'How do I know if I am manic depressive?'
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Q: I take Seroxat for depression, but recently I've started to question whether I am manic depressive. I am never 'down' long enough for someone to state I'm depressed and when I'm 'up' I'm almost literally on the ceiling. Last week when I actually noticed it, a friend had come to visit, and I was sitting on the top of the back of the sofa, rocking and talking so fast that I probably wasn't understandable. Ten minutes later I was curled up crying myself to sleep. I am a self-harmer and alcoholic, but I'm beginning to question if I do these things so I can stop myself from 'going up'. Am I clutching at straws to find a reason why I don't recover from my other illnesses, or does something sound wrong here? Trish, 20 |
our online advisors reply:
It sounds like you are really trying to discover what is going with your mental health and are beginning to wonder if the symptoms you experience are a result of manic depression, also referred to as bipolar disorder. The episodes you refer to do sound quite manic but I am unable to diagnose this over the internet.
It may help to educate yourself with the condition to see if it does apply to you. For a start, have a look at our features on manic depression and depression, for more information.
Sometimes the medication itself can create problems for some individuals. It might be useful for you to increase your knowledge about the different medications available, so that you could possibly suggest this to your doctor. This site might help:
http://psychologyinfo.com/depression/..
It is always advisable to keep discussing with your doctor any concerns that you may have about any medication and not to stop abruptly, as it can sometimes be more damaging. Some can have side effects that happen just as your system gets used to the changes. Others should only be used in the short term to avoid dependency.
It might also be helpful to talk or contact fellow sufferers to see if their experience is useful. The following site offers self-help groups for people with manic depression:
You don't mention if you are getting any support to help you through this difficult time. It can sometimes help to relieve the tension if you can talk to someone about what you are experiencing. It can help release the pent up emotions that you are holding onto and support you to try and eventually change your desire to hurt yourself. It can all take time to heal the pain that is causing you to do this, so having someone you trust to encourage you can be really important.
You might be interested to read our feature on self harm. There are organisations listed at the end of the article which offer information and support options that may help you through a bad time. They will also offer encouragement and understanding about why you do this.
It isn't all going to change at once but every step you make along the way will be important. Making an effort to keep your cuts clean and healthy and not being angry at yourself when you do cut are all part of your healing process. You have to allow yourself the time to heal.
In the long term, it may help to access some counselling to explore your feelings and find other ways of dealing with them. Things can get better and understanding support will help this. Your GP should be able to inform you of any local services or alternatively, the following site will help you find a local service:
www.bacp.co.uk/seeking_therapist/index.html
I hope this helps you to find further support.
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