'My little sister gets on my nerves. How can I control my feelings?'
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Q: I really love my little sister, who is five, but she really gets on my nerves sometimes and I end up shouting at her. Then I get told off. I have a little bro or sis being born very soon and I really do want to be nice. It is just really hard. What do I do? Jon, 14. |
our online advisors reply:
At your age you are probably going through puberty. This is the time between childhood and adulthood when various changes take place. You are probably aware of the physical changes that occur, but this is not all that happens. This is also a stage of emotional development, which many young people find confusing. Emotions can be very intense and unpredictable. Feeling worthless ignored and misunderstood are common at this stage. Understandably, this can be difficult to handle at times, but the good news is that this doesn't last forever.
Sometimes when we feel frustrated or have feelings that are so big and difficult to understand it can be really difficult to stop ourselves from being angry. These feelings become even stronger when we are tired and stressed because it makes us more vulnerable.
Getting upset with our little brothers and sisters is very common no matter how much we love them. It sounds like you are worried that you might shout at your new brother or sister. Perhaps it might help if you helped your mum out a bit with the new baby. Babies cannot do anything for themselves and a lot of your mum's time will be taken up but this does not mean she loves you any less. By helping out you will get to spend time with your mum and your new sibling and I am sure your mum will really appreciate it.
When you play with your little sister or talk to her and feel yourself getting frustrated and angry, try to walk away and do something else for a bit while you calm down. If it is not possible to walk away, for example if you were looking after her, take a deep breath a slowly count to 10 until you feel less like shouting.
Perhaps you could talk to your mum about how sometimes you get angry and you don't mean to. Talking to your mum when you feel calm might help. When you do, you could offer how you are feeling and what is going on for you.
If you would like to talk to someone else about how you are feeling other than your mum you can call ChildLine on 0800 11 11. This is a free telephone number where you can talk to someone in confidence 24 hours a day. No one will tell anyone that you have called. The number can be busy so do keep trying.
Some websites that might give you a few ideas to control your anger are:
- http://kidshealth.org/teen/question/emotions/deal_with_anger.html
- www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/anger.asp
Channel 4 is not responsible for the content of third party sites.
