'I'm four weeks pregnant. Where can I find information about making the right decision?'
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Q: I am 20 years old and have just found out that I'm four weeks pregnant. I have been with my partner for about four months and we are both still living at home. Even though his family are well off and we would be able to get a house and support a child he doesn't want this baby because we are too young. Where can I find information about making the right decision and about abortion? Kirsten, 20. |
our online advisors reply:
Thanks for contacting us. This sounds like quite a dilemma for you. You have clearly stated that your partner does not want a child, but what is less clear are your own thoughts and feelings on the matter.
For many people there is no 'right' age for having a baby, especially when a pregnancy is unplanned. Having children is a heavy responsibility at any age, which is difficult to understand without already having children. The reality of having a baby requires an unselfish outlook. An understanding that the baby's needs come before anything else, including what you might want.
Your partner would also have equal responsibility for the baby, making his opinions a consideration, but ultimately you would need to do what you believe to be best. Any children that you might have will be completely dependent on you for many years. Feeling secure in your relationship and having the ability to provide for their needs could take a lot of pressure off.
The issue of abortion, or termination, is obviously a very serious one and it's good that you have contacted us for information. It may well help to talk this through with someone. There is an agency called Brook which, amongst other things, helps people make decisions about abortion. Whatever choices you make, they will support you emotionally throughout. If you call the helpline, someone will explain what happens.
Brook has a number of centres across the country and has a free helpline that you can reach on 0800 0185 023 (9am-5pm, Mon-Fri). The helpline staff will refer you to your nearest clinic. If you choose to go ahead with termination, they will make a NHS referral, which would be free. However, this can mean you waiting some weeks before the termination is carried out. An alternative to this is to pay for the procedure privately.
You can get information on all aspects of termination (including their private clinics) from Marie Stopes International on 0845 300 80 90. Their website also contains frequently asked questions and an online counselling guide.
You might like to check out our own article on abortion, which includes further information and sources of help. There are also some personal experiences of people in a similar position, which may be helpful.
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