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'I'm finding it hard to cope with my long-distance relationship and college work. What can I do?'

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Q: My girlfriend lives about 150 miles away from me plus I've got a lot of college work to do. It is causing me a lot of stress and I feel that I'm on the verge of cracking up. What can I do to get rid of this problem?

Declan, 17

our online advisors reply:

I am glad you felt able to contact us. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. Pressure with college is piling up and it sounds like you're missing your girlfriend because she lives a distance away.

I am concerned that you have a lot of feelings bottled up right now and this will be increasing your stress levels. Often such feelings can become overwhelming and begin to have a negative effect on our lives. It can lead to stress and frustration because we are not sure how to handle them.

Being away from your loved one is tough. Long distance relationships can be hard and sometimes stressful but there are positive aspects too. A relationship based on trust and respect for each other means each person has the chance to feel relaxed and be themselves. Trust is an important part in any relationship, and is especially important if you live apart. Communication is the answer to any good relationship. This could strengthen your relationship as you both learn how to express your feelings to one another. Talk to your girlfriend about your worries and concerns - you may find she has some too.

The following websites have some advice about long distance relationships:

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1039.html

http://ksks.essortment.com/makingrelations_rcyt.htm

College work can often be hard. It can sometimes feel like you are banging your head against a brick wall and you will never get everything done or you won't be able to learn the information needed. Try to take a step back. Your teachers are there to help if you are struggling. Try to organise your time and prioritise what needs to be done. It is also very important to take breaks when you are studying and learn to relax. The Stress section of this website has a number of useful articles which you may like to read.

When people feel the way you do it can really help to talk things through. It can sometimes help us put things into perspective and learn how to move forward from here. Is there someone you could trust with your true feelings? Perhaps a family member or friend. If you would rather speak to someone who doesn't know you, you could contact ChildLine. This is a free and confidential helpline for anyone under 19. The number is 0800 1111. Alternatively you could gain support over the internet if you prefer. The Samaritans offer an e-mail service at jo@samaritans.org. www.youth2youth.co.uk is a website written by and for young people; they offer e-mail, telephone and chat room support.

I hope this helps.

Channel 4 is not responsible for the content of third party sites.

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