virtue and virginity
by Nigel Cooper and John Illman
By the time she was 18, Britney Spears had already made a huge impact on many teenager's lives. This wasn't just because of her massive debut album Baby One More Time – she famously extolled the virtues of virginity and denounced sex before marriage. She made it possible for teens to say no to sex without leaving their credibility in tatters.
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Many believe Britney's endorsement of virginity changed how teens saw their own sexuality – and parents applauded her for it. For the first time in decades, teens didn't have to feel ashamed if they didn't want sex, or if they hadn't already had it.
But we now know Miss Spears didn't actually remain the teen virgin she professed to be and, now she's in her 20s, she is doing even more to distance herself from her virginal younger self. In the wake of this change, many teens may well be wondering if it's still OK for them to be a virgin – or has it become something to be embarrassed about again?
changing attitudes
Having a debate about teen virginity would have been quite different 20 or 30 years ago. Back then, teens were still rebelling against the earlier mores of the 1940s and 50s, where virginity and abstinence was prized above all else (in women, at least). The 1960s changed things radically, however. The development of the contraceptive pill and the 1967 Abortion Act (which legalised abortion in the UK) meant women had more sexual freedom than ever before – and they started using it.
This was only the beginning. New guidance for doctors in 1993 re-affirmed the rights of under 16s to medical confidentiality, meaning that girls wouldn't have to tell their parents if they wanted to go on the pill. Further changes in the 1996 Education Act made teaching about hormonal contraception and sexually transmitted infections mandatory in schools. Suddenly, both teenage boys and girls could be more open about sex. It seems cherishing their virginity suddenly wasn't quite so important.
This changing sexual behaviour was not only influenced by changing laws and legislations. Scientific advances, fashion, social revolts and, in the case of young people, peer pressure, all had a part to play. In the 1950s, girls were supposed to remain virgins until they were married, but by the time Britney Spears came along, modern teens of both sexes could often be made to feel immature, unattractive or boring if they weren't sexually active.
For a while, Britney seemed to symbolise a revolt against this new social order. Under her angelic gaze, it was OK to be a teen virgin again. But today, Spears is no longer the ambassador of sexual moderation. Her rapid evolution from doe-eyed teen to a cleavage-baring, python-wielding temptress is complete. But has her earlier influence left a lasting impression on today's teens? If the 2000 National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (NATSAL) is to be believed, she might have done.
changing views about virginity
NATSAL recruited 4,762 men and 6,399 women and asked them about various sexual experiences. It found that 30% of men and 26% of women had heterosexual intercourse before the age of 16. This means that a large proportion – 70% and 74% respectively – were over the age of consent when they lost their virginity.
Ann Furedi, former director of communications at the British Pregnancy Advisory Service, believes Britney Spears did bring a new dimension to the debate among young people about the way they should behave.
'There is new discussion about virginity among young people. Fifteen years ago it would have been regarded as seriously uncool to be a virgin in your late teens. It has now become much more acceptable – it's even being portrayed as being a bit hip.
'But we don't know to what extent this is influencing what young people do. Some might feel that keeping their virginity is right, but this may be at odds with the way they behave. It's a bit like the abortion issue where people say it's wrong in principle, but for them it's right because they "just got carried away".'
Ann may well be right, if the NATSAL results are truly representative: two in five men and four in five women who first had sex aged 13 or 14 wished they had waited longer to have intercourse.
The Family Planning Association says: 'It's up to the individual to make up his or her mind about when the time [to have sex] is right for them. This can vary enormously – there's no age at which it's too young to begin sex and relationships education.'
sex education
In the past few years, the shift in schools has moved from sex education to sex and relationships education – a move welcomed by many, especially when NATSAL reveals that underage pregnancy is most commonly associated with lack of education rather than family background.
Many experts believe the virginity debate sparked by Britney Spears in the 90s masked the vital distinction between sexual activity and sexual intercourse. A virgin is someone – male or female – who has never had sexual intercourse; but this is not to say that a virgin doesn't have a sex life or a sexual identity. Human sexuality involves much more than having full sexual intercourse.
