'My bulimia's getting worse. Please can you give me some advice?'
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Q: I have suffered from bulimia since I was 15. I have recently got more control of it (I used to vomit four times a day and now it is about once every two days), but I find that certain situations trigger bingeing, namely being alone, bored, anxious and surrounded by high-calorie food. Now that I am at home from university for the holidays, the problem has started getting worse again as I have little to do most days and I often have the house to myself. I feel like I'm slipping out of control again. I told my mum about my disorder a year ago, but she thinks it can be cured in a matter of days by her controlling what I eat and then certifying me better. She puts it down to a teenage phase and thinks I'll grow out of it. I don't feel I can go and see my doctor as she is a friend of the family. It is making me so unhappy and I feel like I'm failing myself. I'm so fed up with this whole part of my life, which I have to keep secret because I am so disgusted with myself. Please can you give me some advice? Katy, 19 |
our online advisors reply:
I'm concerned that you feel as though you're failing yourself, Katy. Recovering from an eating disorder is not easy, even with expert help. You've achieved a lot in reducing the frequency of your bingeing and that seems like success to me, not failure.
You say that you have to keep your bulimia a secret, but keeping things inside can often make them worse. It can't be easy for you to deal with what is happening on your own, but it sounds like you aren't sure where to turn for help.
It must be frustrating to feel your mum doesn't understand what's going on with you and thinks that your bingeing can be cured so easily. Do you think it's possible that she would be more supportive if she had more information about bulimia? If you decide you would like to try talking to your mum again, you could suggest that she reads our binge and bust article.
There are sources of help outside the family. You say that your doctor is a family friend, but she still has a duty to respect your confidentiality. Having said that, I'm wondering whether you've considered registering with a GP near your university. It is a good idea to have a doctor close to where you live most of the time. Some universities have a dedicated student health centre.
Another possibility is the counselling service at your university. Seeing a counsellor would give you chance to talk through your feelings completely confidentially, without being judged or told what to do. Your student union welfare officer will have the contact details, or you could look on the university website or intranet.
Of course I realise that it will be a few weeks before you go back to university and you need some support now.
Are there any school friends in your home town that you are still in touch with? Is there anyone to whom you feel close enough to talk to about what's happening? You say that two of your triggers are being alone and bored, so spending more time with friends might help you avoid these trigger situations.
There is a specialist telephone helpline you can call too. It's run by the Eating Disorders Association (EDA) and the number is 0845 634 1414 and it is open Mondays to Fridays 10.30am-8.30pm. The cost is the same as a local call and remember that it will show up on the phone bill.
It is possible to recover from bulimia, Katy. The EDA helpline has information about treatment options. Or have a look at our help me please article, which has a list of other sources of help and information.
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