'My girlfriend wants to break up, but I love her and want her back. What can I do?'
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Q: I have been told by my girlfriend of 12 months that she's no longer happy and wants to be on her own. After talking to her she tells me that she doesn't want to stay in a relationship in which she is not happy and wants to be just friends. I have asked her if there is someone else and believe her that she just wants to be on her own. I love her and want her back. I can't stop thinking about her and when I finally get to sleep dream about her. I really do not want to lose her but want her as more than just a friend. Please help. Matt, 27 |
our online advisors reply:
You are obviously very hurt about this break up and it seems difficult for you to know what to do now.
Your girlfriend says she was not happy and I wonder if you have discussed this fully with her to find out what was making her unhappy. It may be that there are aspects of your relationship she wants to change and by talking to each other and being honest with each other, you may be able to find out what they are. However, if her love for you has changed and she no longer feels she loves you or wants to try to change the relationship, you will have to face up to the fact that the relationship is over. You may be interested in contacting Relate, the relationship counselling service. They will see couples together or you can contact them on your own. For more information about Relate and other organisations which can help you have a look at the Couple counselling feature on our website.
Any break up can be very painful and hard to accept and get over. You may find the following articles on break-ups useful:
- www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/teenlife/rel_dumped.html
- www.channel4.com/health/microsites/F/family/21st/survive.html
It sounds as if it might be hard for you to remain friends with your girlfriend at the moment as your feelings for her are very strong and it may be necessary for you to tell her this so that you are not hurt every time you see her, having to pretend that you are just friends.
It is also important to try to make sure that you are looking after yourself at this difficult time and I wonder if there are friends around who you can talk to and spend time with? If you find yourself getting really down and want to talk to someone you can call the Samaritans anytime on 0845 7 909090.
I hope this helps Matt. Take care.
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