naturally. 'The support naturally drifts away and all the things you went through naturally drift away with her,' explains Jacqui.

full circle

Jacqui came back to Home-Start – only this time it was as a volunteer.

When her youngest child started school, Jacqui returned to study for social work qualifications. When she needed work experience, 'I thought, "Where better than Home-Start?"' After her induction in 1997, she supported three families. In June 1998, a vacancy came up for a scheme organiser. She got the job and has held the post ever since.

Jacqui says her own experience at the sharp end helps her in her work. If a potential client is worried about having a Home-Start volunteer, she might mention that she had needed one, too – something nervous parents find reassuring.

setting up a scheme

The government is funding Home-Start to expand into every community in England, to give families like Jacqui's a helping hand to see them through difficult times.

Local people set up a scheme when they realise that there is a demand for community-based parenting support. A steering group raises funds and appoints a paid organiser whose job it is to recruit volunteers. This doesn't happen overnight: it can take months or even years to get a scheme off the ground.

All the schemes work to the same standards and methods, and all volunteers undergo training. Home-Start has recommended policies for its schemes, including one on child protection so that it can help vulnerable children and adults. The organisation aims to be responsive to local needs, and each project is shaped by the needs of the community it serves.

(July 2001 – resources updated December 2004)

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