AGE OF CONSENT | Q&A

1. What's the age of consent in this country? (Samantha, 16)
2. Most people lose their virginity around my age. Do you feel the age for sex is too high? (Callum, 15)
3. You have sex when you feel ready, not when the law says. Why are we being told when we're allowed to do it? (Mel, 14)
4. Someone told my friend that it is illegal for her to sleep with her care worker, even though she is over the age of consent. Is that right? (Ella, 18)

A: Hi Samantha and thanks for your question. We're sorry you're feeling confused about this. But you're not alone! The age of consent laws in this country can seem quite complicated. We've set them out for you below.

In England, Scotland and Wales, the age of consent – the age at which the law says you can agree to have sex – is 16 for both heterosexual (straight) and homosexual (gay) sex. In Northern Ireland, both people have to be over 17. At any age, and wherever you live in the UK, it is illegal to have sex unless both people agree to it (give their consent).

Where one or both of you are under the age of consent, as in your case, the law varies depending on the precise circumstances. Slightly different rules apply in Scotland and Jersey.

A boy who has sex with a girl under 16 (or 17 in Northern Ireland) is breaking the law, even if the girl agrees to have sex.

If the girl is aged between 13 and 15, the boy could go to prison for up to two years. If she is under 13, the boy could be sentenced to life imprisonment.

The law considers anyone under 13 to be unable to understand the consequences of having sex, so sex with someone aged 12 or under is illegal whether they have consented to it or not.

Our age of consent laws are there to prevent people from being pushed into something they don't understand or aren't ready for. Many young people think that if they feel ready to have sex and they use protection, it is nothing to do with anyone else. But every teenager needs to know the laws and what they mean. Although many young people are mature enough to know how to deal with it if someone tries to get them to have sex, not all teenagers are grown up enough to know what to do.

I hope that this has helped to make the situation a bit clearer for you. To read more about the age of consent, see our Age of Consent Debate feature, or have a look at the websites listed in Finding Out More for further information.

A: Hi Callum, thanks for writing in. The age of consent laws in this country are there for a reason, even though you might feel that they are too high. Have a look at our Age of Consent Timeline to see when and why the UK's age of consent laws were set in place.

Everyone would agree that, at any age, sex without consent is assault – it's a crime. However, our age of consent laws make sexual acts legal or illegal based on the age of the people involved. We know that not everyone who is 14, or 18, or 26 has the same level of maturity as everyone else the same age, but the law tries to protect young people by assuming that, under a certain age, they are too young to know what they're doing and cannot give meaningful consent.

In this country, the age of consent laws have been set at 16. However there is currently some debate over whether they should stay at this age. Our feature on the Age of Consent Debate gives more information on both sides of the argument. You should be aware that although it is technically illegal for two fifteen year olds to have sex, the Home Office has stated 'the law is not intended to prosecute mutually agreed teenage sexual activity between two young people of a similar age, unless it involves abuse or exploitation.'

You're right to point out the importance of using protection. Condoms will help prevent unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. Young people still have the right to confidential advice on contraception, pregnancy and abortion even if they are under 16. See Sex Bites: Safe Sex for tips on using condoms safely and getting hold of contraception.

A: Hi Mel. We want to assure you that we would never tell anyone that they should or should not engage in any sexual activity. We do not make the laws, however, and we are obliged to notify everyone under 16 of the law regarding the age of consent.

You are quite right in saying that everybody is different and everyone has the right to choose when they are ready to take part in sexual activity with a partner. You are also right when you say that some people feel ready before they have reached the age of consent. It is also true that many young people are involved in a very loving relationship and are happy to explore their sexuality with each other.

The problem is that other young people may not be ready but might agree to do things that they do not really want to, just because their friends or partners say that they should. The law is there to help to protect young people from some unscrupulous adults and people who are naturally manipulative. Many young people become involved in sexual activities before they are ready due to coercion from older people or even from people their own age.

The aim of this site is to give unbiased advice. Only you know what you feel to be right for you. All we can say is, be true to yourself and others. If you are unsure of what you are doing don't do it, and remember the law. I hope that this answers your comments and assures you that we would never judge you or anyone else. Check out Sex Bites: The Big Decision for good and bad reasons to have sex.

A: Thanks for writing in Ella. You're right that, at 17, your friend is over the age of sexual consent. However, because the person she is in a relationship with is her care worker, a special aspect of the law applies which means that her care worker is breaking the law in having a sexual relationship with her.

The special aspect of the law is known as the 'abuse of trust provision', which is designed to protect young people aged 16 and 17 who, even though they are over the age of consent, are potentially vulnerable to abuse from people in authority or positions of trust.

'Position of trust' occupations include teachers, carers, prison officers, youth counsellors and others caring for young people (for example, a scout leader or sports coach). In the eyes of the law, these people are in a special position because they have power and authority in young people's lives and may have a key influence on their future. It is vital for those in these positions to understand the power this gives them over those they care for, and the responsibility they should exercise as a consequence. If they have a consensual sexual relationship with a person under 18 in their care, they are committing a criminal offence and they could lose their job and go to prison. They could also be placed on the sex offenders register.

This might seem unfair to your friend. She might feel that she is old enough to make a decision about who she has a sexual relationship with and why should the law interfere in a relationship that they have both agreed to. However, it's worth remembering that the rules are in place to protect young people from abuse and to punish adults who might want to take advantage of them. Although young people of 16 or 17 can legally consent to most types of sexual activity, in many areas of the law, for example the right to vote, they are still classed as children. It is essential that those looking after young people recognise this vulnerability and make sure that it is not exploited.

I hope this helps to clarify the situation for you and your friend.