king of the swingers?
by Harriet Yudkin and Jamie Dibdin
king of the swingers? | so where's the catch? | taking it further - what do I need to consider? | help and info
So, you want to be a jungle VIP? Do you like the idea of having sex with several attractive people, with no strings attached? Want the chance to explore your fantasies with like-minded people? Love having the intimacy and long-term commitment of your partner, but don't want to miss out on the opportunity for sexual exploration and variety? If this sounds like something you'd like to try, the increasingly popular lifestyle known as 'swinging' could be for you.
© C4
What's so shocking about swinging anyway? Why should society be outraged by the idea of consenting adults having recreational sex, with the full knowledge, consent and often participation of their partner? Isn't this kind of open, frank relationship far preferable than the lying and deceit involved in affairs?
what can swinging offer you?
Swinging could be exciting, a turn on, and a chance to explore your sexuality and find out more about what turns you on. Having sexual experiences with different partners could give you – and your partner – more ideas about the range of sexual experiences that you could try, either in a swinging situation or in your own one-to-one relationship. It could give you a chance – more commonly for women – to explore sexual situations with someone of the same sex.
beyond jealousy
Talking openly and honestly with your partner about what turns you on allows for the possibility of sexual fulfilment. It is an achievement to get to this level of openness in a monogamous relationship, so being able to be confident enough with someone to explore sex with other people can demonstrate a level of trust and security in who you are and in the relationship. This could be liberating and deepen the closeness of your relationship, taking it to a new level.
do you have to be bisexual?
Many swingers enjoy a range of swinging experiences, which can include anything from watching another couple having sex, to swapping partners, to group sex with a number of people. These may or may not involve same-sex experiences. Where they do happen, these would be much more likely to be between women. Swinging affords many more opportunities for women to explore sex with other women, or for men to watch their female partners having sex with another woman than for men to explore their bisexuality.
Harriet Yudkin is a sexual health promotion specialist
Jamie Dibdin is a clinical psychologist
(June 2004, resources updated February 2005)
