Channel 4's stress survival guide to ... Christmas
by Soraya Madell
Christmas should be fun but – if you're not careful – it can also send your stress levels soaring. We are busy for weeks before the festive holiday even starts, buying presents and going to parties. We overload our bodies with rich food and stimulants – like alcohol and caffeine – which increase stress, and worst of all we have high expectations of Christmas which pile on the pressure.
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One in five of us gets stressed during the festive season, according to a survey by the mental health charity Mind. 'Many people find it hard to cope with the demands of Christmas,' says Mind spokesperson Julia MacPherson. 'We've found it's as common as relationship problems and health worries for causing stress.'
For some people Christmas can also make existing problems seem even bigger. 'Christmas emphasises how unhappy they are, the fact that they may not have a partner or many friends, while everyone else seems to be having fun,' says a spokesperson for The Samaritans. Its helpline advisers expect 10% more calls – around 100,000 – during the holiday period, and the suicide rate reaches its peak in January.
For most of us Christmas is generally enjoyable but still a stressful experience. Yet you can reduce festive pressures if you just follow our stress-busting tips.
shopping
Gift-buying is one of the most stressful aspects of Christmas, according to a spokesperson for Hamleys toy shop in London. But there are things you can do to relieve the pressure, he says.
- Don't wait until Christmas Eve to buy your gifts. Do your shopping over several weeks or months to spread the cost and have more time.
- Buy gifts online to spend less time in heaving shops, which can be stressful and exhausting. Children's toy websites include Hamleys at www.hamleys.co.uk and the Early Learning Centre at www.elc.co.uk. For books you could try www.amazon.co.uk or www.whsmith.co.uk.
- Use mail order catalogues, but make sure to order goods well in advance to avoid postal delays or stock shortages.
- Decide how much you can afford to spend on your children and stick to it. That way they'll choose something they really want and you won't get into debt.
- You can also save time by shopping for other Christmas needs – from Christmas cards to decorations – online. Search for 'Christmas' on any major search engine – if you try www.yahoo.com for example you will find more than 46,000 listings. Or try one of the special Christmas search engines. For shopping, recipes, crafts and even present ideas for your pets try www.christmas.co.uk or www.christmas.com.
parties
'Not everyone enjoys parties, especially if they're a bit shy,' says Gladeana McMahon, stress counsellor and co-director of the Centre for Stress Management. But there are things we can all do to boost confidence, she advises.
- Don't worry about coming up with sparkling conversation. Just being a good listener makes you popular.
- To get the conversation going, ask open questions such as what someone is doing for Christmas or how their job's going. Remember FORE – Family, Occupation, Relaxation and leisure, and Education – for conversation topics.
- We all get on with certain people at work or socially more than others. At a party, talk to them first to build your confidence.
- Breathing exercises will help you relax. Breathe in to the count of four, out to the count of five, relaxing your shoulders and tummy. Repeat four times.
- Don't rely on alcohol to calm your nerves – it can make you more stressed.
food and drink
Christmas often means eating a diet high in salt, sugar and stimulants, like alcohol and caffeine, which can make feelings of stress worse, says nutritionist Suzannah Olivier. 'But if you watch your diet, you'll feel less anxious and have more energy,' she advises.
- Not only is alcohol full of calories but it also increases stress. Offer to drive occasionally when you go out, provided you can stay on the wagon. Or at least drink a glass of water between every alcoholic drink to prevent dehydration and a hangover the next day.
- Carbonated mixers, such as tonic, increase absorption of alcohol so choose fruit juice instead.
- Drink less caffeine – it adds to stress and drains your energy levels in the long term.
- Cut down on smoking which increases stress too.
- Antioxidants can help to relieve the effects of stress. Good sources are red fruit and vegetables, like tomatoes, peppers, grapes and cherries, and also festive treats like satsumas and nuts. A little chocolate is OK, as it contains antioxidants, but choose a good-quality brand that is 70 per cent cocoa and has less sugar.
christmas day
Relationships counsellor Denise Knowles says co-operation is the key to a stress-free Christmas Day. 'You all need to help each other out, rather than let one person do everything, and agree on what you all want to do,' she advises. 'Try not to have expectations that are too unrealistic and remember that if things go wrong, it's not the end of the world.'
- Planning is crucial. Write a list of what you have to do, such as when to start cooking, then stick to it.
- Try out new recipes before the big day so they don't go wrong.
- Don't do everything yourself. Get other people to help, such as your mum laying the table or your partner looking after people's drinks.
- Encourage everyone to be honest about what they want to do for Christmas. You may learn that your relatives don't really want to visit you every year, or don't mind if you'd rather go abroad.
- Avoid tensions by reaching a compromise on what the family wants to do rather than let one person have their way.
relaxation
Giving yourself time to relax is important in avoiding Christmas stress, according to stress counsellor Gladeana McMahon. Instead of going out every night, curl up with a good book or pour soothing aromatherapy oils into a bath and have a long soak.
