don't panic

Feeling down or distressed and it doesn't seem to be getting better? Here are some vital tips for you – and for family and friends – that can help…

get help

The sooner you admit to yourself that you have a problem and ask for help, the easier it will be to deal with it. See your GP, or if you find that too difficult for now, ring an appropriate helpline.

If you are a friend or relative, do your best to try and persuade them to seek some outside help.

get information

The more you know about the particular condition, the more you will understand your own feelings and reactions. If you are a friend or relative, knowing about it will enable you to offer more appropriate support and help you to feel less panicky.

Ask health professionals for explanations, contact appropriate voluntary organisations for helpful books or leaflets or check out the internet. Keep telephone numbers of relevant professionals and voluntary organisations to hand in case you need advice. Include emergency out-of-hours numbers if there is likely to be a crisis.

give treatment a chance

Most treatments take some weeks or months before any difference is noticed. Be patient. If you are unhappy about any aspect of treatment you are receiving, talk it through with the health professional concerned. It may be that some adjustments can be made.

If you are a friend or relative of someone experiencing difficulties, give them support so that they can stick with their treatment and follow it through.

for people experiencing problems

You are bound to feel anxious if you or someone close to you seems to be not coping either emotionally or psychologically. It is often difficult to know what to do for the best. But there are things you can do to help.

don't try to do too much

Take things one step at a time and don't push yourself on the days when you feel very down.

find support

Make sure you have someone who understands your difficulties and who you can turn to for support when you need it. This might be a friend or relative, a health professional or someone in a support group.

talk to others

Talking to other people who have been through the same kinds of experiences is often reassuring. They can help you feel less isolated and perhaps give you helpful tips on how to cope.

keep fit and eat properly

Try to exercise regularly. It will give you more energy to cope and may make you less anxious or depressed. A balanced diet is also important, so try to eat healthily.

find an activity you enjoy

Doing something you enjoy – listening to music, gardening or painting, for example – can often help you feel calmer.

learn to relax

Being able to relax can help you deal with feelings of panic. Ask your doctor to recommend a relaxation technique for when you feel very stressed.

for friends and relatives

listen

It is usually a relief for people experiencing emotional or psychological difficulties to express what they feel, knowing that you accept them as they are. Don't jolly them along or tell them things can't be all that bad – they will feel even more isolated. Make it clear that you are there to support them and that help is available if they want it.

reassure

People with such problems often feel unlovable and worthless and need lots of reassurance. Let them know you care and try not to feel hurt if they seem unresponsive. Coping with their own feelings is probably all they can manage, but they will still want to know you are there for them.

stay calm

When in contact with your friend or relative, try not to show your distress – otherwise their tension and anxiety will escalate. This does not mean you can't lay down boundaries or say 'no'. Just try to do so in a calm way.

don't pressurise

Try not to add to the person's anxieties by expecting too much from them. When the time seems right, support them to deal with one difficulty or task at a time and in small steps. Make sure you praise them for what they accomplish.

don't get drawn in

Try not to get drawn into the person's problem. You will be more help if you have your own feet firmly on the ground. Remember, too, that you have your own life to live.

help yourself

If you are closely involved with someone with serious or long-term problems, you are likely to be under a great deal of strain. Get support for yourself. See your GP or talk to other helpful professionals or voluntary organisations or phone an appropriate helpline.