Writing in Caring for Sexuality in Health and Illness, Doreen Clifford comments: 'In our society, the media generally presents sexuality as something active, usually about sexual intercourse of different kinds. They describe boundless sexual appetites and multiple orgasms. It often seems that the tentative first kiss, holding hands, shyness, caring and cuddling – that is, the ordinary events of loving – are too insignificant to mention.'
The old values of the 1950s, where love and holding hands were as far as many teens went, are clearly no longer tenable in the modern world, but neither are those of the 80s and 90s. The availability of more advice for teens on sex and relationships might mean that today's teens are better equipped to make decisions about their sexual activity than ever before.
Even if they are having sex earlier than Britney might once have hoped for, they do seem to be taking more control over their decisions. As sex and relationships education continues to find its feet, today's teens might find that they no longer have to sacrifice their virginity if they don't feel ready – and that they no longer have to feel embarrassed to say so.
help and info
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organisations
Brook
421 Highgate Studios
53-79 Highgate Road
London NW5 1TL
Helpline: 0800 0185 023 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm)
E-mail: admin@brookcentres.org.uk
Website: www.brook.org.uk
Provides free and confidential sexual health advice and contraception for anyone under 25. The website has tons of useful information including a secure online enquiry service and a text messaging service.
fpa (Family Planning Association)
2-12 Pentonville Road
London N1 9FP
Helpline: 0845 310 1334 (Mon-Fri 9am-6pm)
Website: www.fpa.org.uk
The Contraceptive Education Service can advise on all sexual health matters, including contraception, abortion and sexual health, and can give details of local clinics. Single copies of leaflets on all methods of contraception are free with a SAE.
Get Connected
Helpline: 0808 808 4994 (every day, 1pm-11pm)
E-mail: help@getconnected.org.uk
Website: www.getconnected.org.uk
Free confidential helpline and email service helping young people find the best support, whatever their problem.
Sexwise
Helpline: 0800 28 29 30 (7am-midnight, every day)
Website: www.ruthinking.co.uk
Offers information, advice and guidance to young people aged 12-18 about sex, relationships and contraception. The website also allows you to search for services anywhere in the UK.
Youth Access
1-2 Taylors Yard
67 Alderbrook Road
London SW12 8AD
Helpline: 020 8772 9900 (Mon-Fri 9am-1pm, 2-5pm)
E-mail: admin@youthaccess.org.uk
Website: www.youthaccess.org.uk
A national membership organisation for youth information, advice and counselling agencies. Provide details of and referrals to local youth agencies and counselling services for young people aged between 14 and 25, but do not offer direct advice.
websites
Like it is
www.likeitis.org.uk
Website for 11-15 year olds, providing advice on issues such as contraception, periods, teenage pregnancy, sex and sexuality. Has an online teenage sex survey.
Mind, Body, Soul
www.mindbodysoul.gov.uk
Website aimed at 14-16 year olds, giving information and advice on a range of issues including emotional health, sexual health, alcohol and drugs.
Sex, Etc.
www.sxetc.org
US website run by teens for teens. Has lots of information on sex related topics, including deciding about sex, love and relationships and an 'ask the experts' facility.
The Site
www.thesite.org.uk
General information and lifestyle website for young people. Has a section on sex and relationships, including sexually transmitted infections, contraception and sexual health.
Teenage Health Freak
www.teenagehealthfreak.org
Comprehensive website for teenagers, including facility to e-mail questions on a wide range of medical and sexual issues.
There4me
www.there4me.com
Confidential online advice for teenagers, including 'real time' talk with an NSPCC adviser, message board and private in-box. Subjects covered include bullying, relationships, drugs and exams.
reading
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Teenagers, The Agony, The Ecstacy, The Answers by Aidan Macfarlane and Ann McPherson (Time Warner Paperbacks, 2000) |
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The First Time: What Parents and Teenage Girls Should Know About Losing Your Virginity by Karen Bouris (Conari Press, 1995) |
'The National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles' by A Johnson, C Mercer et al in The Lancet, vol 358 (2001), issue 9296, pages 1835-1855. |
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(January 2004, resources updated February 2005)
