'What can I do about my friend's binge drinking?'
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Q: My best friend has started drinking loads of vodka every Friday night. Sometimes she gets through nearly a whole bottle. She gets so out of it she doesn't know what she's doing or saying, and sometimes she goes off with a crowd of older blokes in cars. I've tried to talk to her, but she just says I'm being boring. She reckons there's nothing to worry about as it's not as if she's an alcoholic drinking every day or anything. What should I do? Alicia, 14 |
our expert replies:
Just because your friend isn't drinking every day, this doesn't mean her drinking isn't a problem. 'Binge drinking' is bad for your physical and mental health.
The maximum amount of alcohol recommended for an adult to drink each day is two units. A double vodka shot is three units, so that gives you an idea just how far your friend is going above a safe limit. Excessive drinking can have long-term effects on your health – it can cause liver damage and put you at higher risk of getting cancer. It can also lead to depression.
But your friend's health is not the only issue. When we're drunk we start to feel relaxed, but we also lose our self-control and sense of judgment. We do things we wouldn't usually do. Your friend is putting herself at risk – for example, she's getting in cars with boys, who may also have been drinking. Many people end up having unsafe sex when they're drunk, often with people they would never have even considered sleeping with when they're sober.
Talk to her when she's sober about some of the things she says and does when she's drunk. She might not remember all of them. (You could even take a photo on your phone of her looking awful when she's drunk, and show it to her.) If she's embarrassed about what she gets up to, she may start to think about drinking less and staying in control.
It's not only how much she's drinking that's the problem, it could also by why. If she's getting into a 'need to be really drunk to have a good time and talk to boys' habit, it's one she needs to break. Try asking her why she is drinking like this. Does she feel nervous or uncomfortable? Is she trying to forget about something that's bothering her? Talking about these things will help. Let her know you are there to listen and you're not going to be critical. If she doesn't want to tell you about it, maybe she wants to talk the school counsellor or another adult she trusts.
Remember, you can only be there for your friend. But she has to decide for herself to stop drinking so much. If you are out together on a Friday night, you can help her by suggesting she eats a meal before starts drinking, and that she drinks water or soft drinks as well as alcoholic ones. You can also try and make sure she gets home safely. If you don't want to get a lift from a parent, perhaps you can get a licensed minicab together (keep the number of a local taxi firm you trust with you, or you can text 'Home' to 60835 – you'll receive the numbers of some licensed minicab and black cab firms in your area).
You should also be aware of the legal situation regarding underage drinking. It's against the law for anyone under 18 to buy alcohol in a pub, off-licence or supermarket. It's also illegal to buy alcohol in a pub for someone who's not 18. You or your friend can call Drinkline on 0800 917 8282 (all calls are free and confidential), or visit www.alcoholconcern.org.uk for more information about any of the above.
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