when your child won't eat
by Hilary Pereira
what can parents do?
'Parents should try not to give children lots of attention when they refuse to eat, as they are more likely to continue with any behaviour that gets attention,' advises Sara Stanner, a food scientist from the British Nutrition Foundation. 'Instead, try praising them when they do show interest in food, but making no comment otherwise.' And she adds reassuringly, 'As well as being common, food refusal often just goes away by itself.'
tips to encourage eating
- If your child is a poor eater, offer her foods that are high in calories and nutritious, such as cheese and full-fat milk, to make up any shortfall.
- Avoid letting your child eat whatever she chooses, on the grounds that at least he's eating something, as this will perpetuate the problem. Cut down gradually on her favourites, introducing some variety.
- The occasional packet of sweets or plate of biscuits will do no harm once your child has established better eating habits. However, you could make a rule that they are limited to weekends or after meals.
- Don't put too much emphasis on eating only 'healthy' foods. Fats and sugar are important sources of energy at this age.
- Avoid distractions such as TV or toys at mealtimes.
taking the pressure off
Eating and discipline should be two different areas in your child's life. If you promise your child a chocolate bar as long as she finishes her tea, she will see tea as a punishment to be endured, with chocolate as a reward at the end. Because of this, she will place far more value on the chocolate and less on the meal. If she is hungry, encourage her to eat freely from whatever foods you have prepared. If not, don't force her but be clear there will be nothing else until her next snack or mealtime, and stick to your guns.
timing is all
You're more likely to tempt your child to eat something new when she is at her hungriest: offer her child-friendly portions of healthy snack foods (see the making food fun box). Don't allow her to fill up on juice and squash; instead, offer her a small cup of water at mealtimes, and limit her fluid intake in the run-up to each meal.
And finally, remember that while it seems like it's going on forever, food refusal usually just goes away. As Helen Browning says, 'although Natasha was slow to gain weight, she was growing adequately according to her centile charts. And, when she was about 18 months old, she started to copy her peers at nursery and eat well, although she still wouldn't eat much at home.
'Things gradually began to improve around her second birthday, when she was able to feed herself fully. Now she still has a bird-like appetite and an over-fondness for sweets, but she is eating a full range of foods and enjoying milk again. She's happy, very healthy and bursting with energy, so I reckon she must be getting what she needs.'
Dr Wilson says, 'Children are influenced by their peer group by the age of five, and will often start to eat new foods when visiting their friends for meals. The curiosity of comparing the contents of lunchboxes, for example, helps children to see food in a new context – and trying new things is really to do with increased social skill.'
Gabriel's story
Six-year-old Gabriel Hawkes will only eat dry bran flakes for breakfast and sometimes a soya pudding. Lunch is either a particular brand of crackers or bread with a particular brand of margarine on. This is the extent of his limited diet. His mother Julia says she has spent years worrying about his food and was relieved when he was recently diagnosed as a perseverant eater.
There are 50,000 perseverant eaters in the UK, most of them boys, which may indicate there is a genetic factor in its development. They are not, says Gillian Harris, an eating disorder specialist, simply fussy eaters trying to annoy their parents. Treatment for Gabriel involves encouraging him to try similar products to the things he likes, such as moving from Penguins to Penguin cakes, to slowly build up the range of foods he will try. 'Most children will improve their diet when they realise how inconvenient it is when they can't go out with their mates,' says Dr Harris.
(April 2002, resources updated March 2005)
