'How can I make my friend see that she isn't fat?'
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Q: My friend thinks she is fat but she's really skinny. She is always on a diet and doesn't eat much anyway (sometimes she barely eats one meal a day), she complains about how 'fat' she is. She weighs 9 stone and is 5'7 in height and thinks she is very heavy. What can I say to her? She doesn't believe me when I tell her she isn't fat. I think she is anorexic but I don't know what to say or do. Can you give me some advice? Kelly, 15 |
our online advisors reply:
I'm sorry to hear that you're so concerned that your friend believes she's fat, even though you think she's skinny. It sounds like you really want to help her, as you believe that she's anorexic, but you're not sure how you can do this.
Knowing what to say to someone who is convinced that they are fat can be really difficult. It is not unusual for someone with an eating problem to find it difficult to see the way they look objectively, and it can be quite hard for them to help themselves.
Even though you say that your friend doesn't believe you when you tell her she's not fat, it will help to have someone around her who cares enough to say so. When someone is unhappy, people trying to make them feel better about themselves can really help, even if they find it difficult to believe the things that person says. Remember that supporting your friend may be helping her to deal with the way that she feels, even if it seems at times that you aren't getting through to her.
Providing a space for her to talk without being judged may also allow her to open up about and discuss what she is feeling, if she is ready to do that. The following websites offer some insights on how to approach a friend:
The information contained in the above pages will hopefully help you decide how to approach your friend. However, I think it is also important for you to look after yourself. It sounds like worrying about your friend is hard on you too, so it's important that you get the support that you need. This site below offers information for friends and has an e-mail support service and telephone helpline for young people. This can offer support for both you and your friend.
The EDA's Youthline (a helpline for people up to and including 18 years of age) is available from 4pm to 6.30pm, Monday to Friday, on 0845 634 7650 and also on Saturdays from 1pm to 4.30pm.
You could also have a look at food section of this site. We've got features on learning to love our bodies and dieting without end which will give you more information.
I hope this helps Kelly. Take care.
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