- Before you go to bed, drinking camomile tea may aid relaxation.
- Exercise is a great stress reliever. Take a walk every day rather than staying indoors throughout Christmas, or book a pre-Christmas treat at a health farm.
- Laughter can relieve stress. Book a pantomime.
- And, if you really want to get away from it all, why not go abroad during Christmas? Search the internet for the best flight and holiday deals.
You can find more stressbusting ideas in our beat your stress feature or go to don't panic for our top 10 stress relieving tips. You can read about laughter therapy in our laugh your way to happiness feature.
help and info
Channel 4 is not responsible for the content of third party sites.
organisations
Mind (National Association for Mental Health)
15-19 Broadway
London E15 4BQ
Tel: 020 8519 2122
Mind Infoline: 0845 766 0163 (Mon-Fri 9.15am-4.15pm)
E-mail: contact@mind.org.uk
Website: www.mind.org.uk
Campaigns for better mental health services in England and Wales, through its national office, regional offices and network of over 200 local branches, some of which also provide services. Publishes a range of helpful books and leaflets. Contact them for details of your nearest local group and for more information.
Relate
Herbert Gray College
Little Church Street
Rugby CV21 3AP
Relateline: 0845 130 4010 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4.30pm)
Relate Direct booking line: 0845 130 4016 (Mon-Fri 8.30am-4.30pm)
E-mail: enquiries@relate.org.uk
Website: www.relate.org.uk
The largest relationship counselling organisation in the UK. Offers counselling,
psychosexual therapy, and other services to help those experiencing difficulties in any
adult couple relationship. Some branches of Relate offer individual counselling to
young people. Relateline is for couples experiencing emotional crisis who wish to talk
things through with an experienced Relate counsellor. Relate Direct is a telephone
counselling service (see website for more details, including costs).
Samaritans
c/o Chris
PO Box 90 90
Stirling FK8 2SA
Helpline: 08457 90 90 90 (24 hours)
E-mail: jo@samaritans.org
Website: www.samaritans.org.uk
The Samaritans exists to provide confidential emotional support to any person, irrespective of race, creed, age or status who is in emotional distress or at risk of suicide; 24 hours a day. Can be contacted by e-mail, telephone, writing, or by visiting one of over 200 local branches (details are on the website).
YoungMinds
102-108 Clerkenwell Road
London EC1M 5SA
Tel: 020 7336 8445 (Just for info and publications)
Parents Information Service: 0800 018 2138 (Mon & Fri 10am-1pm; Tue-Thur 1-4pm)
E-mail: enquiries@youngminds.org.uk
Website: www.youngminds.org.uk
National charity committed to improving the mental health of all children and young people. Campaigns for better provision of child and adolescent mental health services. Provides information to anyone with concerns about the mental health or emotional well-being of a child or young person. Can give information on mental health issues, and details of local and national advice services. Leaflets for young people, and other helpful information are available on their award-winning mental health site.
websites
Avoiding Christmas Stress
www.handbag.com/careers/jane_xmasstress
Aimed at women juggling work and family life, this article discusses how to be calm and in control during the festive season.
Boots.com
www.boots.com/magazine/index.jsp?contentId=2155&dwlc=
This website has advice on how to reduce Christmas stress and features gift ideas for men, women and children.
CEO's Christmas Countdown
http://organizedchristmas.com/hgpindex.html
A free organising plan featuring tips, gift ideas and recipes to help you have a happy and calm holiday season. American-based and part of the online magazine Organized Home.
Christmas can be Stressful and Depressing
www.disability.vic.gov.au/dsonline/dsarticles.nsf/
pages/Christmas_tips_to_reduce_the_stress?OpenDocument
Produced by Disability Online, this article acknowledges that Christmas can be a stressful time, and offers useful advice on how to cope. Australian-based.
Smart Spending for Christmas
http://money.guardian.co.uk/smartspendingforchristmas/story/0,11127,1097950,00.html
A range of Guardian articles on spending at Christmas. Topics include consumer rights, online shopping, debt, credit cards and loans.
reading
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Christmas Shortcuts by Adeline Rosemire (Meridian Publishing, 1998) |
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Hundred Dollar Holiday: The case for a joyful Christmas by Bill McKibben (Simon & Schuster, 1998) |
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Simplify Your Christmas: 100 ways to reduce the stress and recapture the joy of the holidays by Elaine St James (Andrews McMeel Publishing August, 1998) |
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Unplug the Christmas Machine: A complete guide to putting love and joy back into the season by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli (Quill, 1991) |
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When Holidays Are Hell!: A guide to surviving family gatherings by Mariana Caplan (Hohm Press, 1997) |
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(updated December 2004, resources updated May 2005)
