'I'm in love with my teacher and feel like killing myself. What can I do?'
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Q: I'm in love with my 42-year-old teacher. I know I will never go out with him, but I love him. I am really stressed. I have tried suicide three times; I am on anti-depressants; I feel like killing myself now. I have been to a counsellor and psychologist but nothing helps. What do I do? I feel hopeless. I can't cope alone. I have told people, but they don't care and laugh at me. HELP!!! Zoe, 15 |
our online advisors reply:
You sound really desperate and very alone with what you are going through. It seems like it has been very difficult for you to find someone who understands how you feel. Sometimes when people don't understand they can get nervous and laugh as a means of coping. It doesn't always mean they don't care, but just that they don't know what to say or do. Whatever the reason is, it is very disheartening to hear someone laugh when you have asked for help. It can often be easier to talk to somebody you don't know, in confidence.
Even though you are aware that nothing will ever happen between you and your teacher, it still doesn't take away the feelings you have for him. It is not an uncommon thing for some young people to fall in love with their teachers and you are certainly not alone in that.
I know everything feels hopeless at the moment and it seems hard to keep on going. The strain of holding on to all the pain you feel inside must be really intense. Suicidal feelings are often the result of not being able to cope with the pain any longer. They can often be an attempt to relieve yourself of this pain, almost as if the only way to stop feeling is to stop being.
One way to try and overcome these feelings is to talk to someone who will not judge you, who will help you explore your feelings and how to cope with them.
If you don't feel you know anyone you can talk to, maybe you could try talking in confidence to a young people's helpline. There are people there who will listen and understand what you are experiencing. You do not have to be alone with this. The Samaritans are available 24 hours a day on 08457 909090 and ChildLine on 0800 11 11.
There is no problem that can't be sorted, so please don't give up on life. Instead, consider this to be your turning point. Just sending us this email was a courageous step, but you need to build on it now by recognising that there are people and places that can help you overcome the pressure you're under.
The following features on our website might be useful to you, and will give more suggestions for places where you can find help.
Coming off anti-depressants
Suicidal feelings
Young lives under pressure
Or have a look at these external sites:
www.justlikeme.org.uk
www.depressioninteenagers.co.uk
www.at-ease.nsf.org.uk/az_info.html
I hope this helps Zoe, and do please speak to someone.
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